Making Love, Playing Power; Men, Women, and the Rewards of Intimate Justice brings the cutting edge of relationship therapy to the mass market. Family therapist and organizational consultant Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio debunks superficial theories about communication styles and gender roles as he gets to the real reason so many relationships are in trouble - misuse of power. The reason that men dont listen to women is not because men cant understand what women say. Men dont listen because they can get away with it. Dolan-Del Vecchio reveals how gender, race, sexual orientation, and money set the foundation for personal power, and how power as domination drives most conflicts whether between nations, interest groups, or individuals. What this kind of power never gets anybody, though, is the one thing we all want most - love. Within the field of family therapy, Ken Dolan-Del Vecchios work fuels a growing recognition of fairness as a necessary condition for healing troubled relationships. Men, Women, Love, and Power; Building Couple Partnerships in the 21st Century brings this cutting edge of family therapy to the self-help market. It shows the reader how to solve relationship problems by doing the following; treating one another respectfully listening responsibly selecting the best information sources choosing helping professionals wisely sharing authority and responsibilities fairlyIn a conversational style, Men, Women, Love, and Power draws the reader into a one-on-one dialogue about their relationship. The well-organized format features many chapter subheadings and bulleted lists. Each chapter concludes with ''action steps for men, women, and couples, helping the reader transform understanding into immediate results. Most relationship-help books focus on communication, the talking couples do (or dont do) with one another and the typical conflicts that result. This book digs deeper to show that the changes most couples seek require mutual respect and fairness. Dolan-Del Vecchio shows how these factors set the foundation for all else that happens, including communication. Examples make this connection crystal clear and give the reader new ways of tackling joint decision-making, housework, childcare, grocery shopping, and the activities that keep a couple connected to friends and family. When mutual respect and fairness provide the foundation for a couples partnership, communication falls into place. Making Love, Playing Power reveals how ways of the world that most of us take for granted create conflicts that confuse and exhaust many couples. The book shows how physical, economic, political, emotional, and spiritual power influence the course of couple partnerships, and describes how gender, race, sexual orientation and money shape the power each of us holds and the choices we face every day of our lives.

Making Love, Playing Power: Men, Women, and the Rewards of Intimate Justice brings the cutting edge of relationship therapy to the mass market. Family therapist and organizational consultant Ken Dolan-Del Vecchio debunks superficial theories about communication styles and gender roles as he gets to the real reason so many relationships are in trouble — misuse of power. Making Love, Playing Power reveals how gender, race, sexual orientation, and money set the foundation for personal power, and how power as domination drives most conflicts whether between nations, interest groups, or individuals. Women will find Making Love, Playing Power uniquely inspiring and validating. Men will find it life-changing. This book shows how to reject the power of domination and realize the power of love. Dolan-Del Vecchio offers new and provocative “principles of love,” memorable case examples, and “action steps” that help readers make changes that bring lasting love.

"[A] comprehensive, critical, empirical, and practical compilation of investigations about how diverse couples are trying to implement change and pursue equality in their relationships." -Katherine R. Allen, PhD Virginia Polytechnic Institute & State University "[A] true gift to couple researchÖ.The studies reported in this marvelously disciplined collection hold living implications for couples and their therapists." -Evan Imber-Black Director, Center for Families and Health, Ackerman Institute for the Family While numerous couples strive for equality in their relationships, many are unaware of the insidious ways in which gender and power still affect them-from their career choices to communication patterns, child-rearing, housework, and more. Written for mental health professionals and others interested in contemporary couple relationships, this research-based book shows how couples are able to move beyond the dangers of gendered inequality and the legacy of hidden male power. The book analyzes the relationships of couples from various racial, ethnic, and socioeconomic backgrounds. The contributors present innovative clinical interventions, and suggest strategies therapists can use to help couples transform their relationships from being gender-based to equality-based. Explores these key issues: The risks of being in a relationship ruled by "gender legacy" behavior The differences between couples who get caught in gender legacy patterns and those who do not Gender-based patterns across the life cycle, including newly formed couples; early marriage; child-rearing; mothering and fathering Gendered power in couples dealing with illness; ethnic and racial differences; immigration and displacement issues

This supportive and empowering guide helps readers identify and build on their relational values, which the dominant culture tends to minimize, inhibit, or disparage. Written in an engaging, easy to read and use format, this workbook offers clear case examples and activities that readers can apply to their own relationships. The introductory chapter describes the problem––how unrecognized power imbalances in who notices, accommodates, and attends to one another make attaining satisfying, mutually supportive intimate relationships difficult. Chapters 2-5 introduce practices that help readers recognize the connections between their social worlds and how they engage in their relationships, with exercises that facilitate this personal awareness and enable them to share these experiences with their partners. Chapters 6-10 guide readers through assessing reciprocity in their relationships and exercises to apply each of the four components of the Circle of Care (mutual vulnerability, attunement, influence, and relational responsibility) and strategies for maintaining commitment to their relational goals over the long term. In each chapter, exercises are structured to first teach personal socio-emotional awareness, followed by relational practices that facilitate engagement based on mutual attunement and shared commitment rather than debate. This book views emotion and meaning as the link between individuals and the larger society and helps readers develop awareness of their social contexts and societal power processes that work against relationships.

The God who set aside power in order to live out love--fully expressing that love on Calvary's tree--is at the core of the Christian message to the world. Yet in the centuries since Christ's refusal to yield to Satan's temptation to establish his kingdom through economic, political, and religious power, the Church has struggled to make the same refusal. In Choose Love Not Power, scholar, activist, and modern-day prophet Tony Campolo explores the relationship between love and power, beginning with an examination of Jesus' life and working toward a "theology of power" for Christians today. He surveys the implications of choosing love over power when it comes to the global community's most pressing issues--environmental degradation, economic inequality and instability, and perpetual war. Dr. Campolo suggests that the choice between love and power begins close to home: Christ-followers who choose love over power in marriage and in parenting will likewise opt for love in their churches, communities, and governments. The growing number of believers seeking a more authentically Christlike way to be Christian in a diverse, pluralistic society will be challenged and encouraged by this unflinching look at Jesus's example of love.

Nothing has been more contentious in the history of Christianity than the meaning of the Bible, and that debate continues today. Arguments over scripture have divided denominations, churches, and families, and these squabbles have led many to abandon the faith altogether. Jacob D. Myers, a rising young scholar, has a solution to the problem with scripture. The instability of the BibleÕs meaning, he argues, is not a weakness but a strength, and it can benefit conservatives and liberals alike. In a conversational style peppered with pop culture references, Myers provides a variety of tools for readers of the Bible, helping the experienced and inexperienced alike appreciate the sacred text in new ways. Finally, he proposes the intriguing alternative of an ÒeroticÓ interpretation, one that makes love with the Bible and opens new vistas of understanding.

Discovering that a partner has had an affair can feel like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, emotional aftershocks can make it difficult to be there for family, manage daily life, and think clearly about options. From award-winning couple therapists, this compassionate guide has already provided support and expert advice to thousands of readers. Updated throughout, the second edition draws on the latest research and is filled with vivid stories of diverse couples struggling with infidelity in all its forms--sexual or emotional, in-person or online. The book offers exercises and tips for processing what happened, coping with anger and mistrust, and mapping a way to move forward, whether separately or together.