There are only two problems with the story of the English language: one, no hero. Two, not rude enough. In The Rude Story of English, recovering lexicographer Tom Howell swiftly remedies these and gives us a rousing account of our language – without all the boring bits and with all the interesting parts kept in – and reveals English’s boisterous, at times obnoxious, character. From a haphazard beginning in 449 AD, when a legendary, fearsome Germanic warrior named Hengest tripped and fell onto British shores, the real story of English has been rife with accident, physical comedy, phallic monuments, rude behaviour, dubious facts, and an alarming quantity of poetry written by lawyers. Across vast distances of space and time, from the language’s origins to its fast-approaching retirement, a moody and miraculously long-lived Hengest voyages to the pubs of Chaucer’s London, aboard pirate ships in the north Atlantic, to plantations in Barbados, bookstores in Jamaica, the chilly inlet of Quidi Vidi, Newfoundland, a private men’s club in Australia, and beyond. Part Monty Python sketch, part Oxford English Dictionary, The Rude Story of English displays an exuberant love of language and a sharp, anti-authoritarian sense of humour. Entertaining and informative, it looks at English through its most uncomfortable, colourful, and off-putting parts, chronicling the story of the language as it has never been told before.

Featuring Latinate and Celtic words, weasel words and nonce-words, ancient words ('loaf') to cutting edge ('twittersphere') and spanning the indispensable words that shape our tongue ('and', 'what') to the more fanciful ('fopdoodle'), Crystal takes us along the winding byways of language via the rude, the obscure and the downright surprising. In this unique new history of the world's most ubiquitous language, linguistics expert David Crystal draws on words that best illustrate the huge variety of sources, influences and events that have helped to shape our vernacular since the first definitively English word was written down in the fifth century ('roe', in case you are wondering).

Meet Mr. Mosquito, drawn from a Gypsy story. He's cantankerous and nasty enough to raise belly laughs along with the eyebrows of the polite. In a story inspired by Australian bush tales, we meet Ella and Bella, two hilarious (and flatulent) sisters. Angelina's earthy wit is memorialized in a story from Swahili tradition. The eight stories in Rude Stories have roots from Japan to Canada, from Africa to Eastern Europe, but they all share a sense of irreverence, and, because they are the work of a true storyteller, they beg to be read aloud, told aloud and shared. Francis Blake's hilarious askew art brings the characters to life in this spicy stew of international stories to satisfy every child's appetite for the deliciously absurd.

Tumford isn't really a terrible cat. It's just, like many children, Tum loves to make loud noises. But today, his parents are not in the mood. They have friends coming over and Tummy isn't just loud. No, Tumford is rude! This charming tale from the multiple New York Times bestselling author Nancy Tillman is sure to delight readers everywhere, as she once again reaffirms that – no matter how much trouble you may get into – you are loved.

A story about a rude cake who never says please or thank you or listens to its parents, and a Giant Cyclops who is polite.

Mr. Rude is the rudest man you'll ever meet. When Mr. Happy notices how awful Mr. Rude is being, he sets out to teach him a lesson in etiquette.

Join Dot and Duck in a simple, yet hilarious, story about kindness, manners, and friendship that gets more and more chaotic with every turn of the page! Dot invites Duck to a tea party, but from the moment Duck enters the house, the tea party descends into chaos; from licking sandwich fillings to spitting tea, Duck gets ruder...and ruder...and ruder. Just how will Dot react to such outrageous behavior? Simple, funny, and ultimately touching, this book will appeal to any child who is learning what it is not to be rude and, more importantly, what it is to be a true friend.