Koos is sitting in a bar. Each time he orders a drink he takes out his wallet, removes a photograph and stares at it. ‘Who’s the photo of?’ asks the barman, serving Koos his eighth Klippies and Coke. ‘My wife. When she starts to look pretty I’ll know I’ve had enough.’ What’s the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead rugby referee in the road? There are skid marks in front of the dog. WARNING: Not for the faint-hearted or Mother Grundys of this world! Politically incorrect, irreverent and laugh-out-loud funny, The Big Fat South African Joke Book covers a range of topics close to every South African’s heart: from Patricia Lewis to Robert Mugabe; from rugby referees to Kamp Staaldraad; from picking up chicks to marriage; from infidelity to divorce; from Little Bongani to Little Koos and Little Gertruide; from school days to Varsity; and from the mouth of babes to the Pearly Gates of Heaven. These and many other jokes will tickle your funny bone and keep you chuckling for hours.

The book that will tickle the funny bone of all South African children, both young and old. The Big, Fat South African Kiddies’ Joke Book contains jokes of all shapes and sizes, from knock-knock jokes to one-liners and old-time classics. There are short jokes, and longer jokes, and questions and silly answers. There are animals that can talk, children who outfox grown-ups, jokes about teachers and learners, sport and computers, the precious (and hilarious) things children say, and much, much more. The Big, Fat South African Kiddies’ Joke Book is guaranteed to put a big smile on every child’s dial, whether they are seven or seventy!

Customer Loyalty Isn't Enough—Grow Your Share of Wallet The Wallet Allocation Rule is a revolutionary, definitive guide for winning the battle for share of customers' hearts, minds, and wallets. Backed by rock-solid science published in the Harvard Business Review and MIT Sloan Management Review, this landmark book introduces a new and rigorously tested approach—the Wallet Allocation Rule—that is proven to link to the most important measure of customer loyalty: share of wallet. Companies currently spend billions of dollars each year measuring and managing metrics like customer satisfaction and Net Promoter Score (NPS) to improve customer loyalty. These metrics, however, have almost no correlation to share of wallet. As a result, the returns on investments designed to improve the customer experience are frequently near zero, even negative. With The Wallet Allocation Rule, managers finally have the missing link to business growth within their grasp—the ability to link their existing metrics to the share of spending that customers allocate to their brands. Learn why improving satisfaction (or NPS) does not improve share. Apply the Wallet Allocation Rule to discover what really drives customer spending. Uncover new metrics that really matter to achieve growth. By applying the Wallet Allocation Rule, managers get real insight into the money they currently get from their customers, the money available to be earned by them, and what it takes to get it. The Wallet Allocation Rule provides managers with a blueprint for sustainable long-term growth.

All by writers who spent their formative years in South Africa, this diverse range of short stories spans from the end of World War II when the National Party was on the upsurge, to the early 1990s when the legal framework of apartheid was abolished, the ANC was legalized and Mandela was released.

Move over P.J. O'Rourke! From Al Franken, America's premier liberal satirist, comes a hilarious homage to the wonderful, awful, and always absurd American political process that skewers a whole new crop of presidential hopefuls--just in time for the 1996 presidential election. "(Franken is) responsible in part for some of the most brilliant political satire of our time".--John Podhoretz, New York Post.