Waking up after a fantastic night only to discover that his girlfriend is a vampire and has transformed him into one, C. Thomas Flood adapts to his new powers while dealing with a dangerous faction of bloodsuckers trying to kill off all other vampires.

Paul Bae is now a highly regarded comedian, podcaster, and the director of the Marvel Studios podcast Marvels, but he was once a high school English teacher. One day, during his student-teaching practicum, Paul Bae assigned weekend homework to the class. “You suck,” a student muttered. Mr. Bae turned on his heel, approached the student. “What did you say?” “Sorry. You suck, sir,” the student replied. Mr. Bae promptly returned to his desk, took out his teaching journal, and wrote down the exchange, which would become the first entry of hundreds of recorded encounters with students. Over the course of twelve years of teaching English, "Mr. Bae" -- or more simply, “Sir” -- kept several journals in which he recorded conversations he had with his students. You Suck, Sir presents the best of those conversations. Ranging from outrageously funny to touchingly poignant, these vignettes are full of heart. Paul’s stories are an irreverent, honest glimpse of teaching and learning and an inspiring peek into the connection one teacher has with his students. Both educators and anyone who has ever been a student will see themselves and their daily triumphs and struggles reflected here. You Suck, Sir is the latest title to be published under the Robin’s Egg Books imprint. Robin’s Egg Books features some of the freshest, smartest, and above all, funniest writing on a variety of culturally relevant subjects. Titles in the imprint are curated and edited by comedian, playwright, and author Charles Demers.

In this emotionally powerful, funny debut, Cricket Cherpin needs to figure out what to do with his life before he turns 18. But life sucksNso why not just give up?

Hey -- you there with the cheap chardonnay -- you think you know how to drink, but this book will gently lead you to the conclusion that you do, indeed, suck at drinking. It's time to imbibe correctly, and author Matthew Latkiewicz has compiled this helpful, wryly humorous guide to help you navigate any drinking situation and answer any pedantic questions, including: * What's the difference between a flip, a fizz, and a smash? * What is the official state term for being inebriated in Iowa? * How do you choose the right drink to suit any occasion? And much more! Complete with tons of helpful illustrations and handy graphs, this guide will become indispensable to anyone who no longer wants to -- suck at drinking.

Do you crave food all the time? Do you think you might want to eat again in the future? Do you suck at cooking? Inspired by the wildly popular YouTube channel, these 60+ recipes will help you suck slightly less You already know the creator of the YouTube show You Suck at Cooking by his well-manicured hands and mysterious voice, and now you’ll know him for this equally well-manicured and mysterious tome. It contains more than sixty recipes for beginner cooks and noobs alike, in addition to hundreds of paragraphs and sentences, as well as photos and drawings. You’ll learn to cook with unintimidating ingredients in dishes like Broccoli Cheddar Quiche Cupcake Muffin-Type Things, Eddie’s Roasted Red Pepper Dip (while also learning all about Eddie’s sad, sad life), Jalapeño Chicken, and also other stuff. In addition, there are cooking tips that can be applied not only to the very recipes in this book, but also to recipes outside of this book, and to all other areas of your life (with mixed results). In the end, you just might suck slightly less at cooking.* *Results not guaranteed

Jody never asked to become a vampire. But when she wakes up under an alley Dumpster with a badly burned arm, an aching back, superhuman strength, and a distinctly Nosferatuan thirst, she realizes the decision has been made for her. Making the transition from the nine-to-five grind to an eternity of nocturnal prowlings is going to take some doing, however, and that's where C. Thomas Flood fits in. A would-be Kerouac from Incontinence, Indiana, Tommy (to his friends) is biding his time night-clerking and frozen-turkey bowling in a San Francisco Safeway. But all that changes when a beautiful undead redhead walks through the door...and proceeds to rock Tommy's life—and afterlife—in ways he never thought possible.

“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.” —Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.”