In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author’s adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.New for September 2020: The book has been reedited by professional editor Vincent Parisi.

Hardcover edition: A new version of my first novel made to celebrate my early successes. Includes new professionally done artwork [cover reveal 7/19]. Also includes bonus content in the back--an afterword highlighting my tumultuous relationship with sudden popularity and unavoidable infamy. In exchange for pizza, a beautiful crow delivered stories to my windowsill. I've collected those stories, here, for your amusement and observation. The genres gravitate towards surrealist fantasy with a touch of horror and a thread of comedy."Bedfellows" follows the story of a boy and a girl who are attached at the hip by supernatural means. "Belligamy" tells the tale of a powerful curse forcing married men to fight one another in order to protect their brides. "Captured by Animals" details an author's adventures spying on people in the woods to write his romance stories. "The Red Constellation" is Law & Order SVU meets Cosmic Horror. "Young Adult Series Simulator" tells the story of that date you went on at the bookstore. "F1" is about a pregnant horse. "Nine-Tenths An Ape" is the Monkey's Paw but in reverse. "Lethe" asks, how old were you when you had your first memory? Maybe a little too old? "The Bright Idea Room" reminds you that it's the environment that kills you in the end. Not the serial killer. "Satan's Spies" is about a friendly group of businessmen and their obsession with strip clubs.

Step one of burning a book is finding a disagreeable premise within its interior to justify the act. In order to simplify this process for the reader, each short story in this collection is followed by a precise reason the short story should be immolated, opined by the author’s many critics. "Lucky Girl Noir" is about a hard-boiled cop solving the murder of a ‘Lucky Girl’, one of many powered women born with probability consistenly in their favor. Burning this story would be a much needed win in the war against plagiarism. "Three Days West" is an acid-Western about a pair of turophile cowboys exploiting their otherworldly connection in frontier Colorado. This story deserves burning for stealing the modesty of American pulp heroes. "Zantar" is Tarzan but with aliens and raccoons. Burning seems appropriate, as it acts as a continuation of the author’s insatiable hunger for theriocide. "Sea Creatures" is a sapphic love story between a siren and a mermaid. The story deserves to be burned for suggesting bras are a form of art. "Lizard People Take Orlando" tells the story of Zaffre Davis, a young grad student running for mayor of Orlando while keeping his double life as a scalie a secret. Burning should be considered due to its depictions of the furry fandom as solely affiliating with Democrats. "The Spirit Realm" is about the survivor of a mass party poisoning who wakes up to find he can talk to and interrogate bottles of alcohol. Not a single character is represented by a bottle of absinthe; a crime best punished by burning. "The Pimp That Slapped the Ripper" is about the fall of Jack the Ripper at the hands of a violent, young procurer who will protect her property at all costs. The author’s new softness has robbed the story of certain graphic, historical details; their omission begets burning. "Washed" is the story of a man who loses all his memories when he takes a shower. Burn this one to effectively eliminate the author’s ugly, stinky past. "An American Weekend" is about a boy’s considerably awful week, and his preceding visitation by the embodiments of Friday, Saturday and Sunday; who guide him out of his funk. Turn it to ashes; this interpretation of the weekend reeks of upper-class privilege. "Roadwork" is about the daily struggles of a lemurtologist, an exorcist working for the DMV whose job is to remove ghosts from the road after a horrific accident. Tossing this story into the fire could fracture the ego of a hate-filled author obsessed with smudging the good name of the DMV.

