The sharpest stings ever to snap from the tip of an English-speaking tongue are here at hand, ready to be directed at the knaves, villains, and coxcombs of the reader's choice. Culled from 38 plays, here are the best 5,000 examples of Shakespeare's glorious invective, arranged by play, in order of appearance, with helpful act and line numbers for easy reference, along with an index of topical scorn appropriate to particular characters and occasions.

Away, you scullion, you rampallion, you fustilarian! Along with penning some of the most sublime passages in all of English Literature, Shakespeare was a master when it came to casting a wicked comeback or hurling a barbed insult. Whether it's Prospero calling Caliban a 'freckled whelp, hag-born' in The Tempest or King Lear railing against his daughter Goneril with the damning words, 'Thou art a boil, a plague sore, an embossed carbuncle in my corrupted blood', Shakespeare didn't hold back when it came to getting creative with his slights. Packed full of eloquent stings and poisonous putdowns, this is the perfect resource for anyone looking to scorn an enemy – without resorting to swearing! 'Away, you starvelling, you elf-skin, you dried neat's-tongue, bull's-pizzle, you stock-fish!' Henry IV Part I (Act 2, Scene 4). 'Away, you three-inch fool.' The Taming of the Shrew (Act 4, Scene 1). 'Go, prick thy face, and over-red thy fear, Thou lily-liver'd boy.' Macbeth (Act 5, Scene 3). 'The tartness of his face sours ripe grapes.' The Comedy of Errors (Act 5, Scene 4).

Office politics--the uses of verbal infective to survive in business--is yet another field in which Shakespeare was master. Quill pens and disk drives may come and go, but bosses, underlings, clients and competitors are universal throughout the ages. Here's a sampling of barbs from the bard that each of us can use to convey the warmth of our feelings for others. 20 line illustrations.

Having a problem with a lazy student? Forget detention--tell him how you really feel: "Your brains are useless, boil'd within thy skull." Tired of your teacher's boring, pointless lectures? Raise your hand and comment that "Your reasons are as two grains of wheat hid in two bushels of chaff: you seek all day ere you find them, and when you have them, they are not worth the search." Full of schoolroom slings, digs, and retorts, Shakespeare's Insults for Teachers is better ammunition than a spitball--and hey, you're learning something!

A Shakespearean insult generator that creates tart-tongued and totally humorous bawdy combinations and clever comebacks. Some occasions call for foul language, but why resort to the common F-word? If you must be offensive, hearken back to the Elizabethan days for more salacious and outrageous word choices. Impress your friends with your mastery of lewd iambic pentameter and vanquish your enemies with the power of the bard. After all, a toad-spotted maggot by any other name would be as pestilent . . . Mix and match to come up with your own raucous rebuffs, including: Thou Foul-Reeking Lily-Livered Codpiece! Thou Ruttish Rump-Fed Pignut! Thou Beslubbering Cockeyed Canker-blossom! Thou Churlish Dull-Eyed Hag And more!

Put dullards and miscreants in their place with more than 150,000 handy mix-and-match insults in the bard's own words. This entertaining insult generator and flip book collects hundreds of words from Shakespeare's most pointed barbs and allows readers to combine them in creative and hilariously stinging ways. From "apish bald-pated abomination" to "cuckoldly dull-brained blockhead" to "obscene rump-fed hornbeast," each insult can be chosen at random or customized to fit any situation that calls for a literary smackdown. Featuring an informative introduction on Shakespearean wit, and notes on which terms were coined or only used once by the author in his work, this delightful book will sharpen the tongue of Shakespeare fans and insult aficionados without much further ado.

One of a kind gag gift for friends & coworkers! Are you buying for someone who likes a good joke? Look no further! This is a unique notebook with over 50 Shakespearean insults and makes a funny, memorable gift. It is suitably offensive and slanderous with Elizabethan English slurs that will mortify your mate and leave them in splits. Here is a sample of the insults you will see: Thou loathed toad-spotted maggot pie! Thou craven clapper-clawed whey face! Thou dankish shard-borne filthy rogue! And many more And it comes with writing pages too. So every time your loved one flips a page, there is a fresh insult to process and laugh over. Do we need to say that it makes a great Christmas, Birthday, Secret Santa, Retirement and Appreciation gift?