This book presents a comprehensive guide to applying Meier and Boivin's Self-in-Relationship Psychotherapy model to clinical work with individuals, couples, families and children. The central theme of the book is that the paradigm of affects, cognitive processes and behaviors that informs current psychotherapy approaches needs to be broadened to include core self, relational and physical intimacy needs as motivating factors in psychotherapy. Drawing on multiple influences including relational psychoanalysis, the authors illustrate how to work with core needs when providing therapy to children and adults. They establish that core needs are universal, and their realizations are essential for healthy living and argue that clients achieve the healthiest outcomes by finding a way to balance the self alongside their relations with others. The concept of core self, relational and physical intimacy needs is what binds all the chapters in this book and makes it unique among psychotherapy approaches. With a clear transtheoretical approach and rich clinical vignettes, this book is core reading for any psychotherapists, psychoanalyst, or practicing psychologists.

In this innovative book, the authors set out their theory of Self-in-Relationship Psychotherapy (SIRP), advocating for the integration of relational, self, and physical intimacy needs in the conceptualization and treatment of psychological problems, placing human needs at the center of treatment. This marks a shift in how psychological and relational problems are understood, currently being perceived in terms of affects, cognitive processes and behaviors. Using numerous illustrations from their own clinical practice, Meier and Boivin contend that this understanding overlooks the pivotal role that needs play in all aspects of peoples’ personal lives and relationships. Children, adolescents, and adults do not live primarily from feelings and thoughts, but from basic psychological and relational, needs such as wanting to be in a meaningful relationship, having the autonomy and freedom to make decisions about their lives, experiencing being competent, being regarded as a significant and important person, and experiencing emotional, intimate, and sensual and/or sexual connections. By taking such an approach this book stands out among other books on psychotherapy theories. Authored by two seasoned psychologists who have provided therapeutic services to children, adolescents, and adults for 40 years, this book comprises the foundational theory for practicing Self-in-Relationship Psychotherapy, making it of interest to graduate students, clinicians in training, and practicing psychologists, social workers, and psychotherapists alike.

This is the first book on counselling skills to look in detail at the practical interventions and tools used to establish the therapeutic relationship. Step-by-step, the text teaches the reader exactly how to use these skills with clients to address their concerns and achieve therapeutic change. Integrative and pluralistic in approach, the text covers the key techniques from all the major therapeutic models, placing them in their historical and theoretical contexts. Techniques covered include empathic responding, experiential focusing, Gestalt, metaphors, task-directed imagery, ego state therapy, solution focused therapy, cognitive behvioral therapy, narrative therapy and self-in-relationship therapy. The book: - presents each technique from the perspective of its underlying theory; - gives practical instruction on how to deliver each intervention; - provides extracts from counselling sessions to demonstrate the technique in action. This book is crucial reading for all trainees on counselling and psychotherapy courses or preparing to use counselling techniques in a range of other professional settings. It is also helpful for professionals who wish to acquire additional skills. Augustine Meier, certified clinical psychologist, professor Emeritus, Faculty of Human Sciences, Saint Paul University, Ottawa, Ontario and Founder and President of the Ottawa Institute for Object Relations Therapy. Micheline Boivin, certified clinical psychologist, Psychological Services of the Family, Youth and Children′s Program at the Centre for Health and Social Services, Gatineau, Québec.

Severing a cherished relationship is one of the most painful experiences in life—and cutting those emotional ties to a loved one can feel almost like ending an addiction. Up till now, people recovering from other problems were able to get real help—like AA and rehab—while those struggling in the aftermath of traumatic breaks dealt with platitudes and friends insisting they should "get over it already." But now Exaholics Anonymous treats getting over an ex like kicking a chemical habit. Written by counselor and therapist Dr. Lisa Bobby, Exaholics offers meaningful support and advice to anyone trapped in the obsessive pain of a broken, or dying, attachment. She helps the brokenhearted heal, showing them, on a deep level, how to develop a conceptual framework for their experience, understand the emotional processes at work inside themselves, find the path to recovery, and free themselves of shame, injured ego, and remorse. In-depth case studies of others' journeys will illuminate the way to future happiness.

