The Government Manual for New Wizards

The Government Manual for New Wizards
Title The Government Manual for New Wizards PDF eBook
Author Matthew David Brozik
Publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing
Pages 196
Release 2009-01-01
Genre Humor
ISBN 0740789120

Download The Government Manual for New Wizards Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

The comedic duo behind The Government Manual for New Superheroes is back, and this time they've brought their magic wands and enchanted artifacts. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures. Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or sneakers), and other otherworldly accoutrements--it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority. This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as: * A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it--provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all. * When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does. The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.

The Government Manual for New Superheroes

The Government Manual for New Superheroes
Title The Government Manual for New Superheroes PDF eBook
Author Matthew David Brozik
Publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing
Pages 161
Release 2009-01-01
Genre Humor
ISBN 0740789090

Download The Government Manual for New Superheroes Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

The government provides manuals for new home-owners and new motor vehicle operators, but what's a new superhero to do? Ka-POW! The Government Manual for New Superheroes rushes in to save the day! The Government Manual for New Superheroes is a hilarious, mock-official handbook that offers thorough, accessible, and completely zany advice for anyone who has always dreamed of donning a skintight spandex uniform and leaping across the rooftops of their cities. Going well beyond tights and capes, this manual provides insight into choosing a name, constructing a costume, choosing the right supertools of the supertrade, establishing a base of operations, maintaining a secret identity, taking or becoming a sidekick, joining a superheroic team, and even finding that special someone who gives meaning to a superhero's life--a nemesis. Extra features include a roster of superhero unions, a registration application, several useful charts and tips, and even a list of other government-sponsored periodicals for further reading. Destined to become a cult classic, The Government Manual for New Superheroes is an essential guide for every aspiring superhero.

The Government Manual for New Pirates

The Government Manual for New Pirates
Title The Government Manual for New Pirates PDF eBook
Author Matthew David Brozik
Publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing
Pages 144
Release 2009-01-01
Genre Humor
ISBN 0740789236

Download The Government Manual for New Pirates Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

There be no callin' 'dibs' in piratin'. Booty be divided among the crew, from the lowest deckswabber to the highest masthand. So says the Pirate Code." --Calico Jack Rackham, king of the pirates * Enjoy a witty mock-official handbook for potential pirates and plunderers. Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those uber-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.

The Ultimate Guide to the Harry Potter Fandom

The Ultimate Guide to the Harry Potter Fandom
Title The Ultimate Guide to the Harry Potter Fandom PDF eBook
Author Erin Anne Pyne
Publisher What The Flux Comics Publis
Pages 329
Release 2010
Genre Fans (Persons)
ISBN 1450745601

Download The Ultimate Guide to the Harry Potter Fandom Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

How Not to Kill Your Baby

How Not to Kill Your Baby
Title How Not to Kill Your Baby PDF eBook
Author Jacob Sager Weinstein
Publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing
Pages 137
Release 2012-03-20
Genre Family & Relationships
ISBN 1449409911

Download How Not to Kill Your Baby Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

This tongue-in-cheek parenting book is a hilarious parody of every fear-mongering, crazy-making pregnancy and parenting manual parents have ever cringed over.

Alice + Freda Forever

Alice + Freda Forever
Title Alice + Freda Forever PDF eBook
Author Alexis Coe
Publisher Millbrook Press
Pages 280
Release 2019-08-01
Genre Young Adult Nonfiction
ISBN 1541581679

Download Alice + Freda Forever Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

Alice + Freda Forever is a gut-wrenching story of love, death, and the dangers of intolerance."—Bustle In 1892, America was obsessed with a teenage murderess, but it wasn't her crime that shocked the nation—it was her motivation. Nineteen-year-old Alice Mitchell had planned to pass as a man in order to marry her seventeen-year-old fiancée Freda Ward, but when their love letters were discovered, they were forbidden from ever speaking again. Freda adjusted to this fate with an ease that stunned a heartbroken Alice. Her desperation grew with each unanswered letter—and her father's razor soon went missing. On January 25, Alice publicly slashed her ex-fiancée's throat. Her same-sex love was deemed insane by her father that very night, and medical experts agreed: This was a dangerous and incurable perversion. As the courtroom was expanded to accommodate national interest, Alice spent months in jail—including the night that three of her fellow prisoners were lynched (an event which captured the attention of journalist and civil rights activist Ida B. Wells). After a jury of "the finest men in Memphis" declared Alice insane, she was remanded to an asylum, where she died under mysterious circumstances just a few years later. Alice + Freda Forever recounts this tragic, real-life love story with over 100 illustrated love letters, maps, artifacts, historical documents, newspaper articles, courtroom proceedings, and intimate, domestic scenes.

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking

A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking
Title A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking PDF eBook
Author T. Kingfisher
Publisher
Pages
Release 2020-07-21
Genre
ISBN 9781614505242

Download A Wizard's Guide to Defensive Baking Book in PDF, Epub and Kindle

Fourteen-year-old Mona isn't like the wizards charged with defending the city. She can't control lightning or speak to water. Her familiar is a sourdough starter and her magic only works on bread. She has a comfortable life in her aunt's bakery making gingerbread men dance.But Mona's life is turned upside down when she finds a dead body on the bakery floor. An assassin is stalking the streets of Mona's city, preying on magic folk, and it appears that Mona is his next target. And in an embattled city suddenly bereft of wizards, the assassin may be the least of Mona's worries¿