Look Mom I'm a Poet (and So Is My Cat)

Look Mom I'm a Poet (and So Is My Cat)
Title Look Mom I'm a Poet (and So Is My Cat) PDF eBook
Author Andrew Shaffer
Publisher 8th Circle Press
Pages 109
Release 2021-06-01
Genre Poetry
ISBN

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For fans of SNL’S DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY and BILLY COLLINS, a new book of humor from New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer. In his first full-length poetry collection featuring over five dozen new and selected poems, humorist Andrew Shaffer explores our modern world from Fortnite (“I don’t care”) to pretentious Instagram poets (“Lord Byron would have drunk wine from your hipster skull”). Look Mom I’m a Poet (and So Is My Cat) is playful, hilarious, and accessible to readers who don’t know poetry from a hole in the ground.* *Holes in the ground are filled with snakes. As any verse jockey worth their meter will tell you, there are no snakes in poems.

Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)

Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow)
Title Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow) PDF eBook
Author Andrew Shaffer
Publisher 8th Circle Press
Pages 104
Release 2024-01-31
Genre Poetry
ISBN

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A new collection of laugh-out-loud poems from the international bestselling author of Look Mom I’m a Poet (and So is My Cat) Tired of Instagram poems about whiskey and self-love? Not Today, Satan (Maybe Tomorrow) is the hilarious antidote you didn’t know you needed, complete with crap drawings that make Rupi Kaur’s look like they belong in the Louvre. From poignant odes to snack cakes (“The Last Temptation of Little Debbie”) to tough love for friends (“You are Not a Mermaid”), Shaffer’s biting satire will have you questioning why you ever wasted time reading lesser verse jockeys.

Let's See Them Poems

Let's See Them Poems
Title Let's See Them Poems PDF eBook
Author Andrew Shaffer
Publisher Dime House
Pages 52
Release 2020-07-05
Genre Poetry
ISBN

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For fans of SNL'S DEEP THOUGHTS BY JACK HANDEY and BILLY COLLINS, a new book of humor from New York Times bestseller Andrew Shaffer. In his debut chapbook, bestselling humorist Andrew Shaffer explores alienation in its myriad forms, from cultural (“Don’t try to explain Fortnite to me/I don’t care”) to romantic (“We’ll always have that poem about Paris”). Playful, hilarious, and affectingly human, Shaffer’s poetry will bring a smile to the face of anyone who has ever felt like an alien in this world.

Feel the Bern

Feel the Bern
Title Feel the Bern PDF eBook
Author Andrew Shaffer
Publisher Ten Speed Press
Pages 257
Release 2022-12-06
Genre Fiction
ISBN 1984861158

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Who knew fighting for a living wage could be so deadly? Bernie Sanders and his Gen Z intern are drawn into a murder investigation in a small Vermont town in this hilarious spin on cozy mysteries from the New York Times bestselling author of Hope Never Dies: An Obama Biden Mystery. Fall is bursting out all over Vermont, and while the rest of the Congress enjoys its recess, Senator Bernie Sanders has returned to his beloved home state for a weekend of events in Eagle Creek, “America’s #1 Leaf Peeping Destination.” It’s up to intern and Eagle Creek native Crash Robertson to keep the senator on schedule—and out of trouble. Crash’s hopes for a quiet homecoming are dashed, however, when the lifeless body of a community banker with ties to “Big Maple” is found in Lake Champlain. While the sheriff’s department closes the case as an accident, a leaked autopsy indicates foul play…with a trail of syrup leading directly to one of the senator’s oldest friends. Bernie, taking a page from the cozy mysteries he’s addicted to, enlists Crash in a quest to uncover the killer’s true identity. If Crash allows the senator to go too far off-script, it will be the end of her yet-to-begin political career. But as the suspect list grows to include a tech bro set on “disrupting” the maple syrup industry, struggling small-business owners, and even Crash’s own family, she realizes there’s more on the line than her own future. If the unlikely duo can’t solve the mystery of the Maple Murderer before they strike again, Bernie’s life-long fight for justice may come to an unplanned end. This (totally fictional!) mystery also features recipes from Eagle Creek’s Vermont Country Shed, including Vermont Cheddar Mac & Cheese, “Feel the Bern!” Maple Sriracha Hot Sauce, and more!

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking

When You Thought I Wasn't Looking
Title When You Thought I Wasn't Looking PDF eBook
Author Mary Korzan
Publisher Andrews McMeel Publishing
Pages 60
Release 2004-03
Genre Family & Relationships
ISBN 9780740741920

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Mary Rita Schilke Korzan wrote a poem to her mother 24 years ago, thanking her for all she had done as a mother, friend, and role model. She gave the poem to her mother and, a few months later, offered it as a tribute when Mary and her husband were married. So many wedding guests asked for a copy that Mary included one in her thank-you notes.Then began the strange and heartwarming journey of Mary's poem to her mom. Friends passed it on to those they knew. A minister in her hometown couldn't recall who gave it to him, but he included the by-then "anonymously written" poem in his book about loving others. Another author picked it up from there for her compilation of heartfelt works, and Mary finally noticed her poem, now listed as "Author Unknown," in A Fourth Course of Chicken Soup for the Soul, which her husband and children gave her as a Mother's Day gift.With this new book, readers have the chance to experience When You Thought I Wasn't Looking in its entirety and from its creator. This is the special kind of book that reminds us that sometimes the little things we do "just because" mean more to someone than we can ever know. Those little things teach love, compassion, and understanding. In other words, they're priceless. This sweet gift book brings that lesson home to the heart.

I Knead My Mommy

I Knead My Mommy
Title I Knead My Mommy PDF eBook
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Publisher Chronicle Books
Pages 114
Release 2014-08-05
Genre Pets
ISBN 1452137129

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Just when we all thought things couldn't get any cuter, from the author of the New York Times bestselling I Could Pee on This comes I Knead My Mommy, a book of confessional poems about the triumphs, trials, and daily discoveries of being a kitten. From climbing walls to claiming hearts, these little cats bare all in such instant classics as "And Then You Said 'No,'" "Ode to a Lizard I Didn't Know Is Also a Pet in This House," and "I Will Save You." With adorable photos of the poetic prodigies throughout, this volume gives readers a glimpse into their confused and curious feline minds as they encounter the world around them.

I Could Pee on This

I Could Pee on This
Title I Could Pee on This PDF eBook
Author Francesco Marciuliano
Publisher Chronicle Books
Pages 111
Release 2012-08-03
Genre Humor
ISBN 1452121869

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Animal lovers will laugh out loud at the quirkiness of their feline friends with these insightful and curious poems from the singular minds of funny cats. In this hilarious, bestselling book of tongue-in-cheek poetry. The author of the internationally syndicated comic strip Sally Forth helps cats unlock their creative potential and explain their odd behavior to ignorant humans. With titles like "Who Is That on Your Lap?," "This Is My Chair," "Kneel Before Me," "Nudge," and "Some of My Best Friends Are Dogs," the poems collected in I Could Pee on This perfectly capture the inner workings of the cat psyche. With photos of the cat "authors" throughout, this whimsical animal book reveals kitties at their wackiest, and most exasperating (but always lovable). Ideal for that "crazy cat lady" or "cat mom/dad" in your life this collection of poems makes for the perfect cat-themed gift for anyone who's obsessed with our feline friends.