We yearn to experience the idealized love depicted in so many novels, movies, poems, and popular songs. Ironically, it is the idealization of love that arms it with its destructive power. Popular media consistently remind us that love is all we need, but statistics concerning the rate of depression and suicides after divorce or romantic break up remind us what might happened if "all that we need" is taken away. This book is about our ideals of love, our experiences, of love, the actual disparity between the two, and the manners of coping with this disparity. A major study case of the book concerns men who have murdered their wives or partners allegedly 'out of love'. It is estimated that over 30% of all female murder victims in the United States die at the hands of a former or present spouse or boyfriend. How can murdering a loved one be associated with the assumed moral and altruistic love? Not only is love intrinsically ambivalent, but it can also give rise to dangerous consequences. Some of the worst evils have been committed in the name of love (as in the name of God). A unique collaboration between a leading philosopher in the field of emotions and a social scientist, In the Name of Love presents fascinating insights into romantic love and its future in modern society.

Is it impossible to let go — despite the pain? • Do you yearn for someone who is not physically or emotionally available to you? • Do you believe that if you love him enough he will have to love you? • When you feel insecure, does it drive you only to want her more? • Do you find yourself phoning repeatedly or waiting long hours for the phone to ring? Do you wish someone would let go of you? • Does an ex-lover or ex-spouse refuse to believe that it’s over? • Do you receive unwanted phone calls, letters, presents, or visits? • Is this pursuit of you creating so much anxiety that it affects your physical or emotional well-being? In this invaluable self-help guide, Dr. Susan Forward presents vivid case histories as well as the real-life voices of men and women caught in the grip of obsessive passion. Whether you’re an obsessive lover or the target of such an obsession, here is a proven, step-by-step program that shows you how to recognize the “connection compulsion,” what causes it, and how to break its hold on your life so that you can go on to build healthy, lasting, and pain-free relationships.

Offers advice on how to choose the most effective therapies and medications, and how to avoid relapses.

A must-read book for anyone involved in a dangerously obsessive relationship. Confusing Love with Obsession is a must-read for anyone involved in a dangerously obsessive relationship. Fueled by an overwhelming fear of abandonment, people involved in obsessive relationships will go to extreme lengths to control their partner. Here, John D. Moore draws from excruciating real-life stories and personal experience to reveal the inner workings of obsessive relationships. More important, Confusing Love with Obsession helps readers develop a new self-awareness and healthy relationship--free from preoccupation with an object of obsession.

Offers advice & a practical guide to making relationships work

The summer Lisa A. Phillips turned thirty, she fell in love with someone who didn’t return her feelings. She became obsessed, following him around, calling him compulsively, and talking about him endlessly. One desperate morning, after she snuck into his apartment building, he picked up a baseball bat to protect himself and threatened to dial 911. Her unrequited love had changed her from a sane, conscientious college teacher and radio reporter into someone she barely recognized—someone who had taken her yearning much too far. In Unrequited, Phillips explores the tremendous force of obsessive love in women’s lives. She argues that it needs to be understood, respected, and channeled for personal growth—yet it also has the potential to go terribly awry. Interweaving her own story with frank interviews and in-depth research in science, psychology, cultural history, and literature, Phillips describes how romantic obsession takes root, grows, and strongly influences our thoughts and behaviors. Going beyond images of creepy, fatally attracted psychos, male fantasies of unbridled female desire, and the platitudes of self-help books, Phillips offers compelling insights to help any woman who has experienced unrequited obsessive love and been mystified and troubled by its grip. “An ingenious hybrid of memoir, case study, scientific inquiry, and intellectual history not only of unrequited love but of Love, full stop, with a capital L.”—Washington Post “There is no cure for the pain of rejection, although researchers are working on it. Until then, Phillips suggests we ‘honor passion by confining and using it instead of letting it diminish us.’”—Chicago Tribune