You hold in your hands a recently discovered poetry journal—the poetry journal of a vampire. William Butten was en route to a new land on the Mayflower when he was turned into a vampire by a fellow passenger, a beautiful woman named Katherine. These pages contain his heartbreaking story—the story of a vampire who has lived through (and perhaps caused) some of America's defining events. As he travels the country and as centuries pass, he searches for his lost love and records his adventures and misadventures using the form of poetry known as haiku. As Butten documents bloody wars, a certain tea party in Boston, living the high life during the Great Depression, two Woodstock festivals, the corruption of Emily Dickinson, and hanging out with Davy Crockett, he keeps to the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure of haiku. The resulting poems are hilarious, repulsive, oddly romantic, and bizarre. Read along, and you just may find a new appreciation for—and insight into—various events in American history. And blood.

Dear haiku journal, I think I killed some people. That was no dog bite. This journal contains the poetic musings of a mailman who, after being bitten by what he thinks is a dog, discovers that he is actually now a werewolf. Wreaking havoc wherever he goes, he details his new life and transformations in the 5-7-5 syllable structure of haiku—his poetry of choice. Follow along as our werewolf poet slowly turns from a mostly normal man into the hairy beast that he cannot keep trapped inside. And watch out for carnage when he changes and becomes hungry. No toenail, no entrail, no pigtail will be left behind. And talk about wreaking havoc: His newfound claws and teeth have sent his clothing budget through the roof! He is in love with a woman on his route, but he has never had the courage to tell her. As he fights against his urges during each full moon, he discovers that succumbing to his primal instincts will not only bag him a good meal—it just might help him in his quest for love…Or maybe not.

When her father loses his status as Japan's most prominent Yakuza mob boss, Misake travels to South Texas as a college student with the hopes of engaging a notorious Latino vampire named Uriel Santana. After a whirlwind courtship, she seduces and manipulates Uriel to turn her into another vampire, and then returns to Japan as an immortal to help her father regain power in Tokyo's criminal underworld. Poised to reign supreme in Tokyo forever, Misake learns that she is now on the vampire's Most Wanted criminal list for her indiscretions. The governing body in New Orleans dispatches bounty hunter and vampire/warlock hybrid Cyprian Dugas to hunt her down, who happens to be falling for the Japanese bloodsucker. To make matters worse, Queen Mictecacihuatl - the Lady of El Dia de Los Muertos and Goddess creator of Uriel's vampire Latinx coven - feels spurned by Misake's ruse and vows to get revenge by any means necessary. The first book in The Vampire Haiku Chronicles, experience the fusion of Japanese and Hispanic folklore in an epic urban fantasy that begins in the rich Latinx culture of South Texas, parlays into the alluring history of Cajun/African-American New Orleans, and finishes across the sweeping landscape of modern day Japan.

In your hands is a poetry journal written by an undead poet, recounting his firsthand experience during the zombie plague. Little is known about the author before he turned into a zombie, but thanks to his continued writings in this journal - even after his death - you can accompany him from infection to demise. Through the intimate poetry of haiku, the zombie chronicles his epic journey through deserted streets and barricaded doors. Each three-line poem, structured in the classic 5-7-5 syllable structure, unravels a little more of the story. You'll love every eye-popping, gut-wrenching, flesh-eating page!

The classic Bubba figure is portrayed in Japanese-style verse, addressing the whole spectrum of redneck culture from RVs and Wal-Mart to monster trucks, and hunting.

More Brains... Some race. Some lurch. Others come crawling, limping, staggering—dragging themselves toward anyone who might still have a pulse. Zombies invade the island of Manhattan, and they are hungry. The story of the zombie apocalypse is told through the eyes of Dawn, a ten-year-old girl who has been well-schooled in the undead because of her father's love of zombie movies. As the zombies approach, Dawn and her dad realize the time has come to implement their Zombie Escape Plan, so they gather friends and escape to the Statue of Liberty. Only... the plan doesn't go quite as expected. Dawn documents their downfall in her haiku journal, where the limb-snapping, eye-popping, bone-crunching zombies eventually make her one of their own. In gory detail, and sometimes channeling her favorite poets, she describes the gruesome scenes before her—and her own frightening impulses.

Lesbian sex has been confounding people since the dawn of time. What is it that two women do together exactly? The Lesbian Sex Haiku Book (with Cats!) is a humorous guide to lesbian sex, dating rituals, and relationships, and aims to dispel all myths. Haiku paired with hilarious watercolor illustrations of cats in various stages of sexual awkwardness will enlighten, demystify, remystify, and most importantly entertain as you learn about all the aspects involved in girl-on-girl action. From lesbian pick-up lines: Pronounce Annie Proulx's name correctly—watch lady's cargo pants fall off. To icebreaker haiku for first dates: It has been MANY years, but I'm not done griping about The L Word. To, of course, the mechanics of lesbian sex: It's like straight sex but afterwards we ask ourselves, "We just had sex, right?" Lesbian sex is like water polo—no one really knows the rules. This laugh-out-loud book is the perfect gift to amuse and educate your friends, loved ones, and lovers.