There’s a new threat in town – and it’s only twelve inches tall. How to Survive a Garden Gnome Attack is the only comprehensive survival guide that will help you prevent, prepare for, and ward off an imminent home invasion by the common garden gnome. Once thought of as harmless garden decorations, evidence is mounting that these smiling lawn statues are poised and ready to wreck havoc. The danger is real. And it’s here. Class 1 gnome-slayer and gnome defence expert Chuck Sambuchino has developed a proven system – Assess, Protect, Defend, Apply – for safeguarding property, possessions, and loved ones. Strategies include step-by-step instructions for gnome-proofing the average dwelling, recognising and interpreting the signs of a gathering horde and – in the event that a secured perimeter is breached – confronting and combating the attackers at close range.

This is the intriguing story of garden gnomes and how they have come to reside in the flowerbeds of gardens across Britain. Originating in Europe, gnomes made the leap across the channel in the nineteenth century, where they were welcomed warmly by wealthy Brits who saw them as the must-have garden accessory. But the fortunes of the humble gnome were not to last, and they soon found themselves sneered at by serious gardeners. Turned away from fashionable gardens, the little gnomes found a friend in many a working class gardener, who adopted them in increasing numbers, and in a variety of humorous poses. Today, gnomes are as popular with the masses as ever, and this entertaining illustrated history will appeal to those who love, and hate, these small bearded characters.

A humorous guide to surviving in the wilderness, that also might make you want to avoid the wilderness forever. For more than twenty-five years, Uncle John’s Bathroom Reader has helped you learn amazing things you didn’t know. Now, Uncle John will show you how to do things you didn’t know how to do . . . and probably should never, never, never actually do, unless you’re in a survival situation and really, really, really need to do. It’s How to Fight a Bear . . . and Win. A new approach to survival guides and how-to books, this book provides step-by-step instructions for how to make do in any rugged terrain. But if you’re expecting “how to start a fire,” think again. This isn’t the kind of book that will tell you how to make a fire by rubbing two sticks together—it will tell you how to make a fire using a car battery. It will also tell you: · How to swing from a vine like Tarzan · How to land an airplane in an emergency · How to fight a bear . . . and win · How to perform emergency surgery in the woods · How to identify what insects you can—and cannot—eat And lots, lots more

Help is on the way! In the tradition of Lemony Snicket and Roald Dahl, Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop shows how to banish those pesky dark Fairy creatures who are ready to thwart every last pleasure, be it gardening, country hikes, or even getting a good night’s sleep. In this charming guide, "fairy hunter" Reginald Bakeley offers practical instructions to clear your home and garden of these unsettling inhabitants, and banish them from your chicken coop and kitchen cupboard forever! In Goblinproofing One’s Chicken Coop readers will discover: Why a bustle in one’s hedgerow may be cause for alarm Why a garden fumigator may come in handy on evenings at the pub Why a toy merchant, a butcher, and a Freemason are among your best allies in the fight against the fey Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop is the only complete manual on how to identify, track, defend, and destroy those bothersome brownies, goblins, dwarves, scheming flowerfairies, and other nasty members of the fairy realm.

Living the Promises is a personal, warm 365 reader includes quotes and exhortations, celebrations and lists of gratitude's, and all manner of real-life inspirations. Each month begins with a promise and each day explores that promise. Jenifer Madson shares her ongoing story of recovery: what it was like, what happened, and what it is like now, not with "drunkalogues," but with stories and sayings and strategies that will help you or someone you know get sober, stay sober, and live a life of joy. Living the Promises is the first meditation book to be based specifically on the 12 promises of the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, and is the perfect daily guide for anyone in recovery seeking peace and healing. Among those promises are: "We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change."--From The Promises, Alcoholics Anonymous: The Story of How Many Thousands of Men and Women Have Recovered from Alcoholism, 3rd ed.

Creating a platform isn't just beneficial--it's essential! In today's world of blogging, websites, Twitter feeds, and Facebook updates, building a writer platform from the ground up can seem a daunting task. Never fear--author and editor Chuck Sambuchino provides expert, practical advice for increasing your visibility, selling more books, and launching a successful career. In Create Your Writer Platform, you'll learn: • The definition of a platform--and why you should start building one now. • How to harness the 12 Fundamental Principles of Platform. • "Old School" and "New School" approaches to platform, from article writing and conference speaking to website development, blog posts, and social media avenues. • How to develop a platform for nonfiction, fiction, and memoir. In addition to Chuck's invaluable insights, you'll also find 12 case studies from authors with effective platforms, as well as professional advice from literary agents. If you're serious about building a platform tailored to you and your writing--a platform that's going to help you succeed as a writer--look no further than Create Your Writer Platform.

A book illustrating and explaining a series of strategems to keep squirrels from eating and ruining yards and gardens when more traditional tactics fail.