West Ham United players and managers have kept us entertained with some truly mad, wacky and often outrageous sound bites over the years. In this comprehensive collection, author Gordon Law has compiled more than 200 side-splitting quotes and quips from the men of east London.Packed with loads of bonkers remarks, wise-cracks, verbal volleys and mixed metaphors, this book will have West Ham fans chuckling throughout the season. "The man who comes to take care of my piranhas tells me he will kill all my fish if I leave West Ham."Paolo Di Canio "Even the chef's been out for two weeks with a hernia."Alan Curbishley "As for eating baked beans at breakfast time, they can trigger off a violent reaction."Herita Ilunga "Hopefully Andy has only tweeted his hamstring."Sam Allardyce

Playing sport, watching it and commentating on it have all provoked endless mirth and some unforgettable rhetorical flourishes, the best and most enduring of which can be found here in the sparkling Biteback Dictionary of Humorous Sporting Quotations. Fred Metcalf has collected these laugh-out-loud funny contributions from the world of (mostly) athletic competition. Sardonic observations and unintended gaffes connected by a love (and sometimes hate) of anything from Cricket to Climbing and Fishing to Football make this book an essential companion for anyone with even a passing interest in the hobbies and games that we call 'sports'.

This hilarious collection of humorous quotations, full of wisecracks and wit, snappy comments and inspired fantasy, has been specially compiled by the late broadcaster and raconteur Ned Sherrin, with a foreword by leading British satirist, Alistair Beaton. Now packed with even more quotes and covering more subjects than before, from Weddings to the Supernatural, Australia to Headlines. Find the best lines from your favourite jokesters and wordsmiths, add that extra something to a speech or presentation, or just enjoy a good laugh. 'A chair is a piece of furniture. I am not a chair because no one has ever sat on me.' Ann Widdecombe on the announcement that Parliamentary language will now be gender-neutral. 'No wonder Bob Geldof is such an expert on famine. He's been feeding off 'I don't like Mondays' for 30 years.' Russell Brand On deciding to run for governor of California: 'The most difficult decision I've ever made in my entire life, except for the one in 1978 when I decided to get a bikini wax.' Arnold Schwarzenegger 'Wanting to know an author because you like his work is like wanting to know a duck because you like p--acirc--;t--eacute--;.' Margaret Atwood 'I am so sorry. We have to stop there. I have just come to the end of my personality.' Quentin Crisp, closing down an interview

The greatest football quotations collection ever, now in its ninth edition. This compilation includes quotes from everyone – Shakespeare to Suarez, Camus to Cantona, Busby to Beckham – who has made an apt, pithy or comical comment about football. And not just footballers and managers either – fans, pundits, groundsmen, directors and wives all get to have their say too. Every subject is covered, from tactical debates to changing lifestyles, to produce a sometimes hilarious and always thought-provoking commentary on the game. ‘My players are always the best players in the world, even if they aren’t’ - José Mourinho ‘He was a quiet man, Eric Cantona, but he was a man of few words’ - David Beckham ‘Sometimes when you aim for the stars you hit the moon’ - Ian Holloway

You'll need this thoughtful and entertaining assembly of conservative quotations if you're at all keen on politics. With more than 2,000 key quotes, this authoritative collection contains all the best conservatives and their sayings, whether they were standing up for what's right or standing up to the left, showing off their wit or showing that their foes were witless. It's got all the big names: everyone from Aquinas to Bagehot, Churchill to Cameron, Shakespeare to Thatcher. In The Dictionary of Conservative Quotations you'll find humour (Quayle) and inspiration (Burke), political punches (Hague) and ancient wisdom (Aristotle), all wrapped up into one slick, easy-to-use compendium. This book makes a vital reference source for anyone who cares for politics or the Conservatives and is a must-have for everyone with an interest in conservative thought.

When Arsene Wenger was appointed as manager by Arsenal Football Club in 1996, football fans everywhere gave a puzzled look and asked, 'who?' They were soon to find out just what kind of man had become a part of English football, as Wenger added to Arsenal's first Double win by leading them to another in 1998 and a third in 2002. Since then, he has amused and entertained with his erudition and always pertinent evaluations of Arsenal's merits and those of the game in general. Here are the most diverting and most intriguing comments of manager Arsene Wenger.

West Ham United On This Day chronicles, in diary form, the major events in the club’s history. With individual entries for every day, and multiple listings for more historic and busier days, the book includes all the club's big matches, promotions, cup runs, significant events, and sensational signings.