Alec had never been to Belgium, so it came as some surprise when he found himself at the altar of a small church in Flanders, reciting wedding vows in Flemish. It was the start of a long relationship with this unassuming and much maligned little country. He vowed to put worldwide opinion to the test: just how boring can Belgium be?

Popular music has always attracted the kind of morally bankrupt individuals who are too unhinged to hold down a proper job. And that’s just as well. After all, if your local fishmonger told you he’d just snorted his father’s ashes, you might think twice about doing business with him. But when Keith Richards says it, you think ‘Nice one, Keef!’ and have a flick through your iPod to find ‘Honky Tonk Women’. From deeply suspect sexual politics to crackpot religions, musicians’ elevated position in popular culture allows them to hold forth freely on subjects about which they know precious little. For the first time, Mind The Bollocks collects some of the finest stools of wisdom ever to fall from their foul, ill-educated mouths. Mind The Bollocks also digs beneath the culture of nonsense surrounding popular music and asks: Are the X-Factor auditions all they appear to be? Is there really a musical frequency that can make you soil yourself? And which world-renowned rock guitarist sliced his own penis off? All is revealed herein, with bonus satanic messages included if you read it backwards. Word count: 40,000

Edward John Routh (1831-1907) was a highly successful mathematics coach at Cambridge. He also contributed to the foundations of control theory and to the modern treatment of mechanics. Published between 1896 and 1902, this revised two-volume textbook offers extensive coverage of statics, with formulae and examples throughout.