Here's Your Sign

Here's Your Sign
Title Here's Your Sign PDF eBook
Author Bill Engvall
Publisher Thomas Nelson
Pages 161
Release 2005-09-27
Genre Humor
ISBN 1418530530

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Stupid people are everywhere! "Last summer," says Bill Engvall, "I got a flat tire and pulled into a gas station lot. The attendant walked out, looked at the tire, and asked, 'Tire go flat?' I kept a straight face and replied, 'No, I was driving down the road when all of a sudden those other three just swelled right up on me.' Without batting an eyelash, he nodded his head and said, 'Yep. The heat'll do that.' What else could I say? I just reached intomy briefcase and handed him his very own Stupid sign." For the first time in print, here are more than 200 classic "Here's Your Sign" jokes?along with silly product warnings and some favorite family stories. Bill's hilarious look at the ridiculous things people say and do will keep you laughing. I was carrying out a bag of garbage the other day and my neighbor yelled across the fence, "Are you taking out the trash?" I said, "No, I'm going to feed our pet rats." Here's your sign! After fishing with a buddy, we pulled our boat into the dock and lifted out this big string of fish. A guy on the dock asked, "Y'all catch all them fish?" I said, "Nope. We talked them into giving up." Here's your sign!

Here's to Us

Here's to Us
Title Here's to Us PDF eBook
Author Elin Hilderbrand
Publisher Little, Brown
Pages 331
Release 2016-06-14
Genre Fiction
ISBN 0316375152

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Three romantic rivals in one crowded house equals plenty of room for jealousy in this surprising and heartwarming story from New York Times bestselling author Elin Hilderbrand. Laurel Thorpe, Belinda Rowe, and Scarlett Oliver share only two things; a love for the man they all married, Deacon Thorpe—a celebrity chef with an insatiable appetite for life—and a passionate dislike of one another. All three are remarkable, spirited women, but they couldn't be more different. Laurel: Deacon's high school sweetheart and an effortlessly beautiful social worker; Belinda: a high-maintenance Hollywood diva; and Scarlett: a sexy southern belle floating by on her family money and her fabulous looks. They've established a delicate understanding over the years—they avoid each other at all costs. But their fragile detente threatens to come crashing down after Deacon's tragic death on his favorite place on earth: a ramshackle Nantucket summer cottage. Deacon's final wish was for his makeshift family to assemble on his beloved Nantucket to say good-bye. Begrudgingly, Laurel, Belinda, and Scarlett gather on the island as once again, as in each of their marriages, they're left to pick up Deacon's mess. Now they're trapped in the crowded cottage where they all made their own memories—a house that they now share in more ways than one—along with the children they raised with Deacon, and his best friend. Laurel, Belinda, and Scarlett each had an unbreakable bond with Deacon—and they all have secrets to hide. Before the weekend is over, there are enough accusations, lies, tears, and drama to turn even the best of friends—let alone three women who married the same man—into adversaries. As his unlikely family says good-bye to the man who brought them together—for better or worse—will they be able to put aside their differences long enough to raise a glass in Deacon's honor?

We Are Here Forever

We Are Here Forever
Title We Are Here Forever PDF eBook
Author Michelle Gish
Publisher Quirk Books
Pages 229
Release 2019-07-30
Genre Comics & Graphic Novels
ISBN 1683691210

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It’s the most adorable apocalypse ever! Based on the popular webcomic, this all-new stand-alone comics collection artfully blends post-apocalyptic sci fi, dry humor, and utter adorability. The human race has vanished replaced by innocent, playful, creatures called the Puramus. In this hilarious and epic graphic novel, short interlocking stories follow the purple pals as they explore their new home, form a mini-monarchy, and develop a modern society on par with 21st-century humans. A final act pulls us across time and space in the search for clues to the origins of the Puramus. Along the way, humor and intrigue abound: Can King defend his village when nobody understands what war is? Will Jingle work up the nerve to read her poetry at open mic night? Will Puffpuff ever stop floating? Based on the webcomic, We Are Here Forever is for fans of post-apocalyptic sci fi blended with dry humor and undeniable adorableness. Colorful and cartoony art will have you rooting for these cute critters through their absurd adventures...but are they really as harmless as they seem?

