Social psychology has made great advancements in understanding how our romantic relationships function and to some extent, dissolve. However, the social and behavioral sciences in much of western scholarship often focus exclusively on the more positive aspects of intimate relationships--and less so on more controversial or unconventional aspects. The goal of this volume is to explore and illuminate some of these underrepresented aspects: aspects such as non-monogamy, female orgasm, sadism, and hate, that often function alongside love in intimate relationships. Ultimately, by looking at intimate relationships in this way, the volume contributes to and advocates for a more holistic and comprehensive view of intimate relationships. Throughout the volume, contributors from social, clinical, and evolutionary psychology cover love and hate from a variety of (sometimes opposing) perspectives. The first section, covers love and the changing landscape of intimate relationships. Its chapters review the current literature and research of understudied topics like non-monogamy, female orgasm, sexual fantasies, and the viewpoint of love as something other than positive. The second section explores hate and how hate can operate in intimate relationships--for example, the appearance of sadistic behavior and debates the nature of hate as either a motivation or emotion. The volume concludes, by looking at ways in which the appearance of hate in relationships can be dealt with and overcome successfully. Taken together, these two sections reflect the full variety of experiences within intimate relationships. With the aim of exploring how love and hate can-and frequently do-work together, The Psychology of Love and Hate in Intimate Relationships is a fascinating psychological exploration of intimate relationships in modern times. It is an invaluable resource to academics and students specializing in psychology, gender, and sociology, including clinicians and therapists, and all those interested in increasing our knowledge of intimate relationships.

Under what circumstances can love generate moral reasons for action? Are there morally appropriate ways to love? Can an occurrence of love or a failure to love constitute a moral failure? Is it better to love morally good people? This volume explores the moral dimensions of love through the lenses of political philosophy, psychology, and neuroscience. It attempts to discern how various social norms affect our experience and understanding of love, how love, relates to other affective states such as emotions and desires, and how love influences and is influenced by reason. What love is affects what love ought to be. Conversely, our ideas of what love ought to be partly determined by our conception of what love is.

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This is a much-needed update on the latest theory and research on love supplied by leading scientific experts. It is suitable for psychologists, neuroscientists, anthropologists, sociologists, and anyone with an interest in love and what has been learned from scientific studies of it.

Few of us have been spared the agonies of intimate relationships. They come in many shapes: loving a man or a woman who will not commit to us, being heartbroken when we're abandoned by a lover, engaging in Sisyphean internet searches, coming back lonely from bars, parties, or blind dates, feeling bored in a relationship that is so much less than we had envisaged - these are only some of the ways in which the search for love is a difficult and often painful experience. Despite the widespread and almost collective character of these experiences, our culture insists they are the result of faulty or insufficiently mature psyches. For many, the Freudian idea that the family designs the pattern of an individual's erotic career has been the main explanation for why and how we fail to find or sustain love. Psychoanalysis and popular psychology have succeeded spectacularly in convincing us that individuals bear responsibility for the misery of their romantic and erotic lives. The purpose of this book is to change our way of thinking about what is wrong in modern relationships. The problem is not dysfunctional childhoods or insufficiently self-aware psyches, but rather the institutional forces shaping how we love. The argument of this book is that the modern romantic experience is shaped by a fundamental transformation in the ecology and architecture of romantic choice. The samples from which men and women choose a partner, the modes of evaluating prospective partners, the very importance of choice and autonomy and what people imagine to be the spectrum of their choices: all these aspects of choice have transformed the very core of the will, how we want a partner, the sense of worth bestowed by relationships, and the organization of desire. This book does to love what Marx did to commodities: it shows that it is shaped by social relations and institutions and that it circulates in a marketplace of unequal actors.

We've all been there – the family dinners turned full-fledged political debates, the awkward chat in the kitchen at work, the difficulty of discussing politics on a first date or even at dinner with a long-time partner. Today's divisive climate – and the seemingly neverending circus of Brexit – has made discussion of current events uncomfortable and often uncivil. So, how exactly do we find ways to reach across the aisle to those whose views we find unpalatable? Psychotherapist and lifetime liberal Jeanne Safer hopes to shed some light on the situation. Combining her professional expertise with personal experience gleaned from over forty years of happy marriage to her stalwart conservative husband Richard Brookhiser, as well as a wealth of interviews with politically mixed couples, Safer offers frank advice for salvaging and strengthening relationships strained by political differences. Part relationship guide, part anthropological study, I Love You, But I Hate Your Politics is a helpful and entertaining how-to for anyone who has felt they are walking on eggshells in these increasingly uncertain times.

A behavioral scientist explores love, belongingness, and fulfillment, focusing on how modern technology can both help and hinder our need to connect. A Next Big Idea Club nominee. Millions of people around the world are not getting the physical, emotional, and intellectual intimacy they crave. Through the wonders of modern technology, we are connecting with more people more often than ever before, but are these connections what we long for? Pandemic isolation has made us even more alone. In Out of Touch, Professor of Psychology Michelle Drouin investigates what she calls our intimacy famine, exploring love, belongingness, and fulfillment and considering why relationships carried out on technological platforms may leave us starving for physical connection. Drouin puts it this way: when most of our interactions are through social media, we are taking tiny hits of dopamine rather than the huge shots of oxytocin that an intimate in-person relationship would provide. Drouin explains that intimacy is not just sex—although of course sex is an important part of intimacy. But how important? Drouin reports on surveys that millennials (perhaps distracted by constant Tinder-swiping) have less sex than previous generations. She discusses pandemic puppies, professional cuddlers, the importance of touch, “desire discrepancy” in marriage, and the value of friendships. Online dating, she suggests, might give users too many options; and the internet facilitates “infidelity-related behaviors.” Some technological advances will help us develop and maintain intimate relationships—our phones, for example, can be bridges to emotional support. Some, on the other hand, might leave us out of touch. Drouin explores both of these possibilities.