Professor Birdsong is back at it bringing you stories of dumb thieves that creates laugh-out-loud enjoyment. How stupid can thieves be? Please enjoy the following samples. * A man stole a rookie police officer's personal vehicle the night of the officer's Police Academy graduation and went on a buying spree with the victim's credit cards at Taco Bell and Walmart. * A bank robber slipped up, literally, while making his getaway on foot across four lanes of traffic and a restaurant parking lot before slipping on a patch of ice where he was arrested. * Cape Cod is where the so-called "Obit Bandit" was accused of breaking into homes while residents attended wakes and funerals. *After a 20-mile car chase one suspect drove onto a dock and straight in to a lake, then got out of the car and tried to swim away before officer's caught him. * One industrious thief cut a hole in a pizzeria roof to raid the cash register, then realized he couldn't get out. He then broke through a wall into a liquor store where he got drunk and passed out. Get your copy of 157 Dumbest Thieves for these and many other stories that will make your sides ache with laughter.

This book is a collection of 157 stories about dumb criminals from around the U.S. including the Professor'[s home state of Florida, criminal dummies from abroad, and drunken dummies from all over. The stories are true and include the Professor's witty commentary.

Professor Birdsong is back in the saddle, using his expertise in criminal law, to bring you his latest collection of 157 Dumbest Thugs from around the U.S. and abroad. Stories that will put a smile on your face and make you laugh out loud. Here are a few: * A vandal caused $300,000 worth of damage when he toppled a statue of Sean "Diddy" Combs at the Madam Tussauds wax museum in Times Square in 2019 - and beheaded the statue in the process. * A woman sliced her boyfriend with a boxcutter and threatened to kill him because he failed to give her a birthday present on her 55th birthday. * A Vermont man confessed to spraying liquid manure on a U.S. Customs Border Protection cruiser one summer after he went on a rant about not enough being done to arrest immigrants in the country illegally. * An irate New York City judge gave a harsh sentence to an abusive father who forced the mother of his child to walk naked through the winter streets of Harlem for texting other men. And so many more that will tickle your funny bone. Get your copy of 157 Dumbest Thugs for these and many other stories that will make your sides ache with laughter.

National bestselling book: Featured on Midwest, Mountain Plains, New Atlantic, Northern, Pacific Northwest and Southern Regional Indie Bestseller Lists Perfect book for the birder and anti-birder alike A humorous look at 50 common North American dumb birds: For those who have a disdain for birds or bird lovers with a sense of humor, this snarky, illustrated handbook is equal parts profane, funny, and—let's face it—true. Featuring common North American birds, such as the White-Breasted Butt Nugget and the Goddamned Canada Goose (or White-Breasted Nuthatch and Canada Goose for the layperson), Matt Kracht identifies all the idiots in your backyard and details exactly why they suck with humorous, yet angry, ink drawings. With The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America, you won't need to wonder what all that racket is anymore! • Each entry is accompanied by facts about a bird's (annoying) call, its (dumb) migratory pattern, its (downright tacky) markings, and more. • The essential guide to all things wings with migratory maps, tips for birding, musings on the avian population, and the ethics of birdwatching. • Matt Kracht is an amateur birder, writer, and illustrator who enjoys creating books that celebrate the humor inherent in life's absurdities. Based in Seattle, he enjoys gazing out the window at the beautiful waters of Puget Sound and making fun of birds. "There are loads of books out there for bird lovers, but until now, nothing for those that love to hate birds. The Field Guide to Dumb Birds of North America fills the void, packed with snarky illustrations that chastise the flying animals in a funny, profane way. " – Uncrate A humorous animal book with 50 common North American birds for people who love birds and also those who love to hate birds • A perfect coffee table or bar top conversation-starting book • Makes a great Mother's Day, Father's Day, birthday, or retirement gift

A revelatory memoir about a young woman whose life was stolen when she was kidnapped in 1991 and remained an object of captivity for 18 years.

More hilarious, unbelievable-but-true stories from our nation’s courts, from the author of Disorder in the Court and Disorderly Conduct. Charles M. Sevilla finds comic gems in court transcripts—and now brings readers a delightful, all-new collection. Starting with a chapter on the defendants (one of whom, when asked his marital status, replies after a long pause, "Adequate") and following with sections on lawyers, experts, witnesses, evidence, and even one called "Malaprops" (DA: The status of the boat has no relevance to this case at all. This is a total fishing expedition). Stories from Sevilla's previous books have become viral Internet sensations, priming readers for more legal disorder, such as: Clerk: Do you solemnly swear that the testimony you are about to given in the cause now pending before this court shall be the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth, so help you God? Witness: Yes, I swear. I’ll say anything but the truth, nothing but the truth.

Two men in England photographed each other stealing thousands of dollars from gambling machines. An armed man successfully robbed a pharmacy and was captured after he boasted about it on social media. A burglar spent some time cleaning the house he was robbing, and even restocked some groceries, before he was discovered fast asleep in the homeowner’s bed. (“He did burn an old saucepan, but that happens!” reported the homeowner.) Two drunken louts stole a penguin from an aquarium and tried to release him into a canal when they were sober (he was returned to the polar enclosure, unharmed). Another man attempted to hold up a bank using a cucumber as a weapon. Two fellows tried to rob a bar where the town’s police department was holding a retirement party for one of its members. For every Moriarty, there are a thousand stupid criminals who get caught in the act, or who boast about their success on social media, or whose acts are so outrageous that the police have little difficulty tracking them down. Throughout history, these criminals have been easily captured, and have sometimes even died during an ill-fated escape. New criminals are apprehended every day thanks to their own genius, their exploits captured on YouTube and Instagram. Veteran reporter Jack Kirchhoff has recorded more than one hundred of the most ridiculous, absurd and bizarre crimes that have landed on the police blotter in recent years. Hilarious and outrageous, this book will make you shake your head and perhaps second-guess your own plans to commit petty larceny.