The adventure continues! Here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Lacey Noonan's hit: "I Don't Care if My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her (...Because It's the New Millennium)." After narrowly escaping with their lives from the Lemaire family, Jason and Starla are now in a race against time to find the rendezvous point that will get them to Starla's homeland. Why? Because Earth is about to blow the hell up, that's why! Which doesn't keep our two sweethearts, of course, from stopping every forty-five minutes to make sweet, crypto-zoological love in any pond, pool or river they can find. The fresh air, the free love, the freedom of their Japanese crotch rocket vibrating beneath them... It's a hell of a way to travel. But something isn't right. Jason is beginning to suspect Starla doesn't actually know where she's going. It's obvious she's hiding something from him. And then one fateful night-just as they're about to make contact with "her people" in a weird yet sensual symbiosis of sound at the top of a pine tree-their lives are forever changed... Because that's when Jason abruptly joins 311, currently on tour with the Lilith Fair. The Rap-Rock genre has always called to Jason. It aligns with his wild-man tendencies. It's everything he's ever dreamed of. But now he must choose between Starla and his Rock & Roll career! WHY? Why can't he have both? Why is it either Starla's way (which involves a lot of driving on the highway) or the highway? What's going on? Is it the new millennium or not? Is Jason's wildness getting out of control? Dangerous, even? Is there anything else to eat besides squirrels? Why does Radiohead's new album "Kid A" sound like evil computers sucking down gigabytes of whale dong? These questions and a sensitive portrait of what life was like at the dawn of the 21st century will leave you haunted, delighted and panting for more. Full of the acrobatic writing-style Lacey Noonan is known for, her scintillating turns of phrase that sparkle on the page and dribble off your kindle with gooberous joy, "I DON'T CARE IF MY SASQUATCH LOVER SAYS THE WORLD IS EXPLODING, SHE'S HOT BUT I'M A BASS PLAYER AND THERE'S NOTHING HOTTER RIGHT NOW THAN RAP-ROCK" is the greatest book you will read all millennium! BONUS: Contains a DEFINITIVE LIST of The Top 100 Bands of All-Time that will leave you breathless and panting for more. The New Millennium is really heating up.

The adventure continues! Here it is, the long-awaited sequel to Lacey Noonan's hit: "I Don't Care if My Best Friend's Mom is a Sasquatch, She's Hot and I'm Taking a Shower With Her (...Because It's the New Millennium)." After narrowly escaping with their lives from the Lemaire family, Jason and Starla are now in a race against time to find the rendezvous point that will get them to Starla’s homeland. Why? Because Earth is about to blow the hell up, that's why! Which doesn’t keep our two sweethearts, of course, from stopping every forty-five minutes to make sweet, crypto-zoological love in any pond, pool or river they can find. The fresh air, the free love, the freedom of their Japanese crotch rocket vibrating beneath them... It’s a hell of a way to travel. But something isn’t right. Jason is beginning to suspect Starla doesn’t actually know where she’s going. It’s obvious she’s hiding something from him. And then one fateful night—just as they’re about to make contact with "her people" in a weird yet sensual symbiosis of sound at the top of a pine tree—their lives are forever changed... Because that’s when Jason abruptly joins 311, currently on tour with the Lilith Fair. The Rap-Rock genre has always called to Jason. It aligns with his wild-man tendencies. It’s everything he’s ever dreamed of. But now he must choose between Starla and his Rock & Roll career! WHY? Why can’t he have both? Why is it either Starla’s way (which involves a lot of driving on the highway) or the highway? What’s going on? Is it the new millennium or not? Is Jason's wildness getting out of control? Dangerous, even? Is there anything else to eat besides squirrels? Why does Radiohead’s new album "Kid A" sound like evil computers sucking down gigabytes of whale dong? These questions and a sensitive portrait of what life was like at the dawn of the 21st century will leave you haunted, delighted and panting for more. Full of the acrobatic writing-style Lacey Noonan is known for, her scintillating turns of phrase that sparkle on the page and dribble off your kindle with gooberous joy, "I DON'T CARE IF MY SASQUATCH LOVER SAYS THE WORLD IS EXPLODING, SHE'S HOT BUT I'M A BASS PLAYER AND THERE'S NOTHING HOTTER RIGHT NOW THAN RAP-ROCK" is the greatest book you will read all millennium! BONUS: Contains a DEFINITIVE LIST of The Top 100 Bands of All-Time that will leave you breathless and panting for more. The New Millennium is really heating up.

