Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog

Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog
Title Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog PDF eBook
Author Lisa Scottoline
Publisher Macmillan
Pages 324
Release 2010-10-12
Genre Family & Relationships
ISBN 9780312649432

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This one's for you, extraordinary ordinary women everywhere It's time for seriously hilarious girl-talk with New York Times bestselling author Lisa Scottoline. She's shared this collection of scenes from her real life, and she bets her life sounds a lot like yours . . . if you crave carbs, can't find jeans that fit, and still believe that these two things are unrelated. Pick up this book--you'll laugh, you'll cry, and you'll swear off pantyhose. Here are some examples of Lisa's wit and wisdom: "Everybody has their pornography, and mine is the real estate ads." "We'll get universal health care before we get beauty salons open on Mondays, and that's backwards. Ask any woman if she'd rather have a haircut or a mammogram, and you'll see what I mean." "Mothers are a natural force, and maybe an alternative source of fuel." "Lately there's been talk about a religion that allows polygamy, so that a man can have as many wives as he pleases. Where is the religion that allows a woman to have as many husbands as she pleases?" "I have never been in an accident, if you don't count my two marriages." "My mother taught us that if you eat baked beans from a can that has dents, you'll die of botulism. This was before people injected botulism into their faces. Nowadays, the dented can will kill you, but you'll look young." Inspired by her wildly popular column in The Philadelphia Inquirer entitled "Chick Wit," Why My Third Husband Will Be a Dog is a book you'll have to put down--just to stop laughing.

A Three Dog Life

A Three Dog Life
Title A Three Dog Life PDF eBook
Author Abigail Thomas
Publisher Houghton Mifflin Harcourt
Pages 197
Release 2007
Genre Biography & Autobiography
ISBN 0156033232

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Author Abigail Thomas shares the story of how she started a new life after an accident left her husband brain damaged and institutionalized.

My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space

My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space
Title My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space PDF eBook
Author Lisa Scottoline
Publisher St. Martin's Press
Pages 258
Release 2010-10-26
Genre Family & Relationships
ISBN 1429941812

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The incomparable Lisa Scottoline, along with daughter Francesca, is back with more wild and wonderful wit and wisdom: My Nest Isn't Empty, It Just Has More Closet Space. Critics and readers loved Lisa Scottoline's first collection of true-life stories, which only encouraged her—now she's back with these all-new, exciting adventures. She's farther down the road now, and the scenery has changed—ex-husbands Thing One and Thing Two are in her rear-view mirror, daughter Francesca has moved into an apartment, and Lisa's finding the silver lining in her empty nest, which has lots more room for her shoes. And some things have stayed the same—Mother Mary is still the feistiest octogenarian on the planet, who won't part with her recipe for tomato sauce or her thirty-year old bra. In this book Lisa and Francesca spill all their family secrets—which sound a lot like yours, if you understand that three generations of women is the formula for spontaneous combustion. Inspired by her weekly column entitled, "Chick Wit" for The Philadelphia Inquirer, this is a book you'll have to put down—just to stop laughing.

You Are a Dog

You Are a Dog
Title You Are a Dog PDF eBook
Author Terry Bain
Publisher Crown
Pages 162
Release 2010-04-14
Genre Pets
ISBN 0307549933

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A hilarious, captivating commentary that gives us--finally--a true dog’s-eye view of the world. • The Sofa: “The sofa is Position One. The sofa makes you feel as if you are with your people even when your people are gone.” • The Toilet: “The advantage of drinking from the toilet is that the water is always fresh.” • The Baby: “Often known as She Who Randomly Flings Food from the Table, the baby has the most flavorful, ever-changing face of all your people.” “After reading You Are a Dog, you will start thinking like a dog.” --Bash Dibra, celebrity pet trainer and author of DogSpeak “You Are a Dog should be the talk of every dog run in the U.S. With humor, and more bite than one might expect, Terry Bain helps us to see the world through the eyes of our dogs, and to look at their lives in fresh and insightful ways.” --Jon Katz, author of A Dog Year, The New Work of Dogs, and The Dogs of Bedlam Farm “Terry Bain has cracked the canine code to demystify those charming, endearing, and occasionally bizarre habits our beloved dogs exhibit. You Are a Dog is equal parts witty and warm, sweet and sympathetic--read this and be destined to meet your dog at a richer, deeper level.”--Dr. Marty Becker, veterinary contributor for Good Morning America, author of The Healing Power of Pets

Marley

Marley
Title Marley PDF eBook
Author John Grogan
Publisher Harper Collins
Pages 212
Release 2009-02-24
Genre Juvenile Nonfiction
ISBN 0061853399

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This nonfiction book has been faithfully adapted for young readers from the #1 New York Times bestselling memoir Marley & Me by John Grogan! Marley, a lovable Labrador retriever, is always getting himself into trouble. Some may say he is the world's worst dog. But those who know and love Marley understand that nothing can stop his loyalty, exuberance, and passion—not even the Grogans' screen door! How this big, rambunctious dog becomes the heart of the Grogan family is the story of Marley.

How to Be a Dog

How to Be a Dog
Title How to Be a Dog PDF eBook
Author Jo Williamson
Publisher Scholastic
Pages 33
Release 2015-08-06
Genre Juvenile Fiction
ISBN 1407157817

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A heart-warming picture book told from the perspective of a dog about two best friends--a dog and a boy. Do you want to learn how to be the best dog you can be? Just follow the steps in this book After choosing a human to live with, learn where you should sleep (everywhere), who you should be friendly with and who to bark at, how to keep the floor clean of any food, how to play fetch, and more Before you know it you'll be having lots of fun . . . and your human may even become your best friend. Told from the perspective of one clever dog, this humorous story perfectly showcases the special relationship between a dog and his human.

Marley & Me

Marley & Me
Title Marley & Me PDF eBook
Author John Grogan
Publisher Harper Collins
Pages 323
Release 2009-03-17
Genre Pets
ISBN 0061793558

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The heartwarming and unforgettable story of a family and the wondrously neurotic dog who taught them what really matters in life. Now with photos and new material. Is it possible for humans to discover the key to happiness through a bigger-than-life, bad-boy dog? Just ask the Grogans. John and Jenny were just beginning their life together. They were young and in love, with not a care in the world. Then they brought home Marley, a wiggly yellow furball of a puppy. Life would never be the same. Marley grew into a barreling, ninety-seven-pound streamroller of a Labrador retriever. He crashed through screen doors, gouged through drywall, and stole women's undergarments. Obedience school did no good -- Marley was expelled. But just as Marley joyfully refused any limits on his behavior, his love and loyalty were boundless, too. Marley remained a model of devotion, even when his family was at its wit's end. Unconditional love, they would learn, comes in many forms. Marley & Me is John Grogan's funny, unforgettable tribute to this wonderful, wildly neurotic Lab and the meaning he brought to their lives.