Two road toads instruct children in rules for living healthy, safe lives.

Most travelers leave home Monday morning for a work week in the Chicago office saying "Love yah, see you Friday." The hero in Rules for the Road is a quantum leap from that lucky character. Last Friday afternoon he kissed his wife passionately and said, "Love you, hope to see you before next month arrives." You don't fly home on Friday afternoons when you find yourself halfway around the world. We join our hero on a train in China headed for Nanjing where he and his team are about to begin another round of negotiations with a Chinese company to enter into a joint venture. The meetings, however, quickly take a back seat to the culture of the people, their mannerisms, food, drink and the winsome ways of their women with a personal agenda. When the trip gets extended by an extra week and a half, his life and the temptations of the flesh become almost intolerable. Our loving husband finds himself swept up in dangerous events that he has neither contemplated nor imagined. In other words, the magnetism of his personality has a precarious impact on the women he meets: this Svengali makes swooning ladies act out naughty thoughts.

As Edgar soundly slept, moonlight sculpted to his ivory pillow as it began, at first like an expected flash of movement from the corner of his nostril. Then again, this time several coarse black hairs grew slowly from each of Edgars openings, slowly but surely moving cautiously over his lip and chin like a raven-black out-of-control Jack in the Beanstalk. -from Coiffure Love Buoyed by the concert, Elaine ordered two Black Russians, heavy on the vodka and light on Japanese custom.....During the last course the vodka blacksmith hammered me. By now the room was tilting and the vodka and butterflied shrimp were scurrying toward my stomachs exit sign....First kneeling, then completely falling into the lower seating tier, I nested on my side, soaked in sour soup atop a middle aged couple....Never turning back, I reeled all the way to my little hotel by foot, partially digested shrimp and curly crispy noodles now decorating my lower trouser legs and those silly bamboo sandals. -from Livin by Wits As a last ditch effort, I almost jokingly asked if he was a betting man, a simple Roman coin toss, heads heaven, tails hell, what do you say, JC? The attending angels blushed as he aptly flipped the coin, mid air I called heads, it landed on his nail scarred wrist, Caesar side up, heads, I won! -from Dinner with Jesus Reappearing, Olga the Orangutan, a bit squat, very muscular and quite hairy in the now splitting silk teddy showed surprising agility as she clutched Carl to dance; swaying slowly to the music, they formed an interesting couple: Carl, knees bent and stooping over in his tasseled smoking jacket; Olga standing on his slippers, hairy arms around his neck. -from Monkey Business