The Sports Page As You've Never Seen It Before From painfully obvious steroid revelations to sex scandals and superstars who announce trades in over-the-top TV specials, the wide world of sports can often seem too ridiculous for words. Well, attention sports fans: In The Ecstasy of Defeat, the editors of The Onion offer the laugh-out-loud funny and long overdue lampoon of sports culture you've been waiting for. Filled with the very best of The Onion's bench-clearing sports coverage, this book includes such classics as: Lip-Reading BCS Computer Kills Officials Who Want To Shut It Down Barry Bonds Took Steroids, Reports Everyone Who Has Ever Watched Baseball. Report: Cheap Chinese NBA Players Falling Apart After A Few Seasons. Barbaro's Doctors: "A Horse This Good You Don't Eat All At Once." Lance Armstrong Wants To Tell Nation Something But Nation Has To Promise Not To Get Mad. No topic escapes the satirical slap of America's Finest News Source, and the book covers not only mainstream sports--such as baseball, basketball, and football--but also lesser sports, sports culture, and special events like the World Cup and the Olympics. Featuring all the players, teams, and sports we love--and love to hate--The Ecstasy of Defeat is a must-read for sports nuts and Onion fans alike.

Presents humorous and satirical newspaper headlines and articles relating to popular sports, including baseball, football, soccer, and horse racing, lampooning the sports' players, teams, fans, and media coverage.

*This is the finale of the Guardians and the Realms series and is not meant to be read as a standalone title* As the ruling God of Thule, Hroarr's priority is the survival of his world. Gifted with the ancient ability of sj�, he has seen the birth and destruction of hundreds of worlds. This incredible power comes at an enormous cost, yet its toll seems to ease in the presence of a hauntingly seductive healer from Earth. Sirena's life is comprised of duty. Duty to her Guardian family, to healing those of her world and, most of all, the overwhelming duty to right the wrongs of her secret and vile bloodline. With everything on her plate a ruthless warlord God from another world is the last thing she needs, no matter what fate and her heated body demands. Will a dark Destroyer of Worlds bring upon the end of Earth and Thule or will two strong-minded beings fight and discover their own eternal ecstasy? Warning: Take one possessive, dirty talking Warrior God and one smart, no nonsense Healer; combine and shake things up for explosive results and scorching content meant for mature audiences!

In That's Gotta Hurt, the orthopaedist David Geier shows how sports medicine has had a greater impact on the sports we watch and play than any technique or concept in coaching or training. Injuries among professional and college athletes have forced orthopaedic surgeons and other healthcare providers to develop new surgeries, treatments, rehabilitation techniques, and prevention strategies. In response to these injuries, sports themselves have radically changed their rules, mandated new equipment, and adopted new procedures to protect their players. Parents now openly question the safety of these sports for their children and look for ways to prevent the injuries they see among the pros. The influence that sports medicine has had in effecting those changes and improving both the performance and the health of the athletes has been remarkable. Through the stories of a dozen athletes whose injuries and recovery advanced the field (including Joan Benoit, Michael Jordan, Brandi Chastain, and Tommy John), Dr. Geier explains how sports medicine makes sports safer for the pros, amateurs, student-athletes, and weekend warriors alike. That's Gotta Hurt is a fascinating and important book for all athletes, coaches, and sports fans.

Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

Irving Stone's powerful and passionate biographical novel of Michelangelo. His time: the turbulent Renaissance, the years of poisoning princes, warring popes, the all-powerful Medici family, the fanatic monk Savonarola. His loves: the frail and lovely daughter of Lorenzo de Medici; the ardent mistress of Marco Aldovrandi; and his last love - his greatest love - the beautiful, unhappy Vittoria Colonna. His genius: a God-driven fury from which he wrested the greatest art the world has ever known. Michelangelo Buonarotti, creator of David, painter of the Sistine ceiling, architect of the dome of St Peter's, lives once more in the tempestuous, powerful pages of Irving Stone's marvellous book.