We all love to have that perfect phrase for that perfect moment. As Goldwyn Smith once said, Nothing can stand against a really resolute quoter. Find some of the greatest, funniest and most memorable words spoken by Canadians in this easy-to-use collection. - I just am a Canadian. It is not a thing which you can escape from. It is like having blue eyes. -Robertson Davies - What we do should have a Canadian character. Nobody looks his best in somebody else's clothes. -Vincent Massey - The beginning of Canadian cultural nationalism was not Am I really that oppressed? but Am I really that boring? -Margaret Atwood - Most Americans don't understand Canadian political parties. Neither do most Canadians. -Eric Nicol - Where Canadians got the monotone that you're listening to now I don't know - probably from the Canada goose. -Northrup Frye - I didn't know at first that there were two languages in Canada. I just thought that there was one way to speak to my father and another to speak to my mother. -Louis St. Laurent - Canada is a country whose main exports are hockey players and cold fronts. Our main imports are baseball players and acid rain. -Pierre Trudeau - Hudson's Bay is certainly a country that Sinbad the Sailor never saw, as he makes no mention of mosquitoes. -David Thompson - The Americans are our best friends whether we like it or not. -Robert Thomson - If some countries have too much history, we have too much geography. -William Lyon MacKenzie King. And many more...

The Great White North is revealed as the Great Weird North in this entertaining tome from the best-selling Bathroom Reader series. Did you know that Canada was almost called Hochelaga? That’s just one of thousands of wacky facts awaiting readers in Uncle John’s quirky celebration of Earth’s second largest country. You’ll find page after page of bizarre history (like why the beaver was once classified as a fish), plus head-scratching news items (like the crook who returned to the Tim Hortons he’d just robbed to tip the workers), odd places to go (like Mr. Spock’s birthplace in a town called Vulcan), and crazy eats (like the restaurant that makes you eat in complete darkness). So whether you live in Come By Chance, Joe Batt’s Arm, Starvation Cove, or anywhere else inside (or outside) of Canada, yukon count on Uncle John to deliver a world of weirdness from all over this great country. For example: - Cow-patty bingo in Alberta (Rule #1: Wear gloves) - How to enforce the new Quebec law that requires dogs to be bilingual - The sea of Molson Golden that once shut down an Ontario freeway - The mystery of the mini earthquakes in a New Brunswick town - Why it’s illegal to kill a sasquatch in British Columbia - The Nova Scotia company that makes mattresses for cows - Saskatchewan’s Willow Bunch Giant, a real man who could lift a horse over his head - The giant fiberglass “Happy Rock” statue in--where else?--Gladstone, Manitoba And much, much more!

Adults don't talk about the business of doing our business. We work on one assumption: the world of public bathrooms is problem- and politics-free. No Place To Go: Answering the Call of Nature in the Urban Jungle reveals the opposite is true. No Place To Go is a toilet tour from London to San Francisco to Toronto and beyond. From pay potties to deserted alleyways, No Place To Go is a marriage of urbanism, social narrative, and pop culture that shows the ways — momentous and mockable — public bathrooms just don't work. Like, for the homeless, who, faced with no place to go sometimes literally take to the streets. (Ever heard of a municipal poop map?) For people with invisible disabilities, such as Crohn’s disease, who stay home rather than risk soiling themselves on public transit routes. For girls who quit sports teams because they don’t want to run to the edge of the pitch to pee. Celebrities like Lady Gaga and Bruce Springsteen have protested bathroom bills that will stomp on the rights of transpeople. And where was Hillary Clinton after she arrived back to the stage late after the first commercial break of the live-televised Democratic leadership debate in December 2015? Stuck in a queue for the women’s bathroom. Peel back the layers on public bathrooms and it’s clear many more people want for good access than have it. Public bathroom access is about cities, society, design, movement, and equity. The real question is: Why are public toilets so crappy?

You’ll never be at a loss for words again with this inspired collection of quotes, from bona fide wits to bona fide dimwits. Bob Hope once said, "I grew up with six brothers. That’s how I learned to dance--waiting for the bathroom." No doubt, lots of people will be learning to tango and foxtrot while they wait for the rabid readers of Uncle John’s Colossal Collection of Quotable Quotes to emerge from the privy. The Bathroom Readers’ Institute searched high and low for the wittiest, wisest and stupidest things ever said, and collected these remarks in one remarkable volume. With more than 4,000 quotations from 1,600 speakers and writers--from bona fide wits like Oscar Wilde and David Letterman, to bona fide dimwits like Britney Spears (who infamously quipped, "I go to lots of overseas places, like Canada.")--there’s no other book of quotations quite like this one.

"The World's Best Bathroom Book" offers light-hearted funnies, little-known facts and intriguing quizzes. A fun gift readers will want for others and for themselves.

“With this charming, sardonic debut, stand up comedian and actor Todd Barry makes readers laugh as hard as the audiences at his shows” (Publishers Weekly) in this hilarious book of travel essays from his time on tour in the US, Canada, and Israel. Hello. It’s Todd Barry. Yes, the massively famous comedian. I have billions of fans all over the world, so I do my fair share of touring. While I love doing shows in the big cities (New York, Philadelphia), I also enjoy a good secondary market (Ithaca, Bethlehem). Performing in these smaller places can be great because not all entertainers stop there on tour; they don’t expect to see you. They’re appreciative. They say things like “Thank you for coming to Hattiesburg” as much as they say “Nice show.” And almost every town has their version of a hipster coffee shop, so I can get in my comfort zone. My original plan was to book one secondary market show in all fifty states, in about a year, but that idea was funnier than anything in my act. So, instead of all fifty states in a year, my agent booked multiple shows in a lot of states, plus Israel and Canada. Thank You for Coming to Hattiesburg is part tour diary, part travel guide, and part memoir (Yes, memoir. Just like the thing presidents and former child stars get to write). Follow me on my journey of small clubs, and the occasional big amphitheater. Watch me make a promoter clean the dressing room toilet in Connecticut, see me stare at beached turtles in Maui, and see how I react when Lars from Metallica shows up to see me at a rec center in Northern California. I’d love to tell you more, but I need to go book a flight to Evansville, Indiana.

All the looniest, wackiest, zaniest grossest jokes, games, puzzles and pranks a kid could ever want in one fun book! Uncle John is back with another For Kids Only masterpiece! Book of Fun is stuffed with wacky facts, gross-out jokes, goofy games, magic tricks, puzzling puzzles, and hilarious pranks. Easy-to-read stories and gags are brought to life with silly illustrations and fun fonts (which research suggests actually help kids build reading and comprehension skills). A sample of the fun to be had: * How to make your own whoopee cushion * Simple calculator tricks to amaze your friends * Classic riddles and mind-boggling brain teasers * Tongue twisters and word games * One-minute mysteries * Silly science tricks * Optical illusions * Lots of jokes . . . like this one: Q: Why do gorillas have big nostrils? A: Because they have big fingers. And much, much more!