All aspects of the zombie lifestyle are surveyed in this satirical take on an orientation manual for the newly undead. From how one became a zombie in the first place and the stages of zombification to survival mechanisms, this handbook offers specific advice on everything a fresh zombie needs to know about "life" expectancy, hunting techniques, hitching a ride, hand-to-mouth combat, and feeding etiquette. Instructions for extracting the living from boarded up farmhouses and broken down vehicles are included along with dozens of helpful diagrams outlining attack strategies such as the Ghoul Reach, the Flanking Zak, the Bite Hold, and the Aerial Fall for securing human prey and their all-important flesh and brains.

Algonquin “Ali” Rhodes, the high school newspaper’s music critic, meets an intriguing singer, Doug, while reviewing a gig. He’s a weird-looking guy—goth, but he seems sincere about it, like maybe he was into it back before it was cool. She introduces herself after the set, asking if he lives in Cornersville, and he replies, in his slow, quiet murmur, “Well, I don’t really live there, exactly. . . .” When Ali and Doug start dating, Ali is falling so hard she doesn’t notice a few odd signs: he never changes clothes, his head is a funny shape, and he says practically nothing out loud. Finally Marie, the school paper’s fashion editor, points out the obvious: Doug isn’t just a really sincere goth. He’s a zombie. Horrified that her feelings could have allowed her to overlook such a flaw, Ali breaks up with Doug, but learns that zombies are awfully hard to get rid of—at the same time she learns that vampires, a group as tightly-knit as the mafia, don’t think much of music critics who make fun of vampires in reviews. . . .

Megan Berry, a Carol, Arkansas, high school student who can communicate with the Undead, must team up with her childhood friend Ethan to save homecoming from an army of flesh-hungry zombies.

The snow is falling, the holidays are approaching and…It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies! This delightfully depraved book of classic Zombie Christmas carols by Michael P. Spradlin is guaranteed to spread Yuletide cheer to all those good boys and ghouls who devoured the monster New York Times bestsellers Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and World War Z, as well as fans of 28 Days Later and Shaun of the Dead. With an introduction by the inimitable Christopher Moore—bestselling author of Bloodsucking Fiends, You Suck, andthe classic “heartwarming tale of Christmas terror” The Stupidest Angel—It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Zombies is a great gift for stuffing into a Christmas stocking…provided you remove the bloody severed foot first!

"112 possible endings. At least 7 in which you don't die!"--front cover.

“One of America’s best satiric novelists” (Kirkus Reviews), S. G. Browne seamlessly gift wraps this horrific and hilarious sequel to his “extremely strong” (Publishers Weekly, starred review) zombie novel Breathers. He sees you when you’re sleeping...he knows when you’re undead. How does the leader of a failed zombie civil rights movement from California rescue a group of his undead brethren and help a lonely Breather girl as he hides from a band of medical researchers while disguised as Santa Claus? If you’ve never believed in Christmas miracles, then you wouldn’t understand. Andy Warner has just escaped from a zombie research facility in Portland, Oregon, where he’s been subjected to experimental testing for the past year. With Christmas just days away, Andy figures that donning a jolly old St. Nick costume to throw off his would-be captors is just the ticket. But he never expects to encounter a sweet, lonesome nine-year-old girl who not only reminds Andy of the family he’s lost but who thinks he’s the real Santa. He also doesn’t count on being recognized as last year’s national quasi-celebrity by a clandestine group of decaying supporters who look to him for leadership. For the living and the undead, this unforgettable holiday tale will truly put on display just who is gnawing and who is nice....

As the walking dead rise up throughout the world, a few brave doctors attempt to find a cure by applying forensic techniques to captured zombies. On a remote island a crack medical team has been sent to explore a radical theory that could uncover a cure for the epidemic. Based on the team's research and the observations of renowned zombie expert Dr. Stanley Blum, The Zombie Autopsies documents for the first time the unique biology of zombie organisms. Detailed drawings of the internal organs of actual zombies provide an accurate anatomy of these horrifying creatures. Zombie brains, hearts, lungs, skin, and digestive system are shown, while Dr. Blum's notes reveal shocking insights into how they function--even as Blum and his colleagues themselves begin to succumb to the plague. No one knows the ultimate fate of Dr. Blum or his researchers. But now that his notebook, The Zombie Autopsies, has been made available to the UN, the World Health Organization, and the general public, his scientific discoveries may be the last hope for humans on earth. "Humanity has a new weapon against the living dead and that weapon is Steven Schlozman!" -- New York Times bestselling author Max Brooks "I've written and made films about zombies for over forty years. In all that time, I've never been able to convince my audience that zombies actually exist. On page one of The Zombie Autopsies, Steven Schlozman takes away any doubt. This fast-moving, entertaining work will have you chuckling...and worrying." -- George A. Romero, director of Night of the Living Dead "Gruesome and gripping! Steven Schlozman reveals the science behind zombies from the inside out." -- Seth Grahame-Smith, New York Times bestselling author of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter "With The Zombie Autopsies, Steven Schlozman redefines 'weird science' for the 21st Century. Brilliant, bizarre and wonderfully disturbing." -- Jonathan Maberry, New York Times bestselling author of Rot & Ruin and Patient Zero "Dr. Steve's Zombie Autopsy will charm and excite a new generation into loving science." --Chuck Palahniuk, New York Times bestselling author of Fight Club