Presents a humorous collection of texts between man and dog.

Texts from Mittens is a series of text message conversations between a snappy, self-absorbed housecat named Mittens and his long-suffering human, a single woman who works away from home during the day. Mittens relentlessly hassles his human all day long, while only taking breaks to watch Judge Judy, hang with his best friend Stumpy, complain about the antics of Drunk Patty the neighbor, ask Grandma for money to buy useless items from QVC, and harass the “filthy beast” dog, Phil. Angie Bailey is an award-winning writer and blogger, humorist, and professional member of the Cat Writers’ Association. Her primary blog, Catladyland, has won many awards, and her humor writing is featured nearly daily on Catster.com, one of the most popular cat sites on the Web. She loves to photograph her cats in silly poses and sleeps with one eye open. And yes, she has three cats. “Each installment of Texts From Mittens is like a little gift to brighten your day!” —Kate Benjamin, Hauspanther founder and co-author of Catification with Jackson Galaxy "Texts From Mittens makes me wish my cat had thumbs! This is a hilarious book; Angie Bailey has done it again!” —Jeremy Greenberg, Author of Sorry I Barfed on Your Bed "We all knew that cats were hilarious, but Ms. Bailey's sardonic cat quips really take their mannerisms, attitude and occasional apathy to another level." —Susan Michals, Curator of Cat Art Show Los Angeles Come home! There's an emergency! What?? Are you OK? My dish is half empty! I'll be home soon. You wish starvation upon me! Stop being dramatic. Am weeak. Caan hasrdly tyyppe. Are you going to wear those black pants on your bed? Yes. I have a date. They're comfortable. Mittens, get off my pants! FYI: Poly-blend makes your butt look big

Follow along with Mittens as he enjoys hilarious, snark-filled text volleys with his cast of quirky friends and family: Earl (the “filthy hound”), Stumpy (the best friend), Drunky Patty (the usually tipsy next-door neighbor), Grandma (giver of treats), and Fiona (Mitty’s girlfriend). Based on Angie Bailey’s virally popular blog, Texts from Mittens: The Friends and Family Edition is feline humor at its finest.

This collection of daily thoughts to nourish the soul from the world’s sacred texts by Leo Tolstoy feature gems of inspiration and wisdom—author Thomas Keneally calls this book “transcendent, and that we are grateful he lived long enough to endow us with his grand inheritance.” This is the first-ever English-language edition of the book Leo Tolstoy considered to be his most important contribution to humanity, the work of his life's last years. Widely read in pre-revolutionary Russia, banned and forgotten under Communism; and recently rediscovered to great excitement, A Calendar of Wisdom is a day-by-day guide that illuminates the path of a life worth living with a brightness undimmed by time. Unjustly censored for nearly a century, it deserves to be placed with the few books in our history that will never cease teaching us the essence of what is important in this world.

An invaluable resource for working programmers, as well as a fount of useful algorithmic tools for computer scientists, astronomers, and other calendar enthusiasts, The Ultimate Edition updates and expands the previous edition to achieve more accurate results and present new calendar variants. The book now includes coverage of Unix dates, Italian time, the Akan, Icelandic, Saudi Arabian Umm al-Qura, and Babylonian calendars. There are also expanded treatments of the observational Islamic and Hebrew calendars and brief discussions of the Samaritan and Nepalese calendars. Several of the astronomical functions have been rewritten to produce more accurate results and to include calculations of moonrise and moonset. The authors frame the calendars of the world in a completely algorithmic form, allowing easy conversion among these calendars and the determination of secular and religious holidays. LISP code for all the algorithms is available in machine-readable form.