When Flowkwee goes to planet Earth on a mission, he has to stay disguised—as a small Earthling called Nigel, with only one head and four appendages! But that's not all: His personal mission is to go to a school every day to collect Earthlings to "improve." Nigel knows he has to act dumb around the Earthlings, so in math class he pretends he only knows his times table up until two million and six times nine, and in literacy class he pretends to read like a newborn Faathing baby. A lot of Earthling life is totally weird to Nigel—the odd removable skins Earthlings wear called "clothes" and the funny paint on his mom's face called "makeup"—but in some ways Earth is even better than planet Faa. Earth is full of cool sounds made up of all different pitches and noises called "music," and Earthlings get gifts every year on their birthdays, just for being alive! But while Nigel starts to embrace his Earthling self, in the background lurks a coming invasion that his dad keeps talking about. And why are they so interested in a substance called "spinach"? Letters from an Alien Schoolboy is sure to delight even the most reluctant readers as Earthling kids giggle their way through Nigel's gaffes and escapades. This is a fantastic gift for girls and boys eight and up!

Flowkwee is helping his dad study Earthlings by disguising himself as a schoolboy. But he's not prepared for how disgusting they are, or how stupid! Can he keep his true secret identity and save the Earth from disaster?

"Will Flowkwee prove that four heads are better than one and save Earth? Will all the miserable whining Earthlings and the fluffy clouds and chocolate and cheerful worms and cardboard be destroyed? If you are the kind of lazy good for nothing duffer of an Earthling who just puts this book right back on the shelf then you'll never ever ever ever ever know."--Page 4 of cover.

A Schoolboy’s Diary brings together more than seventy of Robert Walser’s strange and wonderful stories, most never before available in English. Opening with a sequence from Walser’s first book, “Fritz Kocher’s Essays,” the complete classroom assignments of a fictional boy who has met a tragically early death, this selection ranges from sketches of uncomprehending editors, overly passionate readers, and dreamy artists to tales of devilish adultery, sexual encounters on a train, and Walser’s service in World War I. Throughout, Walser’s careening, confounding, delicious voice holds the reader transfixed.

A glorious, diverse celebration of human life, from birth to death, by Mary Hoffman and Ros Asquith. The sixth title in the Great Big Book series explores every stage of human life. From birth to starting nursery, being a teenager to becoming an adult, from work to relationships, homes and jobs, to aging illness and death. A universal but challenging topic is dealt with Mary Hoffman and Ros Asquith's trademark sensitivity and humour and inclusivity.

Flowkwee while helping his dad study Earthlings by disguising himself as a schoolboy, puts together a guide to help other bamboozled aliens get to grippers with this primitve planet and its hideous inhabitants.