Hi! I'm Dick. Can you help me find my balls? This is not the first time I have lost my balls.This book will bring you to tears laughing but is not a book to be read to children. A great book to give as a gag gift, fun gift, and more. It just needs to find a home with a person who has a fun sense of humor.

Behind the Bar takes you on a journey on what your everyday coworker, friend, husband, or wife will share with their favorite coach, the local bartender. It’s amazing the things people share, and do, with their local bartender. If you ever wanted to know what your coworker shares, visit your local bar or read Behind the Bar. If you ever wanted to know what your wife or husband shares, read Behind the Bar. In this book, you will read about secrets everyone has but no one shares, except with their local bartender. Be prepared to be riveted by the stories you read. You will find yourself in one of the characters, for sure.

“More than a national treasure, he’s a secret weapon. If we had had Gilbert Gottfried in World War II, Hitler would have given up in 1942.” —Stephen King In the early 1970s, as our nation’s youth railed against every conceivable societal norm, a funny-looking teenage Jew started turning up at open mike nights in various New York City comedy clubs. Surprisingly, he didn’t suck. That funny-looking teenage Jew is now the even funnier-looking middle-aged comedian Gilbert Gottfried, who despite his transparent shortcomings has managed to carve out a hardly-respectable career—and a reputation for shock and awe unrivaled outside the Bush administration. With this scathingly funny book of rants and musings, Gottfried sullies an entirely new medium with his dysfunctional worldview. Hilarious highlights include: Gut-wrenching stories from his bizarre childhood A list of celebrities Gilbert would like to have sex with A somewhat shorter list of celebrities who would like to have sex with Gilbert An even shorter list of Gilbert’s comely co-stars who have been forced to have sex with him on-screen Side-splitting tales of the worst gigs he’s ever performed Incredibly awkward encounters with famous people from Gilbert’s years as a celebrity (of sorts), including Harrison Ford, Kiefer Sutherland, Hugh Hefner and one wildly offensive exchange with Marlee Matlin that left the actress speechless Signature takes on timeless jokes, presented in a clip ‘n’ save format so humorless readers can commit them to memory or tear them from the book’s spine and carry them around in their wallets to amuse their friends The story behind Gilbert’s infamous retelling of the classic “Aristocrats” routine that defined the most recent phase of his career And much more!

"An honest look at life's second half from Everybody Loves Raymond TV sitcom star and comic Brad Garrett"--

Brandon McKinney is a man reborn. Newly awakened to the notion of consensual power exchange and the submissive urges inside him, he begs for a second chance from the man who opened his eyes to this world: Silicon Valley superstar Jonathan Watkins. But no birth is absent pain, and Brandon’s is no exception. He fears he’s not strong enough to see it through. Jonathan knows better. He’s seen the iron core inside his new submissive, and the wounded heart inside him too. He means to teach Brandon to heal the one with the other. They have five months left on their contract, after all, and Jonathan has done more with less before. It’s tough to stay objective, though, when you’re falling in love. Shame Brandon doesn’t feel the same. He’s only there for the six-million-dollar payout at contract’s end—a fact that Jonathan, nursing his own wounded heart, reminds himself of each day. For even as Brandon’s barriers break and his mind expands, even as he grows to love his place at Jonathan’s feet, he’ll never love life with a sadist—especially one who cannot escape the public eye. Lightly revised 2nd edition.

Desperation made her reach out. Desire made her do it. One Last Chance... Diana gave her husband the ultimatum to end all ultimatums. Sign the carefully crafted contract, submitting to her for ninety days, or sign the divorce papers she prepared. Grant knew he'd dropped the ball in their relationship, but he loved his wife and vowed to do whatever it took to fix things between them. Even if it meant opening their relationship to someone new. Brandon never thought his last client would change his life forever, giving him something he'd never had. Love and family.

* Please Note- This is part of a continuing series.New characters will be introduced all the time. If an ongoing series isn't for you,you may not want to begin the series. ( But I hope you step into the view! ) Step into the lives of the residents at the ParkCrest View. There's more drama going on with the people living here than you could ever imagine. Meet our resident Jazzlyn, a young teacher trying to make the most of her relationship with her first love and boyfriend of four years Darien.Jazzlyn is finding out first hand that all that glitters isn't gold. There's more to a relationship than having a good looking man on your arm.With an otherwise perfect life Jazzlyn feels secure with stepping out on her own . After all with family and great friends she's had since childhood how could she ever go wrong ? One of our newest residents Tyson James seems to have it all. Great looks a great career at one of the most acclaimed accounting firms in town.Tyson is friendly with everyone yet guards his personal life like Ft.Knox. Growing up the White son in an all African-American family of course posed it's challenges but he's all the better man for it.Find out about the secrets and lives...or is it lies ? Surrounding the residents at the ParkCrest View. Enjoy the ParkCrest View Novelettes. One in a continuing series! The perfect quick read. Book Excerpt : " Now I'ma tell you why I do fu** with you...because I know you want my black ass and I can. Let me hip you to some shit real fast Trevonne, I pulled your card the day I met your ass." Darien said chuckling " When I was working at Conways with you, you think I never saw you looking at me all the time? Hell yeah I did. But your ass thought you were too cute, I mean yeah you pretty or I wouldn't fuck with your ass at all, but you just knew I was gonna try to holla at your high yella ass! Then when you brought Jazzlyn to the Christmas party it was a wrap the minute we met...you know your ass fucked up trying to be all bougie and not bringing your ass on and talking to me right? I would have been all yours." Darien said laughing. " Let me also let your ass know this...you like fu**ing the sh** out of me behind your best friends back because deep in your mind you think you're better than her any damn way. Let me tell you something, Jazzlyn tops you in every department with her fine black ass. One thing that makes me love her the way I do...is because this shit right here. Between you and I? Would have never went down on Jazzlyn's watch. Believe that! Jazzlyn is loyal to her man and her friends and at the end of the day. That's the type of female a nigga like me want on his team. All day every day." Darien said looking Trevonne dead in her face. " That's not true Darien" Trevonne said. Barely able to speak tears streaming down her face " I love Jazzlyn like a sister I do. I know this is fucked up what we're doing, you don't think I realize that?"Trevonne asked. Darien got out of the bed and walked over to Trevonne. "Don't cry baby, I wasn't trying to make you cry or no sh** like that but I do keep it real with you at all times. Hell,as fu**ed up as it is...I'm completely honest with you and lied to Jazzlyn." Darien gently held the sides of Trevonne's faces and wiped her tears away and leaned down and began kissing her slow and deep. He was ready for round two. Tags: ebooks, freebies, urban fiction free, african american , Urban Fiction, African American Romance, Urban Romance, Black Romance, Black Authors, Urban books black authors, urban books black authors , african american books, free books, free full books by candace mumford, urban romance,ms.bam,interracial romance,African-American romance