I figured it out! The chicken crossed the road to get away from the stupid rooster! I once asked a friend what her kittens name was and she replied; Free to good home! Time for bed! I plan on dreaming of paying all my bills with good checks! One time my mother made me so furious! So ?Ǫ I sent my teenagers to stay with her for awhile! My kids begged me for a pot belly pig. I said; "NO! I already had one and divorced it!Growing up I read anything funny I could get my hands on. I would follow my family members around reading jokes and funny stories. My dad still tells me I only crack myself up! I live to find the funny moments in life and make others laugh out loud.

Toilet Paper: Little four-year-old Mayson screamed for my daughter Amy to come and wipe his butt after he pooped. Amy said, "Mayson you're four years old. You can wipe your own butt!" She asked, "What do you do when you're at school and poop?" Little Mayson said. "Nothing! I just get shit in my pants!!" Razor: I was in the shower and I grabbed my razor to shave. I looked at it and it was full of hair a lot of hair! I jumped out of the shower soaking wet and confronted my husband about my razor. My husband pleaded the "It wasn't me" scenario! I said; "We don't have any hairy damn ghosts living in this house!" I pushed his head back with one hand and held my hairy razor to his face with my other hand. He screamed; "What? Are you doing?" I said; "I'm matching this hair up to what's left of your beard! If I find out this is your BALL hair I'm going to cut you with this hairy razor!!"

More than 100,000 copies sold! Any kid can be a comedian with a little help from award-winning author/illustrator Sandy Silverthorne's Crack Yourself Up Jokes for Kids. Perfect for kids ages 6-12, this zany collection of one-liners (Did you hear about the missing barber? Police are combing the city.), knock-knock jokes (Knock, Knock. Who's there? Pizza. Pizza who? Pizza nice guy, don't you think?), riddles (What's red and goes up and down? A tomato in an elevator.), puns, and funny lists represents some of the world's best clean humor. Add in the author's hilarious illustrations and cartoons, and kids will get hours of fun with the kind of laughs that make milk come out your nose--that is, if you're drinking milk while you read!

A self-portrait of a great writer 's rise and fall, intensely personal and etched with Fitzgerald's signature blend of romance and realism. The Crack-Up tells the story of Fitzgerald's sudden descent at the age of thirty-nine from glamorous success to empty despair, and his determined recovery. Compiled and edited by Edmund Wilson shortly after F. Scott Fitzgerald's death, this revealing collection of his essays—as well as letters to and from Gertrude Stein, Edith Wharton, T.S. Eliot, John Dos Passos—tells of a man with charm and talent to burn, whose gaiety and genius made him a living symbol of the Jazz Age, and whose recklessness brought him grief and loss. "Fitzgerald's physical and spiritual exhaustion is described brilliantly," noted The New York Review of Books: "the essays are amazing for the candor."

Did you hear about the guy who stole a trunk full of rubber bands? He was put away for a long stretch! Last night I slept in a ten-foot bed. That's a lot of bunk! Knock knock. Who's there? Dots? Dots who? Dots for me to know and you to find out! Full of wacky illustrations, hilarious jokes, and crazy tongue twisters--"Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager!"--More Crack Yourself Up Jokes for Kids promises hours of good clean fun and all-out belly laughs for kids ages 6-8. Perfect for lazy Sunday afternoons, long car or plane rides, and any time you need a laugh!

How many pizzas are delivered in Manhattan? How do you design an alarm clock for the blind? What is your favorite piece of software and why? How would you launch a video rental service in India? This book will teach you how to answer these questions and more. Cracking the PM Interview is a comprehensive book about landing a product management role in a startup or bigger tech company. Learn how the ambiguously-named "PM" (product manager / program manager) role varies across companies, what experience you need, how to make your existing experience translate, what a great PM resume and cover letter look like, and finally, how to master the interview: estimation questions, behavioral questions, case questions, product questions, technical questions, and the super important "pitch."

So many of us feel lost. We don't know where to turn. We don't trust ourselves or those around us. We're destabilized by uncertainty. We feel disappointed, disoriented, and disillusioned. We're overwhelmed. We lean too easily on fear instead of faith. There's a reason for that. It's because we don't know how to cope with Change. But Change is the very definition of what it means to live because life is experienced only through Change. So what happens when we resist, defy, or avoid Change? We interrupt the natural order and create disorder in our lives. The very fabric of our reality is imbued with Change. When we defy it, we defy ourselves. We lose our way. This process unfolds simply and predictably over time: Change appears in the form of something unforeseen. We feel uncertain, anxious, frustrated, worried, and fearful at this unexpected turn of events. We resist Change by creating stories of how we think things should've turned out. Our stories cause us to suffer because they are incongruent with reality. Suffering is disorienting and makes us give up our power of free will. When we feel powerless to choose, we abandon ourselves and feel lost. Change can be scary to experience, difficult to process, and harder yet to accept. But it's also the law of life. Whether it's a brutal breakup, a devastating death, a jarring job loss, a debilitating diagnosis, or a perilous pandemic; Change has a way of breaking open our hearts for something bigger, better, and more beautiful to enter our lives. But only if we know how to converse with it. In this thought-provoking self-help debut, Rackliffe shows you how to not just embrace Change, but completely transform your relationship with it--diving deep into the four steps of his RACE Model for Change: 1. Resist one thing only: Your resistance to Change. 2. Accept what you cannot Change so you may let go. 3. Choose to Change what you can by reclaiming your power to choose. 4. Embrace Change by remaining open to it in the future. This is how you find your way back to your true self when you feel lost. First, you stop identifying with the pain of your past. You quit telling yourself stories about how horrific or painful it was. You refuse to be a victim any longer. Next, you embrace your path of highest good in the present. This means using the light of your awareness to make more conscious choices that will support and nourish you, that will help you accept your opportunities to grow. The final step is to stop resisting Change in the future. When something unexpected happens that triggers you, do not react. Learn to lean on your faith. Trust that what happens is for your ultimate benefit even if you can't fathom how. Accept every unforeseen plot twist and embrace every perceived obstacle as an impetus to evolve. This is what it means to heal. This is what it means to find peace. This is what it means to truly live. As Rackliffe writes in the opening pages: "You've been guided to this book for a reason. If you've been looking for a sign, wishing for clarity, or hoping for direction, this is it. Your life is speaking to you through the words on these pages. Should you choose to listen, you will rediscover the truth of who you are. Should you accept this assignment, you will awaken the parts of you that you thought were lost forever. A homecoming of the soul awaits those who are brave enough to choose this path. All you have to do is give yourself permission to embrace it." From the pain of resistance to the peace of acceptance, and from the power of choosing to the bliss of being open to life, this is a voyage of resilience and redemption, fear and forgiveness, judgment and joy. Follow the RACE model for Change and you will always find your way back home to you. Choose to embark on this journey and you will learn to befriend Change. Choose the path of highest good laid out for you and you will finally be able to say, "It's Good to See Me Again."