Author, professor (Southeastern Seminary), and Fox op- ed columnist Bruce Riley Ashford writers a series of letters to a young college student who is struggling to make sense of how to be a Christian amid contemporary American politics.

In Elementary School, during the late 60's classmates called me "The Blob." At home, I was ridiculed daily by my mother, who imitated my looks to my siblings. The cruel guardian disassociated me from my real name. With the early loss of my beloved grandmother, I had no protection. Then, my brother's abuse hurt me primarily on multiple levels. One day, inside my bedroom closet I developed dissociative identity disorder, or Multiple Personality Disorder. I began hugging myself, promising to develop protective mechanisms to help me deal with daily trauma. It also helped me tolerate cruel, insulting behaviors by believing I could rely on my alternate universe to help me soothe my inner pain. When I recognized how much better I felt, I could appropriate tolerance by relegating all my abuses to another part of my mind. Later on, following a terrifying bout with homelessness, my last personality emerged to tell my story, proving forgiveness was the component that would ultimately rest my trauma. I am most honored to present to you Letters to Carol.

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.

Published also under title: Letters to an unknown."Twenty-five years of my life. By Alphonse de Lamartine. Translated by Lady Herbert": p. [137]-319.