With a focus on self-empowerment and resilience, this refreshing and witty relationship guide has a reassuring counterintuitive message for unhappy spouses: you only need one partner to initiate far-reaching positive change in a marriage. Conventional wisdom says that “it takes two” to turn a troubled marriage around and that both partners must have a shared commitment to change. So when couples can’t agree on how—or whether—to make their marriage better, many give up or settle for a less-than-satisfying marriage (or think the only way out is divorce). Fortunately, there is an alternative. “What distinguishes Reilly’s book is that she says a warring couple don’t have to agree on the goal of staying together; it takes one person changing, not both, to make a marriage work” (The New York Times). Marriage and family therapist Winifred Reilly has this message for struggling partners: Take the lead. Doing so is effective—and powerful. Through Reilly’s own story of reclaiming her now nearly forty-year marriage, along with anecdotes from many clients she’s worked with, you’ll learn how to: -Focus on your own behaviors and change them in ways that make you feel good about yourself and your marriage -Take a firm stand for what truly matters to you without arguing, cajoling, or resorting to threats -Identify the “big picture” issues at the basis of your repetitive fights—and learn how to unhook from them -Be less reactive, especially in the face of your spouse’s provocations -Develop the strength and stamina to be the sole agent of change Combining psychological theory, practical advice, and personal narrative, It Takes One to Tango is a “wise and uplifting” (Dr. Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute) guide that will empower those who choose to take a bold, proactive approach to creating a loving and lasting marriage.

Engaging in action is at the heart of our most meaningful experiences. And given the fast-paced, goal-driven nature of modern society, engagement in action is also central to how we perceive ourselves. Action has traditionally been viewed as an end product of the counseling process, but now a bold new redefinition makes counseling not only a driver of action, but an action in itself. Counseling and Action couples a timely update on the multiple roles of action in counseling with an action-based framework for enhancing progress between client and professional. Grounded in the core concepts of contextual action theory as well as key aspects of counseling (e.g., identity, intentionality, emotion), the book explicates an approach that is responsive to client complexities and the larger social conditions that frame them. Expert-penned chapters apply theory to practice, illustrating levels of engagement in action as counselor and client negotiate goals and work toward their realization. And an especially useful section offers guidelines for intervening with specific populations and addressing particular issues. Among the topics covered: Designing projects for career construction. Agentic action in context. Counseling intentional addiction recovery grounded in relationships and social meaning. The action of mindfulness in counseling. A contextual action theory perspective on self-efficacy in individual counseling. Counseling processes and procedures through the lens of contextual action theory. With its forceful argument for a quantum leap in both theory and practice, Counseling and Action is transformative reading for professionals, educators, and graduate students in social work, psychotherapy, psychology, and counseling.

How do we position ourselves, moment by moment, in relation to our patients and how do these positions inform both what we come to know about our patients and how we intervene? Do we participate as neutral object, as empathic self-object, or as authentic subject? Do we strive to enhance the patient's knowledge, to provide a corrective experience, or to work at the intimate edge? In an effort to answer these and other clinically relevant questions about the process of psychotherapeutic change, Martha Stark has developed a comprehensive theory of therapeutic action that integrates the interpretive perspective of classical psychoanalysis (Model 1), the corrective-provision perspective of self psychology and those object relations theories emphasizing the internal 'absence of good' (Model 2), and the relational perspective of contemporary psychoanalysis and those object relations theories emphasizing the internal 'presence of bad' (Model 3). Model I is about knowledge and insight. It is a one-person psychology because its focus is on the patient and the internal workings of her mind. Model 2 is about corrective experience. It is a one-and-a-half-person psychology because its emphasis is not so much on the relationship per se, but on the filling in of the patient's deficits by way of the therapist's corrective provision; what ultimately matters is not who the therapist is, but, rather, what she can offer. Model 3 is about relationship, the real relationship. It is a two-person psychology because its focus is on patients and therapists who relate to each other as real people; it is about mutuality, reciprocity, and intersubjectivity. Whereas Model 2 is about 'give' and involves the therapist's bringing the best of who she is into the room, Model 3 is about 'give-and-take' and involves the therapist's bringing all of who she is into the room. As Dr. Stark repeatedly demonstrates in numerous clinical vignettes, the three modes of therapeutic actionDknowledge, experience, and relationshipDare not mutually exclusive but mutually enhancing. If, as therapists, we can tolerate the necessary uncertainty that comes with the recognition that there is an infinite variety of possibilities for change, then we will be able to enhance the therapeutic potential of each moment and optimize our effectiveness as clinicians.