What's worse than editing the stupidest supernatural romance novel ever written? Getting stuck inside of it. Karalynn Donnelly has somehow been transported into Eternal Passion at Sunset, a vampire love story filled with enough clich�s, anachronisms, and run-on sentences to drive any hardworking book editor insane. To make matters worse, Kara accidently prevents the story's hero and heroine from even meeting. Now Slade, the idiot Vampire King, thinks Kara's his destined mate and Melessa, his actual bride, has run off to join a Wild West show. If Kara's going to find her way home, she needs to get this story back on track. But, teaming up with the novel's bad guy might not be the best place to start. Damien, last of the Wizard-Warlocks, thinks Kara is the key to destroying his archenemy Slade. Snarky, charismatic, and unrepentantly villainous, Damien hates the Vampires and he's very interested in what Karalynn might know about all the changes happening in his world. Somehow, Kara has to reunite Slade and Melessa, dodge kidnapping Vampires, fight fire breathing dragons, and deal with her own growing feelings for a handsome bad guy who's starting to seem an awful lot like her knight in shining armor....

He was mouth-wateringly handsome and suave, sweet and thoughtful, every bit perfect with dark hair and grinning eyes -- but none of it fooled eighth-grade Sylvia. It didn't take a pint of blood for her to know that her sister Julia's new boyfriend Terry was a vampire... Of course, a trail of sparkling would have helped, but there was none. Full sunlight, garlic bread and functional in all the usual boyfriend-material capacities, it was difficult to detect at first, but yes, Terry was a vampire. Sylvia knew Julia was in deep trouble. Worse yet, Julia didn't seem to mind.

Not Another Vampire Book was only the beginning of the story...Slade, King of the Vampires: For a thousand years, Slade lived a rarified existence on an enchanted island. Now, he's stuck in modern day Chicago and he hates it. His destined mate has divorced him, his people have abandoned him, and no one in the backwards human world makes any sense. He needs a new kingdom to rule. A better kingdom. Somewhere he can regain his glorious crown, defeat nefarious villains, and save a damsel in distress. Somewhere he can prove that he's a still a hero. Luckily, he knows a Witch who can transport him into a very interesting screenplay.Jane Squire: A pragmatist and a loner, Jane doesn't believe in fairytales. She's got her sensible life under control, working the nightshift at a grocery store and taking acting jobs on the side. Then, the self-proclaimed "King of the Vampires" arrives to turn her peaceful world upside-down. Slade's sure that he needs Jane to sidekick on his epic quest. Not only does the arrogant lunatic get her fired, but she's somehow transported into the worse fantasy movie imaginable.The Kingdom of Infinia: With script pages full of stolen dialogue, random musical numbers, and a whole cast of supernatural weirdoes, there's no denying that Jane and Slade are stuck in a swords-and-sorcery film. The egotistical (and annoyingly gorgeous) Vampire loves his new realm. Determined to overthrow Infinia's Werewolf despot, Slade is happily battling dragons and gathering an army of Merry Men. And making Jane feel like she's part of something for the first time in her solitary life. In fact, despite the Hollywood bad guys trying to kidnap her and the lack of hot water heaters... Jane is starting to think maybe she's found her Prince Charming.

Getting over Your Vampire Ex is as Easy as Killing Him and Stealing His Girlfriend Holly Liddell has been stuck with crimped hair since 1987 when she agreed to let her boyfriend, Elton, turn her into a vampire. But when he ditches her at a gas station a few decades into their eternity together, she realizes that being young forever actually means working graveyard shifts at Taco Bell, sleeping in seedy motels, and being supernaturally compelled to follow your ex from town to town—at least until Holly meets Elton’s other exes. It seems that Holly isn’t the only girl Elton seduced into this wretched existence. He turned Ida in 1921, then Rose in 1954, and he abandoned them both before Holly was even born. Now Rose and Ida want to kill him before he can trick another girl into eternal adolescence, and they’ll need Holly’s help to do it. And once Holly starts falling for Elton’s vulnerable new conquest, Parker, she’ll do anything to save her. To kill Elton for good, Holly and her friends will have to dig up their pasts, rob a bank, and reconcile with the people they’ve hurt in their search for eternal love. And to win the girl, Holly will have to convince Parker that she’s more than just Elton’s crazy ex—even though she is trying to kill him.

Thirty-five uncanny and erotic tales of vampires written by supernatural fiction’s greatest mistresses of the macabre. "Fashions change, and the urbane vampire created by Byron and cemented in place by Stoker has had to move on . . . Are you, like me, ready for the new dusk?" —Ingrid Pitt, from her Introduction Prepare to arm yourself with garlic, silver bullets, and a stake. Featuring the only vampire short story written by Anne Rice, the undisputed queen of vampire literature, and boasting an autobiographical introduction and original tale by Ingrid Pitt, the star of Hammer Films' The Vampire Lovers and Countess Dracula, this is one anthology that every vampire fan—vampiric feminist or not—will want to drink deep from. From the classic stories of Edith Wharton, Edith Nesbit, Mary E. Wilkins-Freeman, and Mary Elizabeth Braddon to modern incarnations by such acclaimed writers as Poppy Z. Brite, Nancy Kilpatrick, Tanith Lee, Caitlín R. Kiernan, and Angela Slatter, these blood-drinkers and soul-stealers range from the sexual to the sanguinary, from the tormented Good to the unspeakably Evil. Among those memorable Children of the Night you will encounter are Chelsea Quinn Yarbro's Byronic vampire Saint-Germain, Nancy A. Collins' undead heroine Sonja Blue, Tanya Huff's vampiric detective Vicki Nelson, and Freda Warrington’s age-old lovers Karl and Charlotte. Nominated for the World Fantasy Award and the International Horror Guild Award, and now revised and updated, The Mammoth Book of Vampire Stories by Women fulfils the bloodlust of the somnambulist horror fan, delivering the ultimate bite.

Time isn’t always on a vampire’s side.... Iolanthe Tennyson has had a very bad year—due in part to the very bad men in her life. So she’s accepted her cousin’s invitation to spend the summer in Austria to indulge her photography hobby. Rumors of a haunted forest there draw Iolanthe into the dark woods—and into the eighteenth century.... Nikola Czerny is a cursed man, forced by his half brothers to live forever as a Dark One. But his miserable existence takes an intriguing turn when a strange, babbling woman is thrown in his path. Iolanthe claims to know Nikola’s daughter—three hundred years in the future. She also knows what fate—in the form of his murderous half brothers—has in store for him. If only she knew the consequences of changing the past to save one good, impossibly sexy vampire...

"Entertaining, disturbing, memorable, and sophisticated, this mortality tale will continue to haunt after the last pages are turned." – School Library Journal All Chris really wants is to be a normal kid, to hang out with his friends, avoid his parents, and get a date with Rebecca Schwartz. Unfortunately, Chris appears to be turning into a vampire. So while his hometown performs an ancient ritual that keeps Tch’muchgar, the Vampire Lord, locked in another world, Chris desperately tries to save himself from his own vampiric fate. He needs help, but whom can he trust? A savagely funny tale of terror, teen angst, suspense, and satire from National Book Award winner M. T. Anderson.