An important new work from a master in the field of behavioral health care. Althea Horner offers expert instruction in understanding and treating emotional disorders through a classic object-relations perspective on childhood development.

"What is particularly impressive is the way that Rosie relates different therapeutic theories and practices to each other. Her years of experience as a therapist shine through." Michael Jacobs, one of the founders of psychodynamic therapy & author of The Presenting Past "Rosie March-Smith draws on her rich experience working with couples to provide a wealth of insights and pointers for all of us." Prof Peter Hawkins, psychotherapist "Rosie March-Smith has provided an insightful and rewarding journey into an area that we would all like to be better at – our relationships to others." David Hamilton, Counselling student at South Kent College, UK "Rosie March-Smith covers some key themes from her integrative framework about people’s relational styles such as hidden controllers, core issues and sub personalities ... I really enjoyed how she linked her view of relationships with personality types to give me new insight ... Throughout the book Rosie March-Smith gives case studies which made the chapter subject come alive for me and deepen my understanding ... I believe this book would therefore appeal to trainee, newly qualified and more experienced therapists working with individuals only as well as those working or about to work with couples." Lynn Barnes, Counselling Student, Metanoia Institute, UK "I would recommend this book for anyone who has an interest in relationship therapy, is doing a course in counselling or has a general interest in patterns of human behaviour. There is a great deal of rich, deep and thought-provoking material in it, which is written in a very accessible and interesting way." David Seddon, Nottingham University, UK This fascinating book reveals what goes on in therapy sessions. It shows you how getting to the core of a painful issue or a relationship problem can be achieved within the first few sessions. Skilfully illustrating how exploring the unconscious mind can help people to overcome relationship difficulties, Rosie March-Smith writes for both clinicians and those readers interested to learn how therapy works. The book argues that the underlying cause in relationship breakdown of any kind is almost always rooted in childhood and insists that getting to the core of the problem quickly is essential and can also be achieved within the first few sessions. Relationship problems at home, in the workplace, in social situations and in times of illness are sympathetically explored through client case studies and post-therapy interviews. Interviewees reveal their deepest feelings and learn to cope with tragedy, or with the sadness of inexplicable marital collapse. Offering invaluable learning tools for mental health professionals and trainees, Relationship Therapy provides helpful insights for anyone interested in understanding more about therapy. With a foreword by Michael Jacobs. Rosie March-Smith is a registered psychotherapist with the UK Council for Psychotherapy. She has written extensively on education and mental health matters and has been a psychotherapist in private practice for over twenty years.

A groundbreaking approach to transforming traumatic legacies passed down in families over generations, by an acclaimed expert in the field Depression. Anxiety. Chronic Pain. Phobias. Obsessive thoughts. The evidence is compelling: the roots of these difficulties may not reside in our immediate life experience or in chemical imbalances in our brains—but in the lives of our parents, grandparents, and even great-grandparents. The latest scientific research, now making headlines, supports what many have long intuited—that traumatic experience can be passed down through generations. It Didn’t Start with You builds on the work of leading experts in post-traumatic stress, including Mount Sinai School of Medicine neuroscientist Rachel Yehuda and psychiatrist Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score. Even if the person who suffered the original trauma has died, or the story has been forgotten or silenced, memory and feelings can live on. These emotional legacies are often hidden, encoded in everything from gene expression to everyday language, and they play a far greater role in our emotional and physical health than has ever before been understood. As a pioneer in the field of inherited family trauma, Mark Wolynn has worked with individuals and groups on a therapeutic level for over twenty years. It Didn’t Start with You offers a pragmatic and prescriptive guide to his method, the Core Language Approach. Diagnostic self-inventories provide a way to uncover the fears and anxieties conveyed through everyday words, behaviors, and physical symptoms. Techniques for developing a genogram or extended family tree create a map of experiences going back through the generations. And visualization, active imagination, and direct dialogue create pathways to reconnection, integration, and reclaiming life and health. It Didn’t Start With You is a transformative approach to resolving longstanding difficulties that in many cases, traditional therapy, drugs, or other interventions have not had the capacity to touch.

As seen on The TODAY Show! “A godsend to anyone searching for, but struggling to find, true love in their lives.” —Kristin Neff, PhD, author of Self-Compassion "Empowering and compassionate, and its lessons are universal." —Publishers Weekly Real love starts with you. In order to attract a life partner and build a healthy intimate relationship, you must first become a good partner to yourself. This book offers twenty invaluable lessons that will help you explore and commit to your own emotional and psychological well-being so you can be ready, resilient, and confident in love. Many of us enter into romantic relationships full of expectation and hope, only to be sorely disappointed by the realization that the partner we’ve selected is a flawed human being with their own neuroses, history, and desires. Most relationships end because one or both people haven’t done the internal work necessary to develop self-awareness and take responsibility for their own experiences. We’ve all heard “You can’t love anyone unless you love yourself,” but amid life’s distractions and the myth of perfect, romantic love, how exactly do you do that? In Loving Bravely, psychologist, professor and relationship expert Alexandra H. Solomon introduces the idea of relational self-awareness, encouraging you to explore your personal history to gain an understanding of your own relational patterns, as well as your strengths and weaknesses in relationships. By doing so, you’ll learn what relationships actually require, beyond the fairytale notions of romance. And by maintaining a steady but gentle focus on yourself, you’ll build the best possible foundation for making a loving connection. By understanding your past relationship experiences, cultivating a strong sense of self-awareness, and determining what it is you really want in a romantic partner—you’ll be ready to find the healthy, lasting love your heart desires.

