You've heard of the lone ranger? I'm his brother hydrangea! The other night I dreamt I was eating a ten-pound marshmallow. When I woke up the pillow had gone! My wife just phoned me. She said, 'I've got water in the carburettor.' I said, 'Where's the car?' She said, 'In the river.' I said to the doctor, 'Doctor, I'm losing all sense of direction. What should I do?' He said, 'Get lost.' I've got a dog, you know. I have. He's a one-man dog. He only bites me. Tommy Cooper died on stage at Her Majesty's Theatre, London, twenty-five years ago in April 1984 and is still revered today as probably the greatest comedian of the second half of the 20th century. More than just a comedian, Tommy Cooper was a born entertainer. Working in a golden age of British comedy, Cooper stood - literally - head and shoulders above the crowd, and had a magical talent for humour that defied description. With a love of laughter stemming from a magic performance gone wrong when he was in his teens, Cooper enlisted in the army in 1939 and began to perfect his comic timing on his army colleagues in the Egyptian desert. The man with the fez was born.

My wife is a magician, yesterday she turned our car into a tree. A big white horse walks into a pub. The barman says, 'we have a drink named after you.' The horse says, 'what? Eric?' I said, 'waiter, what's that in my soup?' he said, 'I'd better call the boss, I can't tell one insect from another.' I'm reading a book called 'Sex Before 20'. Personally I don't like audiences. I said, 'it's serious, doctor, I've broken my arm in 20 places'. He said, 'well stop going to those places.' I call my car flattery. It gets me nowhere.

Presents jokes on the subjects that range from 'A for Absent-minded' to 'Z for Zoo'.

The irrepressible, hysterical, puntastical Tim Vine, star of stage and screen, treats all of us here in his first joke book. Packed full of zingers and hilarious illustrations, if this doesn't put a smile on your face, nothing will. What's not to like: The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my dressing room. I didn't know what to make of it. I'm against hunting. I'm actually a hunt saboteur. I go out the night before and shoot the fox. I saw this bloke chatting up a cheetah. He was trying to pull a fast one. Black holes. I don't know what people see in them. So I fancied a game of darts with my mate. He said, 'Nearest the bull goes first.' He went 'Baah' and I went 'Moo'. He said 'You're closest.' Velcro. What a rip-off. Black Beauty. He's a dark horse. I've got a sponge front door. Hey, don't knock it.

The first-ever joke book from one of the UK's best-loved comedians, Les Dawson's Joke Book is a must for any fan of this perennially popular comedian.

If you like a good joke (and we all know you do), then you'll get a kick out of this hilarious collection that pokes fun at all things Saskatchewan. With zingers that will tickle your funny bone, these good-natured jabs are just funny enough that they will leave you rolling in the aisles. The Great Saskatchewan Joke Book will literally make you laugh out loud. Joel Jeffrey believes that if you can't laugh at yourself, then who can you laugh at?

Laugh 'til it hurts, as Jethro reveals all in his hilarious live show. Jethro reveals all in his hilarious live show. Laugh 'til it hurts as Cornwall's best-loved comic takes a look at life -- as only he can! Discover the meaning of twernt't and find out what happened when Jethro's pal, Denzil Penberthy, popped into the clock shop! Featuring Jethro at his belly laugh best -- performing live -- plus a collection of cracking sketches, this is one portion of West Country wit you won't want to miss.