Romantic relationships hold enormous significance within contemporary society, and monogamous marriage continues to serve as the “master template,” informing the structure, personal and legal parameters of intimacy. Although social changes have indeed impacted traditional notions of marriage and coupledom, monogamy continues to serve as the ultimate embodiment of commitment, love, and devotion to one’s partner and operates as the fundamental framework of sexual and emotional exclusivity. Relationship rules serve as a key indicator of what individuals expect and value within their intimate lives. For example, the rules of marriage (and therefore monogamy) emphasize loyalty, exclusivity, and faithfulness between two partners, which is generally operationalized as fidelity. Further, rule violations are often characterized as “infidelity,” and represent a breach to the commitment established between partners. The rules of monogamy, as well as the consequences for violating them, have been normalized and institutionalized in both paradigm and practice; American culture is decidedly mononormative, and fidelity is central to monogamous relationships. While the master monogamous template continues to be institutionally and individually reinforced, some actively choose to “break the rules” of monogamy in favor of multiple sexual and/or romantic relations. Consensual nonmonogamists, in contexts like open relationships, swinging, and polyamory, challenge the master monogamous template through not only engaging with multiple sexual and/or romantic partners, but also being consensual and usually overt about them. If monogamists have rules about other partners that ensure fidelity, do nonmonogamists have rules? If so, what are they, and what purpose do they serve in a relationship structure that has already broken the cardinal rule of exclusivity? Is commitment important in nonmonogamous relationships, and does fidelity exist between partners who are having sex with and/or falling in love with other partners? This study draws on over 2,000 surveys and 70 in-depth interviews with monogamists, nonmonogamists, and polyamorists to examine the meaning, significance, and practice of fidelity within their intimate relationships. Results indicate that fidelity exists in some variation in all relationship types. The book presents a “Fidelity Typology” based on differentiations between sexual and emotional exclusivity, as well as whether behavior aligns with ideology. The author argues that while exclusivity may not be a necessity in today’s romantic relationships, “feeling special” is key regardless of whether a relationship is monogamous, nonmonogamous, or polyamorous. However, how an individual experiences and ensures specialness is tempered by definitions of love and sex, differentiating between sexual and emotional exclusivity, and engaging individual agency in creating rules between partners. The book highlights that gender and sexual orientation are most salient in conceptualizations of monogamy, sex, and love, rates of nonmonogamy, and even relationship agreements and rules. The author offers a nuanced framework for understanding commitment in today’s romantic relationships, invoking a more agentic approach to achieving specialness called “personal fidelity.” The author argues that while personal fidelity is ultimately socially informed through the master template, it is also largely based on one’s sexual and emotional self-awareness, accountability, and perceived responsibility to other partner(s). Personal fidelity may well be the catalyst for ensuring specialness between partners and preserving the significance of one’s intimate relationship(s). This is an important book for sexualities studies, as well as scholars and students interested in gender, family and intimate relationships.

