Some readers may recognize their mothers as well as themselves in this book. They will also find specific suggestions for creating healthier relationships. Addressing the adult children of borderlines and the therapists who work with them, Dr. Lawson shows how to care for the waif without rescuing her, to attend to the hermit without feeding her fear, to love the queen without becoming her subject, and to live with the witch without becoming her victim.

Four character profiles describe different symptom clusters that include the waif mother, the hermit mother, the queen mother, and the witch." "Children of borderlines are at risk for developing this complex and devastating personality disorder themselves. Dr. Lawson's recommendations for prevention include empathic understanding of the borderline mother and early intervention with her children to ground them in reality and counteract the often dangerous effects of living with a "make-believe" mother.".

Those raised by a BPD parent endured a volatile and painful childhood. This book offers readers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person with this disorder. Readers discover coping strategies for dealing with low self-esteem, lack of trust, guilt, and hypersensitivity.

Breezy yet brainy, Empathy Lessons provides 30 compelling and actionable lessons in restoring and expanding empathy in relationships and emotional well-being, at home and at work, in parenting and in business, at school and in the private consulting room, in the corporate jungle and in the empathy desert, in the public market and in the intimacy of the bedroom. Empathy is oxygen for the soul. So if you are short of breath due to life stress, get the expanded empathy delivered in this book. Just as the body needs oxygen to live physically, the soul needs empathy to live emotionally. Most people are naturally empathic, but the cynicism and denial needed to survive everyday life drives empathy away. Remove the obstacles to empathy and empathy naturally develops and grows. That is the training in a nutshell without all the details, guidance, and practice needed to succeed. Find out how to take your empathy to the next level in this book. The empathy lessons in this book include how- To perform a readiness assessment; establish a set up for success in cleaning up inauthenticities that block empathy so that empathy can expand and flourish; Empathy is not an "on-off" switch but a tuner (dial or dimmer) that expands or contracts in accessing the vicarious experience of the other person; Empathy works as a method of data gathering about the other person, providing a vicarious experience of the other person without being flooded by the experience; Introspection, vicarious experience, listening to one's own "voice over" and radical acceptance are the royal road to empathic receptivity; Empathic receptivity overcomes emotional contagion, creating a set up for clear communication of feelings and experiences; Empathic understanding overcomes conformity and enables shifting out of stuckness into contribution, transformation, and leadership, including satisfying and flourishing relationships; Empathic interpretation overcomes projection and is the folk definition of empathy, walking in another's shoes, adding "top down" empathy to "bottom up," empathic receptivity; Empathic responsiveness drives out anger and rage, acting as a soothing balm to suffering and emotional upset, deescalating conflict and aggression; Scientific, peer-reviewed, evidence-based research confirms that empathy reduces inflammation and stress; Relationships get "weaponized" in bullying and, coming from empathy, how to overcome bullying, reestablishing boundaries: recommendations to students, teachers, administrators on how to stop bullying (including cyber-bullying) and promote empathy; Disorders of empathy such as Asperger's and autism and (in a different context) the psychopathic person, the "Natural Empath" (caught between nature and nurture), and (fully buzzword compliant) mirror neurons, are related to empathy; "Corporate empathy" is not a contradiction in terms, "CEO" now means "chief empathy officer," and empathy is now the ultimate "capitalist tool"; Empathy is the "secret sauce" in sexual satisfaction within an authentic relationship, featuring the desire of desire, the "good parts," and intimate engagements that are sustainable. Empathy Lessons put you back in touch with your empathy. Empathy lessons-not merely the title of the book, the actual practices-provide applications to tough cases. The applications give back to you your power in overcoming life's social stresses and the power to expand well-being in the face of emotional upset, handling difficult relationships, meeting business challenges in the corporate jungle and empathy desert, overcoming bullies and bullying, and applying and practicing empathy in sex and romance. Not a conventional self-help book, but a writerly, intermittently humorous, romp through empathic fields, you get 30 actionable recommendations. Feeling like you are thrown "under the bus" again and it's getting crowded under there? Get the empathy you need to fight back and flourish in this book.

The revised and expanded third edition of the bestselling guide to understanding borderline personality disorder—with advice for communicating with and helping the borderline individuals in your life. After more than three decades as the essential guide to borderline personality disorder (BPD), the third edition of I Hate You—Don’t Leave Me now reflects the most up-to-date research that has opened doors to the neurobiological, genetic, and developmental roots of the disorder, as well as connections between BPD and substance abuse, sexual abuse, post-traumatic stress syndrome, ADHD, and eating disorders. Both pharmacological and psychotherapeutic advancements point to real hope for success in the treatment and understanding of BPD. This expanded and revised edition is an invaluable resource for those diagnosed with BPD and their family, friends, and colleagues, as well as professionals and students in the field, and the practical tools and advice are easy to understand and use in your day-to-day interactions with the borderline individuals in your life.

Kathy Ewing knows what it's like to be raised by someone variously sullen, pleasant, angry, demanding, manipulative, engaging, and all the rest-sometimes changing from one mood to the next in a single conversation. In this personal memoir she writes of her memories from my childhood, in rough chronology, showing her mother's troubling behavior -the behavior that mystified her until she found a name for it, until she could put it in the context of Borderline Personality Disorder. The memoir shows how the diagnosis, the wrestling with her history, and the very writing of it have provided some comfort, if not healing.

Gentle counsel and realistic advice for families contending with one of today's most misunderstood forms of mental illness. For family members of people with Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD), home life is routinely unpredictable and frequently unbearable. Extreme mood swings, impulsive behaviors, unfair blaming and criticism, and suicidal tendencies--common conduct among those who suffer from the disorder--leave family members feeling confused, hurt, and helpless. In Stop Walking on Eggshells, Randi Kreger's pioneering first book which sold more than 340,000 copies, she and co-author Paul T. Mason outlined the fundamental differences in the way that people with BPD relate to the world. Now, with The Essential Family Guide to Borderline Personality Disorder, Kreger takes readers to the next level by offering them five straightforward tools to organize their thinking, learn specific skills, and focus on what they need to do to get off the emotional rollercoaster: (1) Take care of yourself; (2) Uncover what keeps you feeling stuck; (3) Communicate to be heard; (4) Set limits with love; and (5) Reinforce the right behaviors. Together the steps provide a clear-cut system designed to help friends and family reduce stress, improve their relationship with their borderline loved one, improve their problem-solving skills and minimize conflict, and feel more self-assured about setting limits.