This book aims to help therapists understand the challenges gay men face in their sex lives, providing professionals and gay men with evidence-based interventions and clinical tools to help them heal and live overall healthier lives. Gay men have unique and debilitating issues that can get in the way of them having pleasurable sex. Instead of sex being a space to learn about themselves, heal, release, and receive joy, for many sex is fraught with shame, anxiety, self-hate, and feeling isolated. Written for both professionals and the clients they treat, this book aims to heal sex-related wounds through sex and, in turn, improve every aspect of gay men’s mental health. The book begins by exploring what is special about gay men and sex before looking at assessing and presenting medical issues impacting sexual functioning, such as childhood trauma, attachment styles, body issues, anxiety, depression, long-term relationships and parenting, and hookup apps. It then moves onto clinical interventions to address these issues, with intake questionnaires and information on how to adapt sensate focus exercises, neuroscience, narrative, CBT, and somatic modalities to provide sex therapy interventions specific to gay men. With special focus on marginalized communities within the LGBTQIA+ community, such as trans men, BIPOC, aging, disabled, and chronically ill voices, this book is essential reading for sex therapists and mental health professionals working with gay men, as well as gay men themselves looking to live authentically and happily in their sexual lives.

This book is an invaluable resource manual and survival guide for gay men who often turn to peers, parents, educators, or the media for direction, only to encounter misleading myths about gay life, such as the notion that "coming out solves everything." For some gay men being homosexual is often anything but "gay." What are typically assumed to be "gay attributes" are often not characteristics of being gay but symptoms of common emotional disorders in gay men. In this insightful book, longtime psychiatrist Martin Kantor—who is himself a gay man and has been in a committed relationship for 27 years—documents the issues associated with coming out and the challenges of gay relationships, including friendship, marriage, "getting dumped," and sexuality, with unflinching and honest candor. He also addresses the emotional problems and pervasive sense of loneliness that frequently haunt gay men while examining subcultural issues which exist within the gay community, including ageism. Other topics include developing a gay lifestyle (being gay in a certain way), parental relationships, issues of midlife and aging, and therapy and self-help options for gay men who feel they need it.

For many men, the search for a fulfilling long-term relationship often ends in heartbreak and frustration. This groundbreaking book presents a step-by-step strategy for men who are serious about finding a life partner and establishing a committed relationship. Kaminsky puts the focus on the individual to help him understand what he wants (and needs) from a partner, how (and where) to find him, and how to form a healthy and happy relationship that just might last a lifetime!

Bestselling author Michelle McKinney Hammond (1.5 million relationship books sold) fields women's questions on love, men, dating, and marriage. With her unique "tell it like it is" style and compassionate understanding, Michelle helps readers navigate the male/female maze, including: "Get a Life"--Finding and creating opportunities to meet godly men "The Man/Woman Thing"--Understanding and appreciating gender differences "Closing the Deal"--Identifying deal breakers and deal makers while dating "Cheating, Lying, and Other Love Traps"--When to stay and when to leave "New Beginnings"--Gleaning wisdom from setbacks and then moving on "Marriage"--Exploring expectations and establishing traditions Everyone wants a love relationship, so why is it so hard to find and keep? Michelle answers the question and explores the ins and outs of love. "It's time to get down to the nitty-gritty and find out what makes love happen...It's time to engage our brains while following our hearts."

Domestic violence in gay male relationships is the third largest health problem for gay men in America today. Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them breaks the silence surrounding gay male domestic violence and exposes this hidden yet prevalent and destructive problem. The authors paint a vivid picture of gay men’s domestic violence, bringing its brutality to life by including personal narratives, written by one of the authors, by clearly defining what it is and what it is not through lists of violent acts and criminal code categories, and by thoroughly examining and analyzing the criminal, mental health, medical, political, and interpersonal issues involved. The authors boldly depart from the battered women’s literature by asserting that batterers have a diagnosable mental disorder, that battering is not gender based, and that much further criminalization of domestic violence is necessary.Striving for victim advocacy, the book underscores the idea that gay men’s domestic violence is totally unacceptable and is caused solely by individual abusive gay men who choose to batter. The book builds on and departs from what is known about domestic violence, with the authors challenging several fundamental premises in the literature, unabashedly identifying battering as a mental disorder. The authors explain that victims cannot stop their battering partners from battering and virtually all batterers choose to harm their partners in a premeditated fashion. The authors provide practical steps and suggestions for victims who want to leave and stay away from their violent partners and for friends who want to help battered gay men. Chapters describe the scope of the problem and refute myths and misconceptions. There are several detailed theory chapters in which the authors explain why gay men’s domestic violence occurs, who the batterers are, who the victims are at different stages of victimization, and how domestic violence can be stopped. A visionary, wide-ranging governmental and private plan of action is introduced, including lists of necessary laws and policies, as well as outlines of strong education, training, and advertising problems needed in various sectors of society. As a self-help book, Men Who Beat the Men Who Love Them provides practical information on a never-before discussed topic. As a trainer’s manual or teaching guide, it includes specific criteria for understanding the problem and for providing treatment.