"Extremely well-researched and coherently argued, this book presents top-quality research and draws appropriately on the existing knowledge in this area. The focus on fidelity across different kinds of relationship structures is very original and will prove an important contribution to the field of relationship research. A key strength of this study is that the analysis pays attention to both commonalities and diversity (which is rare, even in qualitative research). The analysis is also both clearly expressed and sophisticated." - Dr. Meg Barker, Open University "This is a fascinating investigation of the meaning of 'love, ' 'sex, ' and 'fidelity' for different kinds of couples. Kassia Wosick reports on a survey and in-depth conversations with couples that were straight and gay, monogamous and non-monogamous, traditional and polyamorous. 'Love' and 'being special' are enormously important in all of these groups. But she also finds startling differences. For some, sexual exclusiveness is critical. For others, being faithful means not loving anyone else, but sex with others is ok. For polyamorous couples, having explicit rules and being open and honest is the heart of fidelity and being special. And "having sex" can mean many different things. This book persuasively argues that we need more flexible, emotion-focused concepts of love, commitment and fidelity. The traditional focus on sexual exclusivity does not fit many contemporary relationships. This is a very valuable book for researchers and therapists, and for all of us who care about 'love, ' 'sex, ' and 'faithfulness'." - Professor Francesca Cancian, University of California, Irvine "Engaging, insightful, thoroughly researched, and well written, Sex, Love, and Fidelity: Study of Contemporary Romantic Relationships provides a compelling analysis of evolving relationships with a unique focus on levels of monogamy that surpasses previous studies to contribute refreshing insights into current meanings of sexuality and love. Wosick untangles the myriad cultural assumptions underlying the concept of fidelity and details the various ways in which fidelity expresses in a range of contemporary relationships, from dual fidelity and strict monogamy through veiled fidelity and almost monogamy to specified fidelity and non-monogamy and ending with agentic fidelity and polyamory. Now that few people in the US expect to be monogamous in the classical sense of marrying as a virgin and remaining in one, life-long, sexually exclusive relationship, Sex, Love, and Fidelity provides the information necessary for us to update our understandings of contemporary love and commitment." - Dr. Elisabeth Sheff, Sheff Consulting Group

What does healthy intimacy look like? How we do we keep the energy and passion alive in long-term relationships? What practices can help us forgive our partner when he or she has hurt us? How can we get a new relationship off to a strong and stable start? What do we do if we feel restless in a relationship or attracted to someone outside of our partner? These are just some of the questions Zen master and Nobel Peace Prize nominee Thich Nhat Hanh has been asked by practitioners and readers alike. Deeply moved by the suffering that can be caused by these issues, he offers concrete guidance in his first ever writings on intimacy and healthy sexuality. Fidelity guides the reader to an understanding about how we can maintain our relationships; keep them fresh, and accepting and loving our partner for who they are. Fidelity gives concrete advice on how to stay attentive and nourishing of each other amidst the many responsibilities and pressures of daily life. Readers will learn how to foster open communication, dealing with anger and other strong emotions, learning to forgive, and practicing gratitude and appreciation. Fidelity is written for both couples in a committed relationship wanting to further develop a spiritual dimension in their lives together, and for those where infidelity or hurt may have occurred, and there is a need for best practices to re-weave the net of love and understanding. In addition to addressing everyday occurrences and challenges, Thich Nhat Hanh shows how traditional Buddhist teachings on attachment, deep listening, and loving speech can help energize and restore our relationships. Written in a clear and accessible style, and filled with personal stories, simple practices and exercises,Fidelity is for couples at all stage of relationships. It the guide book for anyone looking to create long-lasting and healthy intimacy.

As Evan and Matt's friendship turns into something deeper, both of them struggle to reconcile their overwhelming feelings for one another.

We live in a time when marital fidelity is under assault. Driven by the forces of relativism, our society attacks sexual faithfulness on numerous fronts. The push for homosexual marriages, for example, comes at the end of the fall into perversion, not the beginning. Faithless husbands began the fall long ago, and our culture, with all its washed-out self-help books, fails to address the real problem -- sin. Addressed to men, Fidelity hits hard, using clear language and focusing on specific sins with specific solutions: adultery, divorce, polygamy, celibacy, pornography, and more. But in the end, the antidote to all sexual temptation is simple -- the godly honoring of the marriage bed: "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge" (Heb. 13:4).

Examines the traditional concept of the American marriage, identifies vulnerable points, and proposes that infidelity does not equal a failed marriage

Our amorous and erotic experiences do not simply bring us pleasure; they shape our very identities, our ways of relating to ourselves, each other and our shared world. This volume reflects on some of our most prevalent assumptions relating to identity, the body, monogamy, libido, sexual identity, seduction, fidelity, orgasm, and more.The book covers common conflicts and confusions and includes work by established scholars and innovative new thinkers. Philosophically challenging but highly readable, the volume is ideal for a wide range of courses on love and sex, including those taught in philosophy and gender studies.