Relationship specialist Lisa Brateman, LCSW offers couples strategies that will help them fight better so they can transform conflicts into conversations, in a book that Booklist says, "will likely help many couples.” What Are We Really Fighting About? How to Transform Conflicts into Conversations gives couples permission to fight. Because, after all, everyone does. They fight about loaded issues like financial infidelity and different ways of spending money, sexual infidelity, working too much, traveling too much, fighting too much, not being involved in childcare, interfering in-laws, levels of intimacy, routine sex or boring sex, body image, guilt, secrets, vulnerability, hopes, and fears. And the elephant in the room: Why won’t he/she /they change? We’re so conditioned to think that all fights and arguments are bad, but that isn’t true. This book shows couples that fighting can be productive if they learn to fight in a way that isn’t hurtful and shift away from entrenched patterns that aren’t working. It’s okay to feel angry with a partner and have a heated argument if couples fight with respect, acceptance, and love—and then reconcile differences and disagreements. What Are We Really Fighting About? shows couples exactly how to change sides—to understand their partners’ pain, to acknowledge and appreciate their perspective, and ultimately to create an environment where vulnerability is welcome. Many examples of couples who have successfully mastered the art of productive arguments will enable readers to use these techniques in their own relationships. As a result, readers will learn how to fight better by articulating what they need and what is possible, and then find ways to make conflict productive and healthy. Developing the skills to turn conflicts into conversations will open the space for understanding.

"Why are we willing to die for our countries? How can ideology persuade someone to blow themselves up? When we go to war, morality, religion and ideology often take the blame. But Mike Martin boldly argues that the opposite is true: rather than driving violence, these things help to reduce it. While we resort to ideas and values to justify or interpret warfare, something else is really propelling us towards conflict: our subconscious desires, shaped by millions of years of evolution.

Ultimate Fighting Championship and the present and future of women's sports Mixed martial arts stars like Amanda Nunes, Zhang Weili, and Ronda Rousey have made female athletes top draws in the Ultimate Fighting Championship (UFC). Jennifer McClearen charts how the promotion incorporates women into its far-flung media ventures and investigates the complexities surrounding female inclusion. On the one hand, the undeniable popularity of cards headlined by women add much-needed diversity to the sporting landscape. On the other, the UFC leverages an illusion of promoting difference—whether gender, racial, ethnic, or sexual—to grow its empire with an inexpensive and expendable pool of female fighters. McClearen illuminates how the UFC's half-hearted efforts at representation generate profit and cultural cachet while covering up the fact it exploits women of color, lesbians, gender non-conforming women, and others. Thought provoking and timely, Fighting Visibility tells the story of how a sports entertainment phenomenon made difference a part of its brand—and the ways women paid the price for success.

“A tightly written narrative history.” —Harvard magazine It was an enigma of the Vietnam War: American troops kept killing the Viet Cong—and were being killed in the process—and yet the Viet Cong's ranks continued to grow. When one man—CIA analyst Sam Adams—uncovered documents suggesting a Viet Cong army more than twice as numerous as previously reckoned, another war erupted, this time within the ranks of America's intelligence community. This clandestine conflict, which burst into public view during the acrimonious lawsuit Westmoreland v. CBS, involved the highest levels of the U.S. government. The central issue in the trial, as in the war itself, was the calamitous failure of our intelligence agencies to ascertain the strength of the Viet Cong and get that information to our troops in a timely fashion. The legacy of this failure—whether due to institutional inertia, misguided politics, or individual hubris—haunts our nation. And Sam Adams’ tireless crusade for “honest intelligence” resonates strongly today. To detractors like Richard Helms, Adams was an obsessive zealot; to others, he was a patriot of rare integrity and moral courage. Adams was the driving force behind the CBS ninety-minute documentary The Uncounted Enemy, produced by George Crile and hosted by Mike Wallace. Westmoreland brought a lawsuit seeking $120 million in damages against Adams and Wallace in what headlines around the country trumpeted as the libel trial of the century. Westmoreland dropped his suit before the case could be sent to the jury. Who the Hell Are We Fighting? is the first serious narrative history of Adams' controversial discovery of the Vietnam "numbers gap." Hiam's book is a timeless, cautionary tale that combines the best elements of biography, military history, and current affairs. Praise for Who the Hell Are We Fighting? “Hiam’s book offers a rich oral history relying upon the recollections of many key players, friend and foe alike, as well as Adams’s meticulous notes, court documents, and other relevant sources.” —Library Journal “In the late 1960s, CIA analyst Sam Adams was almost alone in showing what one honest person can do in the face of political and bureaucratic corruption that twisted the truth about America’s enemy strength during the ten-year war in Vietnam. Now, C. Michael Hiam provides new insight into Adams’s epic battle.” —Alex Beam, Newsday “In times of White House obfuscation, it’s a pleasure to be able to read about the candor—against all odds—of courageous patriots like Sam Adams.” —Mike Wallace “A definitive contribution to an understanding of the most acrimonious intelligence controversy of the Vietnam War.” —George W. Allen, author of None So Blind: A Personal Account of the Intelligence Failure in Vietnam “An excellent book…should bring [Sam Adams’s story] to the attention of many who know nothing of the passions or the conflicts of that time.” —Larry McMurtry “Take up this book and let Michael Hiam lead you toward a final understanding of how military and civilian intelligence failed us during the Vietnam War.” —John Rolfe Gardiner, author of Double Stitch For more about this and other books by Michael Hiam, visit thelafargeagency.com/book/who-the-hell-are-we-fighting/

Powerful tools for spreading peace in your community Unfounded beliefs and hateful political and social divisions that can cascade into violence are threatening to pull the world apart. Responding to fear and aggression strategically and with compassion is vital if we are to push back against the politics of hate and live in greater safety and harmony. But how to do it? Are We Done Fighting? is brimming with the latest research, practical activities, and inspirational stories of success for cultivating inner change and spreading peace at the community level and beyond. Coverage includes: An explanation of the different styles of conflict Cognitive biases that help explain polarized and lose-lose positions Practical methods and activities for changing our own and others' minds When punishment works and doesn't, and how to encourage discipline in children without using violence The skill of self-compassion and ways to reduce prejudice in ourselves and others Incredible programs that are rebuilding trust between people after genocide. Packed with inspiration and cutting-edge findings from fields including neuroscience, social psychology, and behavioural economics, Are We Done Fighting? is an essential toolkit for activists, community and peace groups, and students and instructors working to build dialogue, understanding, and peace as the antidote to the politics of hate and division. AWARDS SILVER | 2019 Nautilus Book Awards: Social Change & Social Justice

Born out of the excitement of a convergence of ideas and passions, this book provides a synthesis of the work of researchers, clinicians, and theoreticians who are leaders in the field of trauma, attachment, and psychotherapy. As we move into the third millennium, the field of mental health is in an exciting position to bring together diverse ideas from a range of disciplines that illuminate our understanding of human experience: neurobiology, developmental psychology, traumatology, and systems theory. The contributors emphasize the ways in which the social environment, including relationships of childhood, adulthood, and the treatment milieu change aspects of the structure of the brain and ultimately alter the mind.