My mate told me that I just don't understand irony. Which was ironic because we were at a bus stop at the time. A dyslexic man walks into a bra. An onion just told me a joke. I don't know whether to laugh or cry. A priest, a rabbi and a blind man walk into a bar and the bartender says, 'What is this, some kind of joke?' I got chatting to a lumberjack in a pub. He seemed like a decent feller. I'll never forget what my granddad said to me just before he kicked the bucket. He said, 'Grandson, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?' Whether told in the rugby clubs of Wales or the gentlemen's clubs of London, their sharpness and simplicity unites us all. Short, sweet and wickedly clever, they hold a special place in the annals of comedy, and as the Twitter age heralds a resurrection of the art form, there seems no better time to celebrate the immortal one-liner. In this riveting read, Times diary columnist Grant Tucker does just that, bringing together 5,000 of the funniest one-liners ever told in one definitive volume. Laugh-out-loud funny, 5,000 Great One-Liners has all the quips, zingers, puns and wisecracks you'll ever need - and a whole lot more.

Would you like to be the smartest person in the room? These 1000 one-liners will make you the wittiest one people have ever met. The Book of Witty One-liners can: * Help you break the ice in any situation * Make you look the sharpest * Project you as the funniest * Attract people through your continuous one-liners * Give you a happy time reading them The Book of Witty One-liners is the p(h)unniest, wittiest, and the most hilarious compilation of one-liners that is sure to get your gut-busting. If you like to laugh your way to hilarity, have endless one-liners up your sleeve, then you'll love Manhardeep Singh's one-liners book. Buy The Book of Witty One-liners and have a hearty laugh!

A collection of 10,000 side-splitting one-line jokes arranged in categories from bestselling humour editor Geoff Tibballs. 'Is my wife dissatisfied with my body? A small part of me says yes.' 'Letting the cat out of the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back in.' 'I read somewhere that 26 is too old to still live with your parents. It was on a note, in my room.'

Gagged and Bound is a riotous, rapid-fire collection of over 500 original gags written by pun-loving jokesmith Nick Jones. With a mixture of witty one-liners, playful puns and dubious dad jokes, coupled with some great visual gags illustrated by Tiffany Sheely, Gagged and Bound will leave you grinning like a maniac – so probably best not to read it while travelling on public transport. "It’s what it says on the tin: a succession of one-liners, puns and dad jokes going at your laughing muscles in a joyously pell-mell, headlong way. It’s irresistible." - The Bookbag "I would recommend this book to anyone looking for a joke book that’s varied and full of easy one-liners." - Reader’s Favorite "This is a very funny book" - Red City Review Jokes include: When I’m in the kitchen with my wife and I ask her for the sieve, she always throws it at me. She’s pass-sieve aggressive. What happens when herbs get into debt? They receive a visit from the bay leaf. Every dog has its day. It’s called International Dog Day. I’ve written a self-help book for people trying to lose weight but it hasn’t been very successful. It’s called Help Yourself.

A stupendous collection of quotes, quips, epigrams, witticisms, and humorous comments. For personal enjoyment and ready reference.

Over 1,000 jokes, 96 drawings. Index. "Gr.4-6. A gigantic compendium of rib-tickling, giggle-inspiring one liners, puns, funny stories, put-downs...Clever and witty."--SLJ. "True kid appeal."--Learning. 256 pages, b/w illus. throughout, 5 3/8 x 8 1/4.