Moving beyond the narrow clinical perspective sometimes applied to viewing the emotional and developmental risks to battered children, this book, offers a view that takes into account the complex ways in which a batterer's abusive and controlling behaviors are woven into the fabric of daily life. This book is a guide for therapists, child protective workers, family and juvenile court personnel, and other human service providers in addressing the complex impact that batterers -- specifically, male batterers of a domestic partner when there are children in the household -- have on family functioning.

Examines the emotional trauma to children of battered women, and shows how partner abuse affects each relationship in the family.

Written by a therapist who specializes in abusive men, this guide reveals how abusers interact with and manipulate children—and how mothers can help their children recover from the trauma of witnessing abuse. Can my partner abuse me and still be a good parent? Should I stay with my partner for my children's sake? How should I talk to my children about the abuse and help them heal? Am I a bad mother? Mothers in physically or emotionally abusive relationships ask themselves these questions every day. Whether it’s physical or “just” emotional abuse, whether it’s aimed at them or you, whether they see or hear it, your kids need you. This book, the first ever of its kind, shows mothers how to: • Protect children and help them heal emotionally • Provide love, support, and positive role models, even in the midst of abuse • Increase their chances of winning custody • Help their kids feel good about themselves “A must-read for every mother who has been abused...it offers the knowledge women need to protect their children and help them heal.”—William S. Pollack, Ph.D., author of the national bestseller Real Boys

In this groundbreaking bestseller, Lundy Bancroft—a counselor who specializes in working with abusive men—uses his knowledge about how abusers think to help women recognize when they are being controlled or devalued, and to find ways to get free of an abusive relationship. He says he loves you. So...why does he do that? You’ve asked yourself this question again and again. Now you have the chance to see inside the minds of angry and controlling men—and change your life. In Why Does He Do That? you will learn about: • The early warning signs of abuse • The nature of abusive thinking • Myths about abusers • Ten abusive personality types • The role of drugs and alcohol • What you can fix, and what you can’t • And how to get out of an abusive relationship safely “This is without a doubt the most informative and useful book yet written on the subject of abusive men. Women who are armed with the insights found in these pages will be on the road to recovering control of their lives.”—Jay G. Silverman, Ph.D., Director, Violence Prevention Programs, Harvard School of Public Health

Traumatic Divorce and Separation integrates the conflicting mental health perspectives concerning trauma theory and the study of divorce, in what the author has termed "traumatic divorce" -- that is, divorce complicated by the high-risk factors of domestic violence, mental illness, and/or substance abuse. The text's interdisciplinary discussion examines issues of financial disparities for women following divorce, traumatic symptoms in children and adults, and the legal controversies about the admissibility of psychological theories related to abuse. The author also addresses: domestic violence as a gendered crime against women; the need for a trauma-informed judicial response; and the need for a systemic judicial response that incorporates an understanding of domestic violence and child maltreatment to provide services and protections. The book is an invaluable resource for professionals and academics in social work, forensic psychology, law, and related mental health fields, as well as academics interested in gender based discrimination in the courts.

"Pence and Paymar are right on target again. Their analysis of battering is excellent and their approach...is straightforward, useful and clear. [The book] tells you what to do with abusive men and how to do it well. [The authors] challenge practitioners to do their work in a manner that is compassionate yet never colluding. Accountability and safety to battered women and creating a process of change for abusive men are central to its success." --Susan Schechter, author of Women and Male Violence "Drawing upon years of experience...Pence and Paymar have written a practical and conceptually sound curriculum for batterers' groups. This book offers an effective guide to both the beginning facilitator and the experienced clinician for engaging batterers in the lifelong process of changing their intimate relationships, from those based on coercive control to those based on equality. [They] accomplish this task without compromising their commitment to advocacy with battered women." --Anne L. Ganley, PhD, Domestic Violence Program Seattle Veterans Administration Medical Center "Presents the most comprehensive and successful methods for working with men who batter. Mixing discussion, self-analysis and opportunities for learning new behaviors, this well-mapped-out intervention strategy helps counselors hold men accountable while teaching non-abusive behaviors." --Fernando Merderos, Executive Director of Common Purpose, Boston, MA "Education Groups for Men Who Batter is a curriculum and a methodology which unequivocally identifies the exercise of violent and coercive tactics against women in intimate relationships as intentional, strategic behavior....[It] is an essential training tool for all actors in the justice and human services systems. Only when tactics of control are seen as intentional intimate terrorism can these systems construct responses effectively to end the violence.î --Barbara J. Hart, Esq., Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence "Presents the leading approach to undoing men's abuse of women...The Duluth Model has pioneered an approach based on the experiences of abused women and consequently tailored to their circumstances. It tackles the social dimensions of woman abuse more directly and decisively than any of the psychological or skill-building approaches circulating in the field." -- Edward W. Gondolf, author of Men Who Batter, Battered Women as Survivors, and Psychiatric Response to Family Violence "The Duluth Model has inspired activists all over the world, and its principles are being followed in programs in several countries. We predict that this book will become the standard text for those who work with men who batter." --Rebecca Emerson Dobash and Russell P. Dobash authors of Violence Against Wives; Women, Violence and Social Change; and Women Viewing Violence

Lundy Bancroft expands on his bestseller Why Does He Do That? in this daily guide that empowers women who are suffering in abusive relationships. Even if you’ve read Why Does He Do That?, it may be hard to see the truth of what is happening to you. You may feel overwhelmed by confusion, loss, and fear, and find yourself looking away from the truth and falling back into traumatic patterns. What you need is something that is there for you every day—to help you make a long series of little changes that will ultimately add up to a big one. Like a constant friend, this collection of meditations is a source of strength and reassurance designed to speak to women like you, women in relationships with angry and controlling men. It is a tool you can use to learn how to value and respect yourself—even when your partner makes it very clear that he does not. With seven themes designed to encourage and inspire, Daily Wisdom for Why Does He Do That? will help you digest what is happening one day at a time, so that you can gain clarity, safety, and freedom. You will see the truth in your destructive relationship. You and your children will survive. And—with these encouragements—even tomorrow will be a better day than today.