Once I was a sane, levelheaded professional woman. Then I said “yes.” Now I am the lunatic bride I always made fun of! What is it about getting married that turns normal people into total freaks? A savvy, riotously funny novel, Diary of a Mad Bride is for anyone who has ever been a bride, is about to become a bride, yearned to be a bride, or suffered the sheer indignity of appearing in public in the world’s ugliest bridesmaid dress.... My wedding was starting in less than twenty minutes, and I was stuck in a 7-Eleven parking lot with popcorn kernels wedged in my gums and vanilla ice cream melting on my dress. It was a disaster too large to comprehend. After an agonizing year spent planning my wedding, could it really end like this? The voices chronicling a year of wedding hysteria swirled in my head.... — My grandmother upon viewing my engagement ring: “What do you mean he gave you an emerald! Diamonds are eternal, emeralds say, maybe five years.” — My future father-in-law on the night of my engagement party: “To a happy marriage and, if necessary, a painless divorce!” — My best friend, Anita: “Oh, screw congratulations. Of course I’m happy for you. Stephen’s a major piece of ass and he’s got a sense of humor. Just as long as you’re certain this is what you want.” Would I survive this day after all....?

Amy, the quirky heroine of "Diary of a Mad Bride, " has survived her wedding with aplomb, only to find herself yearning for the patter of little feet. Next stop: parenthood!

A diary account of thirteen-year-old Anetka's life in Poland in 1896, immigration to America, marriage to a coal miner, widowhood, and happiness in finally finding her true love.

'Either we're having a baby or getting a cat. And since our lease says no pets, I guess it's a baby!' Happily married to Stephen for two years, Amy wants a baby. And it's supposed to be so easy: throw away the contraception, get an obstetrician - right? Wrong. With the help of BABY HOW, BABY NOW magazine [Fifty pages on how to conceive! How do teenage mothers do it?] and an inaudible gynaecologist she dubs the Crotch Whisperer, Amy finds there's much more to getting pregnant than meets the eye. And once you've managed it, things don't necessarily improve. There's the all-day morning sickness. The ban on sushi. Prenatal yoga. Amy can only hope it will all be worth it in the end. She's determined to have her baby without derailing her career, losing her sex appeal or disrupting those fragile relationships with family and friends. Ha! If only life were that simple...

Afterword by Steven Rimbauer Aligned with the TV miniseries, 'Stephen King's Rose Red', comes the publication of this rare document, offering a window into one woman's hidden emotional torment, and a record of the mysterious events at Rose Red that scandalized aristocratic society in the early 1900s - events that can only be fully understood now that the the diary has come to light, following the development of a girl into womanhood as well as the construction of the mansion that would become the site of horrific and inexplicable tragedies.

From the headline-making, New York Times bestselling author of I Hate Everyone...Starting With Me comes another intimate glimpse into the delightfully hilarious mind of Joan Rivers. When her daughter Melissa gives her a diary for Christmas, at first Joan is horrified—who the hell does Melissa think she is? That fat pig, Bridget Jones? But as Joan, being both beautiful and introspective, begins to record her day-to-day musings, she realizes she has a lot to say. About everything. And everyone, God help them. The result? A no-holds-barred, delightfully vicious and always hilarious look at the everyday life of the ultimate diva. Follow Joan on a family vacation in Mexico and on trips between New York and Los Angeles where she mingles with the stars, never missing a beat as she delivers blistering critiques on current events, and excoriating insights about life, pop culture, and celebrities (from A to D list), all in her relentlessly funny signature style. This is the Diary of a Mad Diva. Forget about Anais Nin, Anne Frank, and Sylvia Plath. For the first time in a century, a diary by someone that’s actually worth reading.