"It's the perfect present for that rich granny with a heart condition." "This book will give you the best chat in the pub, dazzle dates in fancy restaurants, and provide endless family entertainment at Christmas." "Just what the doctor ordered. Funny as hell from start to finish." This book is a selection of some of the best jokes which have been hand picked from a collection of over 300,000 jokes from Sickipedia - the world's top joke website. The jokes contained within these pages are sick, rude, politically incorrect, offensive, obscene and in some cases Just Wrong, but the end results are Funny and Hilarious. All of the jokes are submitted by the general public to Sickipedia. Every time there is a big story - say a murder or a disaster, following the news comes the jokes. Psychologists probably have something to say about this, but not us, we just want to be the number one place for finding, recording and disseminating this material. WARNING: The content of this book is packed full of inappropriate material. It is definitely NOT suitable for children or the easily offended. Within these pages are jokes about religion, racism, crime and illegal sex acts. Remember what you read are not points of view; they are just jokes - nothing more! Here's a selection of what topics to expect! Some Top Jokes The Sickipedia 10 Commandments Crime The Police Sex Crimes Drink & Drugs Theft Murder Other Crimes What Not to Say on a First Date Illness and Mortality Cancer AIDS & Other STD's Alzheimer/Dementia Disabilities Death The Sickipedians Guide to Britishness Racism The British Chavs, Pikeys and Gypsies The Scottish The Welsh The Irish Europe Americans Asian Indians & Pakistanis Black Excuses for being late Religion Christianity Catholics Jewish Other Religions Good news. Bad News Sex and Shit Sex The Wife Blondes The Rules! Other Football Wordplay One-Liners Misunderstandings Limericks

This joke book presents the jokes you might be afraid to repeat to your closest friends, totally uncensored and illustrated.

* Instant NEW YORK TIMES and USA TODAY bestseller * * GOODREADS CHOICE AWARD WINNER for BEST DEBUT and BEST ROMANCE of 2019 * * BEST BOOK OF THE YEAR* for VOGUE, NPR, VANITY FAIR, and more! * What happens when America's First Son falls in love with the Prince of Wales? When his mother became President, Alex Claremont-Diaz was promptly cast as the American equivalent of a young royal. Handsome, charismatic, genius—his image is pure millennial-marketing gold for the White House. There's only one problem: Alex has a beef with the actual prince, Henry, across the pond. And when the tabloids get hold of a photo involving an Alex-Henry altercation, U.S./British relations take a turn for the worse. Heads of family, state, and other handlers devise a plan for damage control: staging a truce between the two rivals. What at first begins as a fake, Instragramable friendship grows deeper, and more dangerous, than either Alex or Henry could have imagined. Soon Alex finds himself hurtling into a secret romance with a surprisingly unstuffy Henry that could derail the campaign and upend two nations and begs the question: Can love save the world after all? Where do we find the courage, and the power, to be the people we are meant to be? And how can we learn to let our true colors shine through? Casey McQuiston's Red, White & Royal Blue proves: true love isn't always diplomatic. "I took this with me wherever I went and stole every second I had to read! Absorbing, hilarious, tender, sexy—this book had everything I crave. I’m jealous of all the readers out there who still get to experience Red, White & Royal Blue for the first time!" - Christina Lauren, New York Times bestselling author of The Unhoneymooners "Red, White & Royal Blue is outrageously fun. It is romantic, sexy, witty, and thrilling. I loved every second." - Taylor Jenkins Reid, New York Times bestselling author of Daisy Jones & The Six

Puffin Classics: the definitive collection of timeless stories, for every child. Tom tucked a blanket round him, drew up a chair by the fire and watched Willie fall asleep. The tales he had heard about evacuees didn't seem to fit Willie. 'Ungrateful' and 'wild' were the adjectives he had heard used, or just plain 'homesick'. He was quite unprepared for this timid, sickly little specimen. Britain, 1940. With World War Two raging all around, young children are being sent from their homes in the city to the countryside for safety. When eight-year-old Willie Beech first arrives on Tom Oakley's doorstep, neither are quite sure what to make of each another. Brought up in terrible poverty, Willie is terribly shy, and totally unprepared for village life - but the gruff-but-gentle 'Mister Tom' quickly takes him under his wing. Neither he nor Willie could ever have predicted the journey they will go on together - nor the unbreakable bond that will be formed. Winner of the Guardian Children's Fiction Award, and rightly hailed as a true classic of children's literature, Goodnight Mister Tom is a beautifully told, deeply moving story about the power of friendship, kindness, hope - and love. 'Everyone's idea of a smash-hit novel: full-blown characters to love and hate, moments of grief and joy, and a marvellous story that knows just how to grab the emotions' - Guardian

INSTANT #1 BESTSELLER FINALIST for the 2021 National Jewish Book Awards SHORTLISTED for the 2022 Rakuten Kobo Emerging Writer Prize A collection of funny personal essays from one of the writers of Superbad and Pineapple Express and one of the producers of The Disaster Artist, Neighbors, and The Boys. (All of these words have been added to help this book show up in people’s searches using the wonders of algorithmic technology. Thanks for bearing with us!) Hi! I’m Seth! I was asked to describe my book, Yearbook, for the inside flap (which is a gross phrase) and for websites and shit like that, so… here it goes!!! Yearbook is a collection of true stories that I desperately hope are just funny at worst, and life-changingly amazing at best. (I understand that it’s likely the former, which is a fancy “book” way of saying “the first one.”) I talk about my grandparents, doing stand-up comedy as a teenager, bar mitzvahs, and Jewish summer camp, and tell way more stories about doing drugs than my mother would like. I also talk about some of my adventures in Los Angeles, and surely say things about other famous people that will create a wildly awkward conversation for me at a party one day. I hope you enjoy the book should you buy it, and if you don’t enjoy it, I’m sorry. If you ever see me on the street and explain the situation, I’ll do my best to make it up to you.

Part novel, part journal, part snippets of conversation overheard on the tube, part collection of drawings of Kevin Spacey and Condaleeza Rice, this diary tells a year in the life of The Man Who Fell Asleep - artist, thinker, writer, North Londoner, and alter-ego of Greg Stekelman.

A treasury of irreverent, politically incorrect, and wholly distasteful jokes represents top-selected submissions to the b3ta.com Web site, in a volume that is complemented by equally biting illustrations. Original.