This is a selection of writings on themes of trauma and transformation, hope and anguish, in a time of reckoning. The first section offers biographical fragments about life after the "bulldozer" runs you over. How do you get up? How do you live with others who don't understand? How do you keep walking? They draw upon life experiences in Boston, Iona, and New Jersey. Faith is not so much about agreeing with doctrine, but a dynamic, active, seeking, questioning, trust in God. It includes both audacity and humility. The second section draws upon fragments of historical reflection, "On Violent Innocence, Mourning, and Metanoia in New Jersey." This is an exploration of the principality of white racism, state-based violence, and exploitation of the poor. It asks the question: How did the Confederate flag get in the front window of the Presbyterian church on Lincoln's birthday? Some of the white terrorism that happened at the Capitol is prefigured here. Yet there is grace hidden in judgment. We cannot heal from what we do not name. The third section contains fragments of prophetic wisdom from Lorna Goodison, Richard Fenn, Mike Gecan, Karen Hernandez-Granzen, and Archange Antoine. Along with Traci West and Chris Hedges, their voices are strong and true.

This is a selection of writings on themes of trauma and transformation, hope and anguish, in a time of reckoning. The first section offers biographical fragments about life after the "bulldozer" runs you over. How do you get up? How do you live with others who don't understand? How do you keep walking? They draw upon life experiences in Boston, Iona, and New Jersey. Faith is not so much about agreeing with doctrine, but a dynamic, active, seeking, questioning, trust in God. It includes both audacity and humility. The second section draws upon fragments of historical reflection, "On Violent Innocence, Mourning, and Metanoia in New Jersey." This is an exploration of the principality of white racism, state-based violence, and exploitation of the poor. It asks the question: How did the Confederate flag get in the front window of the Presbyterian church on Lincoln's birthday? Some of the white terrorism that happened at the Capitol is prefigured here. Yet there is grace hidden in judgment. We cannot heal from what we do not name. The third section contains fragments of prophetic wisdom from Lorna Goodison, Richard Fenn, Mike Gecan, Karen Hernandez-Granzen, and Archange Antoine. Along with Traci West and Chris Hedges, their voices are strong and true.

A compassionate, shame-free guide for your darkest days “A one-of-a-kind book . . . to read for yourself or give to a struggling friend or loved one without the fear that depression and suicidal thoughts will be minimized, medicalized or over-spiritualized.”—Kay Warren, cofounder of Saddleback Church What happens when loving Jesus doesn’t cure you of depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts? You might be crushed by shame over your mental illness, only to be told by well-meaning Christians to “choose joy” and “pray more.” So you beg God to take away the pain, but nothing eases the ache inside. As darkness lingers and color drains from your world, you’re left wondering if God has abandoned you. You just want a way out. But there’s hope. In I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die, Sarah J. Robinson offers a healthy, practical, and shame-free guide for Christians struggling with mental illness. With unflinching honesty, Sarah shares her story of battling depression and fighting to stay alive despite toxic theology that made her afraid to seek help outside the church. Pairing her own story with scriptural insights, mental health research, and simple practices, Sarah helps you reconnect with the God who is present in our deepest anguish and discover that you are worth everything it takes to get better. Beautifully written and full of hard-won wisdom, I Love Jesus, But I Want to Die offers a path toward a rich, hope-filled life in Christ, even when healing doesn’t look like what you expect.