Can two people develop a relationship that will support, encourage, and nurture their real self? Can the hope of being understood, known, and truly accepted become a reality? Can a real relationship heal the wounds and emotional deficits received in early life? The search for meaning is the journey of expressing one's real self. Pfeiffer describes how two partners can seek to develop a relationship in which both find support for the expression of their real self. Partners who make a real relationship work have certain skills. They know and practice core interpersonal skills, which allows them to form a relationship that can endure, deepen, and grow. If you are or hope to be in an intimate relationship you will want to give this book to yourself and your partner. Creating Real Relationships is an inspiring guide that offers encouragement for those seeking more meaning and healthy closeness in their relationship. A real relationship provides its partners with the opportunity for personal growth, development of the real self, and emotional and spiritual healing. The author weaves professional knowledge with personal experience to show the reader how to overcome the power of difference and shame, which may threaten the level of relationship satisfaction. This essential book offers clear explanations, practical skills, insightful background, and a map for the healing journey possible in real relationships.

A nationally known couples therapist reveals the single root cause of all relationship problems—and offers revolutionary advice on what to do about it While most of us have moments of loving freely and openly, it is often hard to sustain this where it matters most—in our intimate relationships. If love is so great and powerful, why are human relationships so challenging and difficult? If love is the source of happiness and joy, why is it so hard to open to it fully and let it govern our lives? In this book, John Welwood addresses these questions and shows us how to overcome the most fundamental obstacle that keeps us from experiencing love's full flowering in our lives. Perfect Love, Imperfect Relationships begins by showing how all our relational problems arise out of a universal ‘wound of the heart’ that affects not only our personal relationships but the quality of life in our world as a whole. This core wound shows up as a pervasive mood of unlove—a deep sense that we are not intrinsically lovable just as we are. It shuts down our capacity to trust, so that even though we may hunger for love, we have difficulty opening to it and letting it circulate freely through us. This book takes the reader on a powerful journey of healing and transformation that involves learning to embrace these imperfections—within ourselves and within our relationships—as trail-markers along the path to great love. It sets forth a process for releasing deep-seated grievances we hold against others for not loving us better and against ourselves for not being better loved. And it shows how our longing to be loved can magnetize the great love that will free us from looking to others to find ourselves. Written with penetrating realism and a fresh, lyrical style that honors the subtlety and richness of our relationship to love itself, this revolutionary book offers profound and practical guidance for healing our lives as well as our embattled world.

Fascinating patient stories and dynamic exercises help you connect to healing emotions, ease anxiety and depression, and discover your authentic self. Sara suffered a debilitating fear of asserting herself. Spencer experienced crippling social anxiety. Bonnie was shut down, disconnected from her feelings. These patients all came to psychotherapist Hilary Jacobs Hendel seeking treatment for depression, but in fact none of them were chemically depressed. Rather, Jacobs Hendel found that they’d all experienced traumas in their youth that caused them to put up emotional defenses that masqueraded as symptoms of depression. Jacobs Hendel led these patients and others toward lives newly capable of joy and fulfillment through an empathic and effective therapeutic approach that draws on the latest science about the healing power of our emotions. Whereas conventional therapy encourages patients to talk through past events that may trigger anxiety and depression, accelerated experiential dynamic psychotherapy (AEDP), the method practiced by Jacobs Hendel and pioneered by Diana Fosha, PhD, teaches us to identify the defenses and inhibitory emotions (shame, guilt, and anxiety) that block core emotions (anger, sadness, fear, disgust, joy, excitement, and sexual excitement). Fully experiencing core emotions allows us to enter an openhearted state where we are calm, curious, connected, compassionate, confident, courageous, and clear. In It’s Not Always Depression, Jacobs Hendel shares a unique and pragmatic tool called the Change Triangle—a guide to carry you from a place of disconnection back to your true self. In these pages, she teaches lay readers and helping professionals alike • why all emotions—even the most painful—have value. • how to identify emotions and the defenses we put up against them. • how to get to the root of anxiety—the most common mental illness of our time. • how to have compassion for the child you were and the adult you are. Jacobs Hendel provides navigational tools, body and thought exercises, candid personal anecdotes, and profound insights gleaned from her patients’ remarkable breakthroughs. She shows us how to work the Change Triangle in our everyday lives and chart a deeply personal, powerful, and hopeful course to psychological well-being and emotional engagement.