If you think Joan Rivers said funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things ONSTAGE, wait ’til you read the funny, outrageous, and ridiculous things she said OFFSTAGE…things that will make you laugh out loud…and keep Melissa in therapy for the foreseeable future. The only thing my mother loved more than making people laugh was lying…or as she’d say, “embellishing.” Her motto was: “Why let the truth ruin a good story?” This book contains some of those stories. ***************** “When Joan told a story, the truth disappeared faster than I did.” — Jimmy Hoffa “If you thought Dante’s Inferno was hot, read Lies My Mother Told Me; it’s a five-alarmer.” — Dante’s second wife, Allie “Twelve of my twenty-six personalities loved this book.” — Sybil “The words on the page absolutely crackle and spark; I burned my fingers reading it!” — Annie Sullivan “The Bible may be the good book, but Lies My Mother Told Me is way funnier.” — Matthew 2:14 The Jets. 7 “Lies My Mother Told Me is the feel-good book of 2022.” — Torquemada “All’s not well that ends well. I’ve had massages with happier endings.” — Wm. Shakespeare “Melissa, I don’t care what your mother said in this book, I LOVE your bangs.” — Mamie Eisenhower “Lies My Mother Told Me is so funny even those ‘woke’ m***********s will laugh.” — Lenny Bruce

"My father proposed to my mother at gunpoint when she was nineteen, and knowing that she was already pregnant with a dead man’s child, she accepted." Thus begins this riveting story of a woman's quest to understand her recently deceased mother, a glamorous, cruel narcissist who left her only child an inheritance of debts, threats, and mysteries.

There is no question that being a mother is challenging, but this fun, frank, and prescriptive guide tries to do the impossible and make new motherhood easier. Featuring interviews with hundreds of moms and candid stories from author Claudine Wolk's own experiences as a mother, It Gets Easier!...and Other Lies We Tell New Mothers mixes humor, honesty, and insider strategies that will give new moms a "leg-up." This upbeat and entertaining book drives home the point that new moms are not alone and that there are things they can do to make motherhood a little more controllable and lot more enjoyable. It addresses such issues as: * "The Talk" you need to have with your husband before you give birth * what you really need to know about labor and delivery * the importance of a baby schedule (no matter what anyone else says) * the 6 Baby Commandments that can foster good eating and sleeping habits * 5 new mom mantras that will help keep you sane * body image after giving birth * how to keep housework to a minimum Complete with resources for further exploration and a helpful glossary, this funny, irreverent book will help ease every new mother's frustration.

Her mother was a brainy knockout with the sultry beauty of Marilyn Monroe, a raconteur whose fierce wit could shock an audience into hilarity or silence. Her father was a distinguished figure in American letters, the National Book Award–winning author of four of the greatest novels of World War II ever written. A daughter of privilege with a seemingly fairy-tale-like life, Kaylie Jones was raised in the Hamptons via France in the 1960s and '70s, surrounded by the glitterati who orbited her famous father, James Jones. Legendary for their hospitality, her handsome, celebrated parents held court in their home around an antique bar—an eighteenth-century wooden pulpit taken from a French village church—playing host to writers, actors, movie stars, film directors, socialites, diplomats, an emperor, and even the occasional spy. Kaylie grew up amid such family friends as William Styron, Irwin Shaw, James Baldwin, and Willie Morris, and socialized with the likes of Truman Capote, Norman Mailer, George Plimpton, and Kurt Vonnegut. Her beloved father showed young Kaylie the value of humility, hard work, and education, with its power to overcome ignorance, intolerance, and narrow-mindedness, and instilled in her a love of books and knowledge. From her mother, Gloria, she learned perfect posture, the twist, the fear of abandonment, and soul-shattering cruelty. Two constants defined Kaylie's childhood: literature and alcohol. "Only one word was whispered in the house, as if it were the worst insult you could call someone," she writes, "alcoholic was a word my parents reserved for the most appalling and shameful cases—drunks who made public scenes or tried to kill themselves or ended up in the street or in an institution. If you could hold your liquor and go to work, you were definitely not an alcoholic." When her father died from heart failure complicated by years of drinking, sixteen-year-old Kaylie was broken and lost. For solace she turned to his work, looking beyond the man she worshipped to discover the artist and his craft, determined that she too would write. Her loss also left her powerless to withstand her mother's withering barbs and shattering criticism, or halt Gloria's further descent into a bottle—one of the few things mother and daughter shared. From adolescence, Kaylie too used drink as a refuge, a way to anesthetize her sadness, anger, and terror. For years after her father's death, she denied the blackouts, the hangovers, the lost days, the rage, the depression. Broken and bereft, she began reading her father's novels and those writers who came before and after him—and also pursued her own writing. With this, she found the courage to open the door on the truth of her own addiction. Lies My Mother Never Told Me is the mesmerizing and luminously told story of Kaylie's battle with alcoholism and her struggle to flourish despite the looming shadow of a famous father and an emotionally abusive and damaged mother. Deeply intimate, brutally honest, yet limned by humor and grace, it is a beautifully written tale of personal evolution, family secrets, second chances, and one determined woman's journey to find her own voice—and the courage to embrace a life filled with possibility, strength, and love.

My name is Sophie. This book is about me. It tells the heart-stoppingly riveting story of my first love. And also of my second. And, okay, my third love, too. It's not that I'm boy crazy. It's just that even though I'm almost fifteen I've been having sort of a hard time trying to figure out the difference between love and lust. It's like my mind and my body and my heart just don't seem to be able to agree on anything.

On a hot July night on Cape Cod, at the age of 14, Brodeur became a confidante to her mother's affair with her husband's closest friend. Malabar came to rely on her daughter to help, but when the affair had calamitous consequences for everyone involved, Brodeau was driven into a precarious marriage of her own, and then into a deep depression. In her memoir she examines how the people close to us can break our hearts simply because they have access to them, and the lies we tell in order to justify the choices we make. -- adapted from jacket

At twenty-two years old, Kerri Shepherd was on the verge of success. Her first novel had been published and she was preparing for a successful career as an author. All her dreams seemed to be coming true. But three years later, she still hasn't written a word. After the death of her father (a father who had abandoned the family seventeen years earlier), Kerri finds herself moving away from Toronto to the small Georgian Bay town of New Ferndale. Will the change of scenery help her overcome her writer's block? Or will she be too distracted by the men in her life; Denny (her first love), Carter (the small-town lawyer), and Duncan (her new neighbor)? And can she keep her sanity once her newly-divorced sister moves in with her? Family secrets are revealed and old wounds are exposed as Kerri realizes that love and happiness may not be the lies she always thought they were.