The Casual Vacancy

The Casual Vacancy
Title The Casual Vacancy PDF eBook
Author J. K. Rowling
Publisher Little, Brown
Pages 550
Release 2012-09-27
Genre Fiction
ISBN 0316228559

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A big novel about a small town... When Barry Fairbrother dies in his early forties, the town of Pagford is left in shock. Pagford is, seemingly, an English idyll, with a cobbled market square and an ancient abbey, but what lies behind the pretty façade is a town at war. Rich at war with poor, teenagers at war with their parents, wives at war with their husbands, teachers at war with their pupils...Pagford is not what it first seems. And the empty seat left by Barry on the parish council soon becomes the catalyst for the biggest war the town has yet seen. Who will triumph in an election fraught with passion, duplicity, and unexpected revelations? A big novel about a small town, The Casual Vacancy is J.K. Rowling's first novel for adults. It is the work of a storyteller like no other.

God Hears Her

God Hears Her
Title God Hears Her PDF eBook
Author
Publisher Our Daily Bread Publishing
Pages 508
Release 2017-08-30
Genre Religion
ISBN 1627077553

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Take comfort in knowing that God hears you. The story of Hannah in 1 Samuel tells of one woman’s personal heartache and trust in the One who could fulfill her desires. She poured her heart out to God, and He heard her. The Our Daily Bread devotions selected for this collection reassure you that God is with you, God is for you, and God hears you. The personal stories and Scripture passages lift you up and remind you that God is bigger than the trials you face.

Here's to Your Dreams!

Here's to Your Dreams!
Title Here's to Your Dreams! PDF eBook
Author Dave Hollis
Publisher Thomas Nelson
Pages 36
Release 2022-11-08
Genre Juvenile Fiction
ISBN 1400231760

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In this adventure picture book that reinforces a child's self-esteem, father of four and New York Times bestselling author Dave Hollis draws on the themes of his popular video series "Teatime with Noah" to help kids believe in themselves, have courage, and chase after their dreams. The story begins with one of Daddy and Noah's beloved father-daughter tea parties, as Daddy encourages young Noah to follow her dreams. Young readers will delight to see the tea party transform into a fantastical adventure as Noah discovers that she wants to be a ship captain. But soon everything goes wrong. Noah doesn't know how to be a captain, and she doesn't even have a ship! When she starts to build her own, things go from bad to worse. Through each hardship, Daddy guides Noah, empowering her to ride the waves of life with courage. With vivid illustrations from Arief Putra and whimsical rhymes, Here's to Your Dreams! Is for ages 4 to 8 Encourages children to explore their own interests, pursue their dreams, and overcome obstacles Is a conversation-starter for topics such as self-esteem, bravery, and personal growth Is perfect for creating special daddy-daughter moments Is a great gift for birthdays, baby showers, adoption parties, gender reveal parties, and Father's Day With a fun and entertaining style, Dave Hollis tells a rollicking adventure story that encourages boys and girls to believe in themselves, not be afraid to make mistakes, and use their gifts--because nothing is out of their reach.

Slow Down

Slow Down
Title Slow Down PDF eBook
Author Nichole Nordeman
Publisher Thomas Nelson
Pages 209
Release 2017-08-22
Genre Religion
ISBN 0718099028

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The days are long, but the years are short. No matter if it’s your child’s first step, first day of school, or first night tucked away in a new dorm room away from home, there comes a moment when you realize just how quickly the years are flying by. Christian music artist Nichole Nordeman’s profound lyrics in her viral hit “Slow Down” struck a chord with moms everywhere, and now this beautiful four-color book will inspire you to celebrate the everyday moments of motherhood. Filled with thought-provoking writings from Nichole, as well as guest writings from friends including Shauna Niequist and Jen Hatmaker, practical tips, and journaling space for reflection, Slow Down will be a poignant gift for any mom, as well as a treasured keepsake. Take a few moments to reflect and celebrate the privilege of being a parent and getting to watch your little ones grow—and Slow Down. Nichole Nordeman has sold more than 1 million albums as a Christian music artist and has won 9 GMA Dove Awards, including two awards for Female Vocalist of the Year and Songwriter of the Year. Nichole released a lyric video for her song “Slow Down,” and it struck a chord with parents everywhere, amassing 14 million views in its first five days. She lives in Oklahoma with her two children.