Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank
Title Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank PDF eBook
Author Celia Rivenbark
Publisher Macmillan
Pages 290
Release 2007-09-04
Genre Humor
ISBN 9780312339944

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A collection of essays about life in the Southern United States.

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank

Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank
Title Stop Dressing Your Six-Year-Old Like a Skank PDF eBook
Author Celia Rivenbark
Publisher Macmillan
Pages 284
Release 2006-09-05
Genre Humor
ISBN 9780312339937

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Author of the SEBA Book of the Year "We're Just Like You Only Prettier," Rivenbark's irresistibly hilarious essays explore the American South's glorious excesses and contradictions. These treasures are sure to leave readers hankerin' for more!

Rude Bitches Make Me Tired

Rude Bitches Make Me Tired
Title Rude Bitches Make Me Tired PDF eBook
Author Celia Rivenbark
Publisher St. Martin's Press
Pages 272
Release 2013-10-22
Genre Humor
ISBN 1250038413

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In this always sensible and mildly profane etiquette manual for the modern age Celia Rivenbark addresses real-life quandaries ranging from how to deal with braggy playground moms to wondering if you can have sex in your aunt's bed on vacation to correctly grieving the dearly departed (hint: it doesn't include tattoos or truck decals). Rude Bitches Make Me Tired will provide answers to all your mannerly questions as Celia discusses the social conundrums of our day and age, including: Navigating the agonies of check splitting ("Who had the gorgonzola crumbles and should we really care?")The baffling aspects of airline travel (such as "Recline Monster" and other animals)The art of the visit (always leave them wanting more . . . much more)Gym and locker etiquette (hint: no one wants to talk to you while you're buck naked)Office manners ("Loud talkers, cake hawkers, and Britney Sue's unfortunate cyst")And much more! Good manners have never been so wickedly funny!

You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning

You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning
Title You Can't Drink All Day If You Don't Start in the Morning PDF eBook
Author Celia Rivenbark
Publisher Macmillan
Pages 254
Release 2009-09-01
Genre Humor
ISBN 1429952016

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From the author of the bestselling classics We're Just Like You, Only Prettier, and Bless Your Heart, Tramp, comes a collection of essays so funny, you'll shoot co'cola out of your nose. Topics include such gems as: • Why Miss North Carolina is too nice to hate • How Gwyneth Paltrow wants to improve your pathetic life • Strapped for cash? Try cat whispering • Sex every night for a year? How do you wrap that? • Get yer Wassail on: It's carolin' time • Airlines serving up one hot mess • Action figure Jesus • Why Clay Aiken ain't marrying your glandular daughter • And much more! Complete with a treasure trove of Celia's genuine southern recipes, You Can't Drink All Day if You Don't Start in the Morning is sure to appeal to anyone who lives south of something.

Belle Weather

Belle Weather
Title Belle Weather PDF eBook
Author Celia Rivenbark
Publisher St. Martin's Press
Pages 302
Release 2010-07-01
Genre Humor
ISBN 142992991X

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Bestselling Author of We're Just Like You, Only Prettier and Bless Your Heart, Tramp Hang on to your hats! We're in for some fiercely funny weather and crackling-sharp observations from Celia Rivenbark, of whom USA Today has said, "Think Dave Barry with a female point of view." With her incomparable style and sassy southern wit, you'll hear from Celia on: --The joys of remodeling Tara --How Harry Potter bitch-slaps Nancy Drew --Britney's To-Do list: pick okra, cover that thang up --How rugby-playing lesbians torpedoed beach day --Why French women suck at competitive eating --The truth about nature deficit disorder --The difference between cockroaches and water bugs --The beauty of Bedazzlers And much, much more! Whether she's doing her taxes or extolling the virtues of Madonna's mothering skills, Celia Rivenbark will keep you laughing until the very last page.

The Liberal Redneck Manifesto

The Liberal Redneck Manifesto
Title The Liberal Redneck Manifesto PDF eBook
Author Trae Crowder
Publisher Simon and Schuster
Pages 352
Release 2017-10-10
Genre Humor
ISBN 1501160400

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"The Liberal Rednecks--a three-man stand-up comedy group doing scathing political satire--celebrate all that's good about the South while leading the Redneck Revolution and standing proudly blue in a sea of red. Smart, hilarious, and incisive, the Liberal Rednecks confront outdated traditions and intolerant attitudes, tackling everything people think they know about the South--the good, the bad, the glorious, and the shameful--in a laugh-out-loud funny and lively manifesto for the rise of a New South. Home to some of the best music, athletes, soldiers, whiskey, waffles, and weather the country has to offer, the South has also been bathing in backward bathroom bills and other bigoted legislation that Trae Crowder has targeted in his Liberal Redneck videos, which have gone viral with over 50 million views. Perfect for fans of Stuff White People Like and I Am America (And So Can You), The Liberal Redneck Manifesto skewers political and religious hypocrisies in witty stories and hilarious graphics--such as the Ten Commandments of the New South--and much more! While celebrating the South as one of the richest sources of American culture, this entertaining book issues a wake-up call and a reminder that the South's problems and dreams aren't that far off from the rest of America's"--

Bless Your Heart, Tramp!

Bless Your Heart, Tramp!
Title Bless Your Heart, Tramp! PDF eBook
Author Celia Rivenbark
Publisher Macmillan + ORM
Pages 234
Release 2006-05-30
Genre Humor
ISBN 1466801107

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From the wickedly hilarious pen of Southern humorist Celia Rivenbark comes a collection of essays that brings to mind Dave Barry (in high heels) or Jeff Foxworthy (in a prom dress). Step into the wacky world of "womanless wedding" fund-raisers, in which Bubbas wear boas. Meet two sisters who fight rural boredom by washing Budweiser cans and cutting them into pieces to make clothing. Learn why the word snow sends any right-thinking Southerner careening to the Food Lion for extra loaves of bread and little else. Humor columnist and slightly crazed belle-by-birth Celia Rivenbark tackles these and other lard-laden subjects in Bless Your Heart, Tramp, a hilarious look at Southern---and just plain human---foibles, up-close and personal. So pour yourself a glass of sweet tea and curl up on the pie-azza with Bless Your Heart, Tramp.