Perfect for linguaphiles and lovers of quotes, Ifferisms is a lively compendium of wit, wisdom, and wordplay from Dr. Mardy Grothe, author of I Never Metaphor I Didn’t Like, Viva La Repartee, and Oxymoronica. A collection of aphorisms—pithy observations that communicate some kind of truth about the human experience—Ifferisms contains those that begin with “if.” From “If life hands you lemons, make lemonade” to “If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it,” the sayings in Ifferisms demonstrate how hypothetical thinking helps people contemplate their lives.

"Never let 'em see you sweat." "Never change diapers in mid-stream." "Never let a crisis go to waste." "Never ruin an apology with an excuse." "Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died." When we strongly encourage people to do something, it's called an exhortation. But what is the proper term for strongly discouraging people? One candidate is admonition. Another is dehortation, the opposite of exhortation. But perhaps the best term for an emphatic piece of dissuasive advice is neverism. You won't find the term in any dictionary (at least not yet) because quotation anthologist Dr. Mardy Grothe coined it himself for this collection of nearly two thousand quotable cautionary warnings. With the whimsical and witty intermixed with the serious and profound, contributors range from Aesop and Marcus Aurelius to John Wayne and Mae West. Grothe also tells the fascinating "back stories" of scores of classic quotations as well as the history of hundreds more that have never before appeared in a quotation anthology. Organized by topics such as Wit & Wordplay, Politics & Government, Sports, Stage & Screen, and The Literary Life, this is a book about quotations as well as a book of them. Neverisms is sure to delight quotation lovers and language aficionados everywhere.

ox-y-mor-on-i-ca (OK-se-mor-ON-uh-ca) noun, plural: Any variety of tantalizing, self-contradictory statements or observations that on the surface appear false or illogical, but at a deeper level are true, often profoundly true. See also oxymoron, paradox. examples: "Melancholy is the pleasure of being sad." Victor Hugo "To lead the people, walk behind them." Lao-tzu "You'd be surprised how much it coststo look this cheap." Dolly Parton You won't find the word "oxymoronica" in any dictionary (at least not yet) because Dr. Mardy Grothe introduces it to readers in this delightful collection of 1,400 of the most provocative quotations of all time. From ancient thinkers like Confucius, Aristotle, and Saint Augustine to great writers like Shakespeare, Oscar Wilde, and G. B. Shaw to modern social observers like Woody Allen and Lily Tomlin, Oxymoronica celebrates the power and beauty of paradoxical thinking. All areas of human activity are explored, including love, sex and romance, politics, the arts, the literary life, and, of course, marriage and family life. The wise and witty observations in this book are as highly entertaining as they are intellectually nourishing and are sure to grab the attention of language lovers everywhere.

Discover words to surprise, delight, and enamor. Learn terms for the sunlight that filters through the leaves of trees, for dancing awkwardly but with relish, and for the look shared by two people who each wish the other would speak first. Other-Wordly is an irresistible ebook for lovers of words and those lost for words alike.

For most of us, that perfect retort or witty reply often escapes us when we need it most, only to come to mind with perfect clarity when it's too late to be useful. The twentieth-century writer Heywood Broun described this all-too-common phenomenon when he wrote "Repartee is what we wish we'd said." In Viva la Repartee, Dr. Mardy Grothe, author of Oxymoronica, has lovingly assembled a collection of masterfully composed -- and perfectly timed -- replies that have turned the tables on opponents and adversaries. This delightful volume is a celebration of the most impressive retorts, ripostes, rejoinders, comebacks, quips, ad-libs, bon mots, off-the-cuff comments, wisecracks, and other clever remarks ever to come out of the mouths -- and from the pens -- of people throughout history. Touching on all areas of human endeavor, including politics, the arts, literature, sports, relationships, and even the risqué, the book features contributions from Oscar Wilde, Mark Twain, Dorothy Parker, Mae West, Groucho Marx, Winston Churchill, Dolly Parton, and scores more. As entertaining as it is intellectually enriching, Viva la Repartee is sure to capture the attention of language lovers and is the perfect antidote for anyone who's ever thought I wish I'd said that!

Language "Appealing As Sunlight After a Storm." A sentence should read as if its author, had he held a plough instead of a pen, could have drawn a furrow deep and straight to the end. —Henry David Thoreau Prose consists of ... phrases tacked together like the sections of a prefabricated hen-house. —George Orwell Whether it invokes hard work or merely a hen-house, a good simile is like a good picture—it's worth a thousand words. Packed with more than 16,000 imaginative, colorful phrases—from “abandoned as a used Kleenex” to “quiet as an eel swimming in oil”—the Similes Dictionary will help any politician, writer, or lover of language find just the right saying, be it original or banal, verbose or succinct. Your thoughts will never be "as tedious as a twice-told tale" or "dry as the Congressional Record." Choose from elegant turns of phrases “as useful as a Swiss army knife” and “varied as expressions of the human face”. Citing more than 2,000 sources—from the Bible, Socrates, Shakespeare, Mark Twain, and H. L. Mencken to popular movies, music, and television shows—the Similes Dictionary covers hundreds of subjects broken into thematic categories that include topics such as virtue, anger, age, ambition, importance, and youth, helping you find the fitting phrase quickly and easily. Perfect for setting the atmosphere, making a point, or helping spin a tale with economy, intelligence, and ingenuity, the vivid comparisons found in this collection will inspire anyone. Love comforteth like sunshine after rain. —William Shakespeare A face like a bucket —Raymond Chandler A man with little learning is like the frog who thinks its puddle a great sea. —Burmese proverb Peace, like charity, begins at home —Franklin Delano Roosevelt You know a dream is like a river ever changing as it flows. —Garth Brooks Fit as a fiddle —John Ray’s Proverbs He's not to be allowed to fall into his grave like an old dog. —Arthur Miller Ring true, like good china. —Sylvia Plath Music yearning like a God in pain —John Keats Busy as a one-legged man in an ass-kicking contest. —Pat Conroy Enduring as mother love —Anonymous

What do Mae West, John F. Kennedy, Victor Hugo, and H. L. Mencken have in common? They all indulged in chiasmus-a literary device in which word order is reversed to hilarious or poignant effect. When Mae West said, "It's not the men in my life, it's the life in my men," she was using chiasmus; when John F. Kennedy said, "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country," he was doing the same. Dr. Mardy Grothe has compiled hundreds of examples of chiasmus in this whimsically illustrated collection, bringing this witty and thought-provoking device out of obscurity and into the public imagination.