As a woman used to traveling and living the high life in Bangkok, Leanne Shirtliffe recognized the constant fodder for humor while pregnant with twins in Asia’s sin city. But in spite of deep-fried bug cuisine and nurses who cover newborn bassinets with plastic wrap, Shirtliffe manages to keep her babies alive for a year with help from a Coca-Cola deliveryman, several waitresses, and a bra factory. Then she and her husband return home to the isolation of North American suburbia. In Don’t Lick the Minivan, Shirtliffe captures the bizarre aspects of parenting in her edgy, honest voice. She explores the hazards of everyday life with children such as: The birthday party where neighborhood kids took home skin rashes from the second-hand face paint she applied. The time she discovered her twins carving their names into her minivan’s paint with rocks. The funeral she officiated for “Stripper Barbie.” The horror of glitter. And much more! Shirtliffe eventually realizes that even if she can’t teach her kids how to tie their shoelaces, she’s a good enough mom. At least good enough to start saving for her twins’ therapy fund. And possibly her own. Shirtliffe’s memoir might not replace a therapist, but it is a lot cheaper.

The authors of Snaps offer a humorous collection of the best and worst one-line gambits used by men on women, organized into such categories as Bar Lines, Celebrity Lines, and Politically Correct Lines. Original.

Philip Mizzou thinks that life as a Fly By Night moving man is an ideal way to see sights and to meet people in beautiful San Francisco. But when Fly By Night goes belly up, he and fellow Easy Mover Big John Yelverton strike out on their own in a partnership that leads to strange hallucinations and world-renown counterfeiters. Meet exotic dancer Pandora Boxxe, her jaded beau Knuckles the bouncer, plus E. X. Queasy; the man with huge appetite and mysterious past. Laugh-a-minute adventures guide you up and down the rolling hills of northern California, then through majestic Yosemite Valley, while two Easy Movers traverse roads of international intrigue and undercover law enforcement--but watch out for steep inclines and close encounters with the legendary Bigfoot!

The foundations of health and wellbeing are laid down in pregnancy and the early years. Health for all Children takes a life course approach to child health, starting in pregnancy and extending to the age of seven to include transition into school, and to cover the foundation years in education. This new edition summarizes the evidence supporting preventive health care and health promotion; providing an effective, community-based response to the needs of families and children. Each chapter summarizes evidence of effectiveness in the topic area, in health promotion, and in universal and selective interventions. The fifth edition starts in pregnancy and runs until age seven taking into account Government policies and different models of delivery of the child health programme. Evidence from all over the world is critically appraised and referenced to UK policy and practice. Health for all Children summarizes the evidence about 'why' and 'what works' in health promotion and health surveillance with children and families, providing guidance on how to implement and quality assure a programme, and the competencies needed. Each chapter includes 'learning links' to online training materials and e-learning for health, or to resources freely available to practitioners. This established, evidence-based book continues to be essential reading for all health professionals who work with children. It will also provide vital background knowledge for those charged with the responsibility of planning, commissioning, and monitoring child health.

Robert Heinlein's Hugo Award-winning all-time masterpiece, the brilliant novel that grew from a cult favorite to a bestseller to a science fiction classic. Raised by Martians on Mars, Valentine Michael Smith is a human who has never seen another member of his species. Sent to Earth, he is a stranger who must learn what it is to be a man. But his own beliefs and his powers far exceed the limits of humankind, and as he teaches them about grokking and water-sharing, he also inspires a transformation that will alter Earth’s inhabitants forever...

So you're a mom and you've often thought, I wish someone had told me this would happen. Or you're about to be a mom and you're wondering if anyone is telling you the truth about what to expect. Look no further. New author Miranda Lobs reveals the truth along with a few dozen laughs in this poignant and honest story about becoming a mother. With quotes from over 100 moms, What No One Ever Told Me about Motherhood gives new and quirky insight into the world of motherhood, including such topics as: bull; Delivery and recovery bull; What really happens to your body after children bull; The difference between girls and boys bull; Your kid becoming 'that kid' bull; Competitive mommies and mommy time-outs bull; And what really happens to your marriage after children. If you're already a mom, What No One Ever Told Me about Motherhood will provide you that much yearned for break with fast-paced, relatable chapters. If you're anticipating motherhood, finally, a book that reveals the secrets about becoming a mom that until now you had to wait to learn.