`This is a highly original and in many ways brilliant text. It is a model of how historical/process sociological research ought to be conducted and written-up. The author's subtle blending of theory and data is outstanding' - Eric Dunning, Professor of Sociology, University of Leicester `Wouters has written a book both broad in scope and deep in analytic reach. Exploring changes in courtship norms over the last century in English, Dutch , German and American books of manners, he discovers changes which confirm the theory of informalization. Relations between the sexes are, he shows us, less regulated from outside and more from inside. This change calls – paradoxically – for both an emancipation of emotion and an ever sharper cultural eye on ways of managing emotion. The book carries Elias’s classic, The Civilizing Process one giant step further. An important contribution and a fascinating read' - Arlie Russell Hochschild, University of California This dazzling book examines changes in American, Dutch, English and German manners, regarding the changing relationships between men and women. From the disappearance of rules for chaperonage and the rise of new codes for courting, dates, public dances and the work place, it shows how women have become their own chaperone by gaining the rights to pay for themselves, to have a job and be a sexual subject. This original and thought-provoking book: · provides empirical evidence showing how younger generations removed their courting from under parental wings and how the balance of power between the sexes shifted in women’s favour; · monitors changes in codes regarding sexuality by focusing on the balance between the desire for sexual gratification and the longing for enduring intimacy; · documents the balance of controls over sexual impulses and emotions shifting from external social controls to internal ones; · compares nationally different trends, particularly between the USA and Europe, focusing on the American dating system and its resulting double standards; · argues that the initial greater freedom of American women has turned into a deficit. Cas Wouters teaches Sociology at Utrecht University

From the man who closed the lid forever on the "toilet seat debate" in the New York Times bestseller Essential Manners for Men comes the follow-up book that paves the way for couples everywhere to fix relationship problems before they start. Peter Post offers the secrets to a long and happy marriage or partnership—without psychoanalysis or prescription medication. The good news: often just a few simple words or actions can mend a rift. Essential Manners for Couples reveals how easy it can be to keep the spark in your relationship. With self-deprecating humor, clarity, and wit, Peter recounts couples' most mischievous manners foibles (his own included). Essential Manners for Couples is based on Emily Post Institute surveys, Peter's years of fielding thousands of etiquette questions, popular demand from couples attending his national lectures and workshops, and his experience as a husband and father. Peter looks at couples' private lives and public lives, revealing the common "flashpoints"—the places, situations, and times when inconsiderate behavior is most likely to invade your blissful coupledom. He offers "etiquette imperatives"—simple truths and concise nuggets of advice not to be ignored, including: Permissive flirting: How to define parameters and enjoy verbal combat with the opposite sex. The "Chore I.Q." test—are you really divvying up the workload fairly? When you hate her friends: socializing with the enemy. Enter children: Good parents still spend time together as a couple. Bedroom etiquette—getting beyond the headache excuse. Interactions with in-laws—smooth merge or crash and burn? Where to go for the holidays: surviving family visits and how to say "no." Balancing life with your other significant other—your work ... and much more. Essential Manners for Couples is a must-have resource for the couple who wants to celebrate their union and strengthen it. As Peter Post says, "By using the principles of etiquette, couples can avoid many of the potholes on the road of their shared life, and the ones they do hit are smaller and more manageable." With this book in hand, you'll enhance your relationship, head off hostilities, and have fun doing it.

Sex and Manners is dazzling book that examines changes in American, Dutch, English and German manners books regarding the changing relationship between men and women. It examines the disappearance of rules for chaperonage and the rise of new codes for public transport, public dances, courting, dates and the work place.

NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER Have you ever wished you could live in an earlier, more romantic era? Ladies, welcome to the 19th century, where there's arsenic in your face cream, a pot of cold pee sits under your bed, and all of your underwear is crotchless. (Why? Shush, dear. A lady doesn't question.) UNMENTIONABLE is your hilarious, illustrated, scandalously honest (yet never crass) guide to the secrets of Victorian womanhood, giving you detailed advice on: ~ What to wear ~ Where to relieve yourself ~ How to conceal your loathsome addiction to menstruating ~ What to expect on your wedding night ~ How to be the perfect Victorian wife ~ Why masturbating will kill you ~ And more Irresistibly charming, laugh-out-loud funny, and featuring nearly 200 images from Victorian publications, UNMENTIONABLE will inspire a whole new level of respect for Elizabeth Bennett, Scarlet O'Hara, Jane Eyre, and all of our great, great grandmothers. (And it just might leave you feeling ecstatically grateful to live in an age of pants, super absorbency tampons, epidurals, anti-depressants, and not-dying-of-the-syphilis-your-husband-brought-home.)

"What is a gentleman, and why should every man aspire to be one? Does the ideal still have any value in the age of feminism, 'toxic masculinity,' and 'Men Going Their Own Way?' Traditional books on manners and gentlemanly behavior have always claimed that manhood is defined by certain universal principles. But these norms have now changed so radically that the standard advice, tried and true as much of it remains, requires new formulation to be useful to the modern man" -- back cover.