Welcome to the seedy underbelly of nursery crime. From the New York Times bestselling author of the Thursday Next series comes a rollicking novel—“as if the Marx brothers were let loose in the children’s section of a strange bookstore” (USA Today). “A wonderfully readable riot . . . cleverly plotted, magically overstuffed yet amazingly digestible . . . [for] anyone who wants the thrill of a good crime novel larded with highly literate humor.”—The Wall Street Journal Meet Inspector Jack Spratt, family man and head of Reading’s Nursery Crime division. He’s investigating the murder of ovoid D-class nursery celebrity Humpty Dumpty, ex-convict and lover of women, found shattered to death beneath a wall in a shabby area of town. Yes, the big egg is down, and all those brittle pieces sitting in the morgue point to foul play. Spratt and his new partner, Sergeant Mary Mary, search through Humpty’s sordid past in hopes of finding the key to his death. Before long, Jack and Mary find themselves immersed in a bizarre case that reaches into the highest echelons of Reading society and business.

For Thanksgiving Day, the fourteen pigs in the Jambonneau family trim their trees to look like turkeys, but wake up one morning to find they have all been stolen.

The problem of sexual abuse in day care has increasingly come to the attention of both the public and child abuse researchers during the last few years. Nursery Crimes: Sexual Abuse in Day Care is the result of a two year nationwide investigation of sexual abuse in day care, conducted in an attempt.

The Gingerbreadman: Psychopath, sadist, genius, convicted murderer and biscuit is loose in the streets of Reading. It isn't Jack Spratt's case. He and Mary Mary have been reassigned due to falling levels of nursery crime, and The NCD is once more in jeopardy. That is, until a chance encounter during the Armitage Shanks literary awards at the oddly familiar Deja-Vu Club lead Jack and Mary on the hunt for missing journalist Henrietta 'Goldilocks' Hatchett, star reporter for The Daily Toad. She had been about to break a story involving unexplained explosions in Herefordshire, Pasadena and the Nullabor Plain; The last witnesses to see her alive were The Three Bears, comfortably living out a life of rural solitude in Andersen's wood. But all is not what it seems. How could the bear's porridge be at such disparate temperatures when they were poured at the same time? Was Goldy's death in the nearby 1st World War themepark of Sommeworld a freak accident? And is it merely chance that the Gingerbreadman pops up at awkward moments? But there's more. What does a missing scientist with a terrifying discovery in subatomic physics, a secret weapon of devastating power, a reclusive industrialist known only as the Quangle Wangle and Colonel Danvers of the National Security all have in common?

After James Follett, a detective working in Scotland Yard, is called out to Guildford to investigate a hotel shooting, he feels uneasy. When London Bridge collapses the same day, he turns to the survivor of the hotel shooting for answers, but the young girl's attacker is determined to keep her silent.

Blackmailed by a classmate, computer geek Martin Rucker, Jack Washburn and Jill Marshack set out to rid themselves of their parasitic tormenter, but they soon discover that true evil is difficult to destroy.