I've tracked down ten authors who have, at some point, participated in the act of cannibalism. I've collected one short story from each writer and combined them here for your amusement and observation. Isaac Cone presents “Margaritaville”, Jimmy Buffet’s hit song reinterpreted as a southern gothic. Sandeyu Yamamoto writes “Antiquing” about a family with a rare type of OCD where they haunt the object they most obsessed over. John Doe submits “Jesus Christ Meets the Chupacabra” which is exactly what it sounds like. Arsenio Alonso adds “A Vacancy in Staffordshire” about a team of researchers hunting for black-eyed kids in the British wilderness. Greige Wagner contributes “The Life & Times of a Rockefeller Pregnancy Zombie” about a girl who is hypnotized by the New World Order to feel unfathomable pain unless she uses her every egg for procreation. Mago Schlecter's brings us “Ring the Belles”, a mix between historical fiction and a slasher where the villain only kills the teenaged daughters of slave-owners in the Antebellum South. Cassius Crown surrenders "Zooland” about a cursed town where everyone is reduced to their id at night becoming either vicious wolves or delicious deer. Bonny Bride sends “Glee-Maiden”, a story about a woman seeking to make it in the male-dominated field of killer clowning. Matthew Hoga pens “Comorbidity”, the story of two different plagues of zombie with wildly different styles that collide in the ruins of Zhengzhou, China. Joss Iger authors “Six O’s”, the most light-hearted of the bunch, about a man who can only orgasm six more times before he can never do it again. I share these stories in hopes of emphasizing the unique voices oft ignored in favor of traditional masticators.

For college student Emily Sheppard, the thought of spending a summer alone in New York is much more preferable than spending it in France with her parents. Just completing her freshman year at Callister University, Emily faces a quiet summer in the city slums, supporting herself by working at the campus library. During one of her jogs through the nearby cemetery while visiting her brother Bills grave, Emily witnesses a brutal killingand then she blacks out. When Emily regains consciousness, she realizes shes been kidnapped by a young crime boss and his gang. She is hurled into a secret underworld, wondering why she is still alive and for how long. Held captive in rural Vermont, she tries to make sense of her situation and what it means. While uncovering secrets about her brother and his untimely death, Emily falls in love with her very rich and very dangerous captor, twenty-six-year-old Cameron. She understands its a forbidden love and one that wont allow her to return to her previous life. But love may not be enough to save Emily when no one even knows she is missing.

A treasure trove of stories, poems, and information on the brainy, black-feathered bird that’s rich in insight and humor. This revised and expanded edition of Candace Savage’s best-selling book about ravens and crows is enhanced by additional paintings, drawings, and photos, as well as a fascinating selection of first-person stories and poems about remarkable encounters with crows. In one story, a pack of crows brilliantly thwarts an attack by a Golden Eagle; in another, a mischievous crow rescues the author from grief. And in a third piece, after nursing a battered baby crow back to health until it flies off with other crows, Louise Erdrich hauntingly describes her altered awareness as she listens for the “dark laugh” of crows while she works. Based on two decades of audacious research by scientists around the world, the book also provides an unprecedented, evidence-based glimpse into corvids’ intellectual, social, and emotional lives. But whether viewed through the lens of science, myth, or everyday experience, the result is always the same. These birds are so smart—and so mysterious—they take your breath away. Published in Partnership with the David Suzuki Institute. Praise for Crows “A beautifully crafted celebration of these birds.” —Nature “A deft juxtaposition of interesting anecdotes and firsthand accounts of scientific discoveries.” —Canadian Literature “Surprising avian revelations are contained within the pages of Savage’s glorious festival of crow arcana.” —Alberta Views

Return to New York Times bestselling author Anne Bishop’s world of the Others—where supernatural entities and humans struggle to co-exist, and one woman has begun to change all the rules… After winning the trust of the Others residing in the Lakeside Courtyard, Meg Corbyn has had trouble figuring out what it means to live among them. As a human, Meg should be barely tolerated prey, but her abilities as a cassandra sangue make her something more. The appearance of two addictive drugs has sparked violence between the humans and the Others, resulting in the murder of both species in nearby cities. So when Meg has a dream about blood and black feathers in the snow, Simon Wolfgard—Lakeside’s shape-shifting leader—wonders if their blood prophet dreamed of a past attack or a future threat. As the urge to speak prophecies strikes Meg more frequently, trouble finds its way inside the Courtyard. Now, the Others and the handful of humans residing there must work together to stop the man bent on reclaiming their blood prophet—and stop the danger that threatens to destroy them all.