When Buzzle Billy stops sharing, Gimme Hands pop out of his sides and no one wants to play with him anymore.

For the love of Bessie, grab a glass of milk, pull up a comfy chair, and partake of a cow tale or two These 40 stories by farmers and ranchers in the U.S. and Canada will open your eyes to what really goes on in those pastoral scenes with Holsteins, Jerseys, and other cattle breeds. Read about a 101-year-old cowgirl, close calls with bulls, cows and cops, steer roping, cattle branding, herds escaping, and the lovely dairy princesses promoting the healthful dairy industry. Be an armchair traveler with "Miss Lait" (Miss Milk) on her 1954 trip to France, meet a cow called "Grandma," read up on milking cows with baseball players, and see how butter magically turns into the likenesses of princesses. Meet "Patty" and "Paige" - - the Mother's Day cows, follow "Ferdy" the friendly bull, and learn about "Lulu" - - on the loose. "True Cow Tales is a true joy to read. If you have an association with livestock agriculture you will enjoy these short stories and poems. These brought back many memories of growing up on our family farm. True Cow Tales ought to be a part of everyone's family library and should be shared over and over." - Ken Rahjes, Farm Broadcaster for KRVN Radio, Lexington, Nebraska "As the world is further removed from agriculture, it's increasingly important to learn more about your sources of food, fiber and fuel. True Cow Tales is a truly moo-ving tribute to the beef and dairy industries, from the joy of buying your first cow and naming her Patty - yes, Cow Patty - to the wonder of watching a cow nurse an orphaned calf to the sorrow of no longer being able to financially support your farm. This anthology vividly depicts the importance of agriculture through a collection of stories and poems about the lives of farm animals and the dedicated people who care for them." - James Henry, AgriNews Publications Executive Editor "This anthology is an interesting gathering of a wide variety of stories and reminiscences regarding acquaintances and encounters with cattle." - Heather Smith Thomas, rancher and author of Storey's Guide to Raising Beef Cattle (1998); Essential Guide to Calving (2008); Cattle Health Handbook (2009); and more than 9000 stories and articles about cattle and horses. Ever moo to a cow - - or try not to? You may love cows more than you even realized. For a laugh, check out "Cattle Sillies." Need some adventure? Then turn to "Bovine Drama." Favorite cows are the theme of a chapter by that name. For a walk down "memory lane," flip to "Bovine Wistfulness." And for something quite different, enter the world of "Dairy Princesses" and meet the beautiful young women who love cows and spend an entire year of their lives promoting the dairy industry and handing out milk and cheese samples. Cheddar anyone? Follow your "inner moo." Read these stories for old time's sake, or just come along for the ride. And don't forget to drink your milk

Max feels bad after he lies to his mother in order to see a scary movie. Includes a related Bible verse.

The political humorist shares his transformation from dirty hippie to conservative middle-aged grouch: “An incorrigible comic gift” (The New York Times Book Review). The #1 New York Times–bestselling author of Give War a Chance was at one time a raving pinko, with scars on his formerly bleeding heart to prove it. In Age and Guile: Beat Youth, Innocence, and a Bad Haircut, P. J. O’Rourke chronicles the remarkable trajectory that took him from the lighthearted fun of the revolutionary barricades to the serious business of the nineteenth hole. How did the O’Rourke of 1970, who summarized the world of “grown-ups” as “materialism, sexual hang-ups, the Republican party, uncomfortable clothes, engagement rings, car accidents, Pat Boone, competition, patriotism, cheating, lying, ranch houses, and TV” come to be in favor of all of those things? What caused his metamorphosis from a beatnik-hippie type comfortable sleeping on dirty mattresses in pot-addled communes during his days as a writer for assorted “underground” papers? Here, O’Rourke shows how his socialist idealism and avant-garde aesthetic tendencies were cured, and how he acquired a healthy and commendable interest in national defense, balanced budgets, Porsches, and Cohiba cigars. From a former editor-in-chief of National Lampoon and frequent NPR guest, this hilarious essay collection shows that there’s hope for all those suffering from acute bohemianism.

Helpful Hal shows Sam and Sue the importance of helping their parents by doing chores such as hanging up clothes, washing the car, and feeding the cat. Includes a related Bible verse.

Lars loves to help, but sometimes his exuberance causes more harm than good.