This helpful guide reveals how those who have been emotionally abused can overcome the past and rebuild their self-image.

"Engel doesn't just describe-she shows us the way out." -Susan Forward, author of Emotional Blackmail Praise for theemotionally abusive relationship "In this book, Beverly Engel clearly and with caring offersstep-by-step strategies to stop emotional abuse. . . helping bothvictims and abusers to identify the patterns of this painful andtraumatic type of abuse. This book is a guide both for individualsand for couples stuck in the tragic patterns of emotionalabuse." -Marti Loring, Ph.D., author of Emotional Abuse and coeditor of The Journal of Emotional Abuse "This groundbreaking book succeeds in helping people stop emotionalabuse by focusing on both the abuser and the abused and showingeach party what emotional abuse is, how it affects therelationship, and how to stop it. Its unique focus on the dynamicrelationship makes it more likely that each person will grasp thetools for change and really use them." -Randi Kreger, author of The Stop Walking on Eggshells Workbook and owner of BPDCentral.com The number of people who become involved with partners who abusethem emotionally and/or who are emotionally abusive themselves isphenomenal, and yet emotional abuse is the least understood form ofabuse. In this breakthrough book, Beverly Engel, one of the world'sleading experts on the subject, shows us what it is and what to doabout it. Whether you suspect you are being emotionally abused, fear that youmight be emotionally abusing your partner, or think that both youand your partner are emotionally abusing each other, this book isfor you. The Emotionally Abusive Relationship will tell you how toidentify emotional abuse and how to find the roots of yourbehavior. Combining dramatic personal stories with action steps toheal, Engel provides prescriptive strategies that will allow youand your partner to work together to stop bringing out the worst ineach other and stop the abuse. By teaching those who are being emotionally abused how to helpthemselves and those who are being emotionally abusive how to stopabusing, The Emotionally Abusive Relationship offers the expertguidance and support you need.

Does your partner blame you for his or her own problems? Does your partner humiliate you, especially in front of others? Is your partner impossible to please? Are you convinced something is wrong with you? Are you too ashamed to admit you are being abused? In Escaping Emotional Abuse, Beverly Engel, world-renowned therapist and expert in emotional abuse, exposes techniques an abuser uses to break your spirit and gain control - and guides you in how to free yourself from the shame that can keep you from the life, and the love, that you deserve. By using your deepest fears against you, the abuser strips you of self-esteem, dignity, and humanity - making you feel unworthy and utterly powerless to escape. But you possess a potent tool with which to combat shame: self-compassion. In these pages, Engel shows you how to access it. Using her highly effective Shame Reduction Program, she helps you jumpstart the process of recovery by offering specific steps to help you heal and regain self-confidence. An invaluable resource for both men and women who suffer from emotional abuse, as well as therapists and advocates, Escaping Emotional Abuse is a supportive, nurturing guide for anyone seeking to break the chains of shame, and gain the emotional freedom to create healthier, lasting relationships.

The lack of language to identify emotional abuse and its aftermath among couples is a major barrier to recognition and treatment. From Charm to Harm breaks down this barrier by providing simple words and definitions that name and explain harmful interactions between intimate partners. Many of these interactions, although emotionally toxic, are hard to distinguish from the normal experience of being in a relationship. From Charm to Harm will empower you to recognize and describe the psychological destruction wrought by an intimate partner who claims to love you. It will provide you with ways to protect yourself and your loved ones in current and future relationships. Determine if your mate is emotionally abusive, the effects on you, and how you may be enabling the abuse. Find out how and why charm turns to harm when one partner has a deep-seated need to control the other partner. Discover why people abuse their lovers, why their lovers allow it, how it happens, and its aftermath. Learn how easy it is to get caught up in the oppressive cycle of emotional abuse and how you might be contributing to your own suffering. Learn how to stand up to an abusive partner, get treatment for both partners, and make the choice to leave or stay in the relationship. From Charm to Harm will help you stop the cycle of emotional abuse and claim your right to be loved and respected by your mate.

From the introduction by Joel Dvoskin, Ph.D.: "But what happens when no one has the courage to intervene, to prevent the pain of another? While Zak Mucha's explanation of the harms of emotional abuse is useful, it pales in comparison to his wisdom in teaching us emotional self-defense. Learning to protect ourselves from emotional abuse changes everything. The victim no longer has to hope for the kindness of strangers, or that the abuser will simply get tired of their verbal assaults. "Thanks to this wonderful book, each of us can learn to be our own hero, by learning some simple yet powerful ways to respond to emotional abuse. "You are about to go on a journey that is at once deeply personal and scientifically valid. This book has been waiting a long time to be written." * Like any self-defense, we have to first identify "what hurts." We have to recognize our own pain. We have been socialized to believe emotional abuse is not serious. We have been taught emotional abuse itself is nothing more than "hurt feelings" and there is no "real" evidence other than the victim's complaints. And if the only evidence is the victim's complaints, we wrongly justify, there is no way to verify whether a person was "actually hurt." The victim of emotional abuse is dismissed precisely because he or she cannot "prove" their feelings. Emotional abuse creates a vicious dynamic where the victim is taught his or her feelings do not count and any pain suffered is, somehow, their own fault. Like any other abuse, emotional abuse is about power. Whoever can define reality has the ultimate power. In emotional abuse, the aggressor attempts to define reality with statements like, "You're too sensitive," and "I couldn't help it. You made me mad." Each statement is an attempt to shape how another person perceives reality. Our self-defense depends on our willingness to identify the boundaries that define who we are and the criteria we desire for relationship. In doing this, we can defend ourselves and define our selves.

Whether caused by words, actions, or even indifference, emotional abuse is common--yet often overlooked. This helpful guide reveals how those who have been abused by a spouse, parent, employer, or minister can overcome the past and rebuild their self-image. It includes •strategies for dealing with the verbal abuser •self-check quizzes with each chapter •keys to rebuilding relationships •letters from survivors of emotional abuse •help dealing with spiritual abuse •a biblical plan for healing

You didn’t think anyone could hurt you like this, but now that you’re in or have experienced an abusive relationship, what do you do? Abuse—whether through hurtful words, degrading looks, obscene gesture, or threatening behavior—inflicts immense pain and impedes emotional growth. We have all been wounded by hurtful words and actions of others—whether the bully at school, the demeaning boss, a rage-filled driver, or someone in our own family. We often carry those wounds with us for a lifetime. June Hunt has a message for you: it is possible to stop the pain of abuse. Learn biblical truths and practical advice on how to: Stop the abuse Heal the pain of the past Foster peace in all your relationships Learn all forms of abuse and what to pay attention to when a relationship gives off warning signs. Also included in the definitions section are biblical examples of verbal and emotional abuse. This mini-book will shed light on the characteristics of verbal and emotional abuse, words used in abusive conversations, methods of sabotage, and examples of what the victims may experience when dealing with an abusive relationship. Discover the causes of a person who abuses others and answer hard questions like, “How can he be so cruel?” and “How can she be so insensitive?” The last section, titled “Steps to Solution,” gives you practical advice on how to put an end to verbal and emotional abuse with: 7 steps to victory over verbal abuse 6 steps to an action plan 8 steps for how to confront and cope with emotionally abusive people Honesty test for those who may be abusive 5 steps to building personal boundaries Perfect for small groups and Bible studies, Sunday school, young adult and youth ministry, chaplaincy, Christian counseling, addiction and recovery programs, church giveaways, etc.