It's not easy being a parent these days. There are bills to pay. Kids to feed. And hordes of undead monsters to keep at bay. There are plenty of guides out there about how to survive the zombie apocalypse. All of them assume readers are young, fit, and unencumbered by children. In that scenario, the only living humans left will be smug, outdoorsy Millennials. That's hell on earth, even without the zombies. Only Dead on the Inside is the answer for the rest of us. Written by professional comedy writer and amateur father-of-four James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn), Only Dead on the Inside blends traditional parenting advice with zombie survival tips, bringing together two totally unrelated genres in a book no one asked for but everyone needs. This step-by-step manual teaches you how to raise happy, healthy children in a world overrun by the undead. Motivated moms and dads want it all, and that won't change at the end of the world. There's no reason you can't be a zombie killing machine AND parent of the year, but you have to work for it. If you want to make sure your family is apocalypse-ready, Only Dead on the Inside is your best―and only―chance at survival. No pressure, but if you don't read this book, your children will die.

A young hospital security guard with a disturbingly unique taste in women. A maternity doctor with a horrifically unusual appetite. When the two of them meet, they embark on a journey of self-discovery while shattering societal norms and engaging in destructively aberrant behavior. As they unwittingly help each other understand a world in which neither seems to belong, they begin to realize what it truly means to be alive...And that it might not always a good thing.

This fast-paced memoir that New York Times bestselling author Ellen Hopkins called "Compelling. Scary. Totally real" gives readers a glimpse into the unbelievable reality of a young girl's 16 months in the notorious "tough love" program the ACLU called "a concentration camp for throwaway kids." I never was a badass. Or a slut, a junkie, or a stoner, like they told me I was. I was just a kid looking for something good, something that felt like love. I was a wannabe in a Levi's jean jacket. Anybody could see that. Except my mother. And the staff at Straight. I was thirteen when I ran away from my abusive home. After a month in a shelter for kids--the best month of my childhood--my mother heard about Princess Di and First Lady Nancy Reagan's visit to this place that was working miracles with troubled teens. Straight Inc., it was called. Straight described itself as a drug rehab, a "direction for youth." Strictly false advertising. An accurate description came from the ACLU, which called it "A concentration camp for throwaway teens." Inside the windowless warehouse, Straight used bizarre and intimidating methods to "treat" us; to turn us into the type of kids our parents wanted. The Dead Inside takes readers behind Straight's closed doors, illustrating why the program was eventually investigated, sued, and closed down for abusing children. "Raw and absorbing, Etler's voice captivates"—Kirkus Reviews "[An] unnerving and heartrending memoir..."—Publishers Weekly "Etler weaves her story with conviction, self-deprecating humor, and hard facts"—Booklist "This is a memoir unlike anything else on the shelves today"—Germ Magazine

-Originally published as Straightling: A Memoir in 2012 in the United States by CreateSpace Independent Publishing Platform.---Title page verso.

Publisher Description

Thrills and chills descend on the town of Nightshade during Halloween in this fourth book in the series, following Dead Is So Last Year. As the creepy little town of Nightshade prepares to celebrate its 200th anniversary—on Halloween, of course—many of its paranormal residents are receiving mysterious blackmail letters. Psychic teen Daisy Giordano and her sisters set out to find out who is behind the threats. But launching an investigation isn’t easy for Daisy with her overprotective father watching her every move. Though she’s is happy to have him back after the years he spent being held captive by an anti-paranormal group called the Scourge, Dad is having a difficult time adjusting to home life—and the fact that his little girl is now a senior in high school. He even disapproves of Daisy’s boyfriend, Ryan. Can their relationship take the strain? And Daisy’s got even more on her plate: A talented amateur chef, she has won cooking lessons with celebrity chef Circe Silvertongue. After nosing around (with a little help from Circe’s pet pig), Daisy begins to suspect the temperamental chef’s secrets aren’t only in her ingredients . . . Praise for the Dead Is series “[Perez] delivers a wise-cracking, boy-lusting, determined sleuth of a high school protagonist . . . this quick, lighter-than-air spoof of the undead, cheerleaders and popularity is pure pleasure.”—Publishers Weekly “A fun ride from start to finish. Perez’s smart and sassy style soars.”—Mary E. Pearson, author of the Remnant Chronicles “[A] quick, lively romp . . . Teens looking for a breezy read will find plenty to like here.”—Booklist

An intense story of survival from a substance abuse program that left more scars than it healed After Cyndy fights off her stepfather's sexual advances, she escapes from the violence of her home. But she's reported as a runaway, and Cyndy soon finds herself in a drug rehab facility that changes her world. She's sent to Straight, Inc. To the public, Straight, Inc. was a place of recovery. But behind closed doors, it's something else entirely, using sleep deprivation, physical abuse, and brainwashing as methods of treatment in a cramped, windowless warehouse. In her memoir, Cyndy recounts the horrific and unforgettable months she spent living this nightmare.