Life for Jason is one wild experience after another. But then one night he has a chance encounter with a person he thought was but a distant memory. The meeting dredges up a long-forgotten mystery, and suddenly he is trapped on a roller coaster of mystery, danger and wildness—more wildness than he ever knew existed! Now he is on the run with his star-crossed lover. Will they reach a shower in time, or will the natural heat that burns within her consume them both? Will his beautiful, bestial, furry lover tear him to pieces with her giant claws in a lusty rage? Or will she tenderly lather him up, rinse and clean his naked, muscular and strong (for a human) body with scented soaps in a ritual of her people going back thousands of generations in a shower appropriately large enough to fit him and the mysterious, yet tender and svelte creature together? Find out the answers to these questions only in this seriously wild, hot and bothered new novella from writer Lacey Noonan.

Are you a witless cretin with no reason to live? Would you like to know more about every piece of knowledge ever? Do you have cash? Then congratulations, because just in time for the death of the print industry as we know it comes the final book ever published, and the only one you will ever need: The Onion's compendium of all things known. Replete with an astonishing assemblage of facts, illustrations, maps, charts, threats, blood, and additional fees to edify even the most simple-minded book-buyer, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge is packed with valuable information -- such as the life stages of an Aunt; places to kill one's self in Utica, New York; and the dimensions of a female bucket, or "pail." With hundreds of entries for all 27 letters of the alphabet, The Onion Book of Known Knowledge must be purchased immediately to avoid the sting of eternal ignorance.

The riveting saga continues! Holly wakes up in a dirt person motel in the middle of nowhere with her runaway Obamacare Sex Robot, half-naked, sweaty with bliss. The night before she'd taken it to new levels. But now she has serious misgivings. She thought she was doing the right thing by stealing the robot away from her criminally sex-crazed husband Bradley, but now the entire country is after her with pitchforks 'n tazers. The police are after her. The army is after her. The Obamacare Death Panels are after her. Fatass Bethany is after her with her weird, fluffy albino pimp friend. Things really heat up when Holly and her Bama-Bot 2000 take a cool, relaxing swim in a high-risk pool in the woods. Soon the water is boiling around them with pleasure and a love that daresn't speak its name. (I'm talking what happens when bodies start slapping, people.) And then things heat up even hotter than that when the Death Panel Goons surround Holly and her new electronic lover, threatening everything just when she's decided her life is finally back on track. In the waning days of the Obama administration, things are really heating up for young female, woman, girl-conservative Holly McQuerty and her runaway pleasure robot that looks suspiciously like our 44th president, and if she's not careful, she just may get woke something fierce in the process. And that goes for you too, Sissy McSnowflake. Trigger warning: Doppelg�nger fingerbangers.

Covering over 10,000 idioms and collocations characterized by similarity in their wording or metaphorical idea which do not show corresponding similarity in their meanings, this dictionary presents a unique cross-section of the English language. Though it is designed specifically to assist readers in avoiding the use of inappropriate or erroneous phrases, the book can also be used as a regular phraseological dictionary providing definitions to individual idioms, cliches, and set expressions. Most phrases included in the dictionary are in active current use, making information about their meanings and usage essential to language learners at all levels of proficiency.

Haunted is a novel made up of twenty-three horrifying, hilarious, and stomach-churning stories. They’re told by people who have answered an ad for a writer’s retreat and unwittingly joined a “Survivor”-like scenario where the host withholds heat, power, and food. As the storytellers grow more desperate, their tales become more extreme, and they ruthlessly plot to make themselves the hero of the reality show that will surely be made from their plight. This is one of the most disturbing and outrageous books you’ll ever read, one that could only come from the mind of Chuck Palahniuk.