Here is a fascinating exploration of the powerful forces of attachment and attraction that determine the formation and styles of couples’relationships. What factors attract one person to another? What determines whether or not a healthy relationship is formed? As therapists know, there is much in this world that passes for love but is really the result of leftover dependency needs and unresolved attachment issues. Attraction and Attachment: Understanding Styles of Relationships examines issues of attachment in relationships, discusses the validity of the concept of codependency as one aspect of attachment, and explores various aspects of attraction. The contributing authors consider some of the many styles of relationships that are called love and examine some of the basic sources of attraction. Attraction and Attachment includes an in-depth evaluation of the concept of codependency, a review of the literature on attraction, methods for achieving equilibrium in sexual intimacy, and some of Virginia Satir’s insights on fear and making changes. Just a few of the specific topics explored in these important chapters include: the relationship of childhood attachment experiences and successful long-term marriages the influence of therapists’implicit philosophies on treatment options and their effectiveness in therapy a review of biological, psychological, and social psychological literature on mate selection a definition of codependency a study of the link between codependency and depression couples’acceptance of alternative treatment formats Psychiatrists, psychologists, and clinical social workers, as well as substance abuse counselors and pastoral counselors, can discover new insights on attraction and attachment in this provocative book. All mental health professionals can find new ways of looking at the foundational elements of relationships that are invaluable to them in their work with couples.

"Invaluable for so many partners looking to reconnect and grow closer together." —Gwyneth Paltrow, founder and CEO of goop "Stan Tatkin can be entirely followed into the towering infernos of our most painful relationship challenges." —Alanis Morissette, artist, activist, and wholeness advocate The complete “insider’s guide” to understanding your partner’s brain, sparking lasting connection, and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust—now with more than 170,000 copies sold. “What the heck is my partner thinking?” “Why do they always react like this?” “How can we get back that connection we had in the beginning?” If you’ve ever asked yourself these questions, you aren’t alone, and it doesn’t mean that your relationship is doomed. Every person is wired for love differently—with different habits, needs, and reactions to conflict. The good news is that most people’s minds work in predictable ways and respond well to security, attachment, and routines, making it possible to neurologically prime the brain for greater love and connection and fewer conflicts. This go-to guide will show you how. Drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this highly anticipated second edition of Wired for Love presents cutting-edge research on how and why love lasts, and offers ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship. This fully revised and updated edition also includes new guidance on how to manage disagreements, as well as new exercises to help you create a sense of safety and security, establish healthy conflict ground rules, and deal with the threat of the third—any outside source which threatens the harmony in your relationship, including in-laws, alcohol, children, and affairs. You’ll find proven-effective strategies to help you strengthen your relationship by: Creating and maintaining a safe “couple bubble” Using morning and evening routines to stay connected Learning how to see your partner’s point of view Meeting each other halfway in a fight Becoming the expert on what makes your partner feel loved By using simple gestures and words, you’ll learn to put out emotional fires and help your partner feel appreciated and loved. You’ll also discover how to move past a “warring brain” mentality and toward a more cooperative “loving brain.” Most importantly, you’ll gain a better understanding of the complex dynamics at work behind love and trust in intimate relationships. While there’s no doubt that love is an inexact science, if you understand how you and your partner are wired differently, you can overcome your differences, and create a lasting intimate connection.

“Over a decade after its publication, one book on dating has people firmly in its grip.” —The New York Times We already rely on science to tell us what to eat, when to exercise, and how long to sleep. Why not use science to help us improve our relationships? In this revolutionary book, psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller scientifically explain why some people seem to navigate relationships effortlessly, while others struggle. Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways: • Anxious people are often preoccupied with their relationships and tend to worry about their partner's ability to love them back. • Avoidant people equate intimacy with a loss of independence and constantly try to minimize closeness. • Secure people feel comfortable with intimacy and are usually warm and loving. Attached guides readers in determining what attachment style they and their mate (or potential mate) follow, offering a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections with the people they love.

Here is a fascinating exploration of the powerful forces of attachment and attraction that determine the formation and styles of couples’relationships. What factors attract one person to another? What determines whether or not a healthy relationship is formed? As therapists know, there is much in this world that passes for love but is really the result of leftover dependency needs and unresolved attachment issues. Attraction and Attachment: Understanding Styles of Relationships examines issues of attachment in relationships, discusses the validity of the concept of codependency as one aspect of attachment, and explores various aspects of attraction.The contributing authors consider some of the many styles of relationships that are called love and examine some of the basic sources of attraction. Attraction and Attachment includes an in-depth evaluation of the concept of codependency, a review of the literature on attraction, methods for achieving equilibrium in sexual intimacy, and some of Virginia Satir’s insights on fear and making changes. Just a few of the specific topics explored in these important chapters include: the relationship of childhood attachment experiences and successful long-term marriages the influence of therapists’implicit philosophies on treatment options and their effectiveness in therapy a review of biological, psychological, and social psychological literature on mate selection a definition of codependency a study of the link between codependency and depression couples’acceptance of alternative treatment formatsPsychiatrists, psychologists, and clinical social workers, as well as substance abuse counselors and pastoral counselors, can discover new insights on attraction and attachment in this provocative book. All mental health professionals can find new ways of looking at the foundational elements of relationships that are invaluable to them in their work with couples.

The national bestselling book Why Him? Why Her? shows how a better understanding of who you are will help you find and keep the love you want Why do you fall in love with one person rather than another? In this fascinating and informative book, Helen Fisher, one of the world's leading experts on romantic love, unlocks the hidden code of desire and attachment. Each of us, it turns out, primarily expresses one of four broad personality types—Explorer, Builder, Director, or Negotiator—and each of these types is governed by different chemical systems in the brain. Driven by this biology, we are attracted to partners who both mirror and complement our own personality type. Until now the search for love has been blind, but Fisher pulls back the curtain and reveals how we unconsciously go about finding the right match. Drawing on her unique study of 40,000 men and women, she explores each personality type in detail and shows you how to identify your own type. Then she explains why some types match up well, whereas others are problematic. (Note to Explorers: be prepared for a wild ride when you hitch your star to a fellow Explorer!) Ultimately, Fisher's investigation into the complex nature of romance and attachment leads to astonishing new insights into the essence of dating, love, and marriage. Based on entirely new research—including a detailed questionnaire completed by seven million people in thirty-three countries—Why Him? Why Her? will change your understanding of why you love him (or her) and help you use nature's chemistry to find and keep your life partner.

An exploration of human behavior examines the innate aspects of love, sex, and marriage, discussing flirting behavior, courting postures, the brain chemistry of attraction, divorce and adultery in societies around the world, and more. Reprint.

A groundbreaking exploration of our most complex and mysterious emotion Elation, mood swings, sleeplessness, and obsession—these are the tell-tale signs of someone in the throes of romantic passion. In this revealing new book, renowned anthropologist Helen Fisher explains why this experience—which cuts across time, geography, and gender—is a force as powerful as the need for food or sleep. Why We Love begins by presenting the results of a scientific study in which Fisher scanned the brains of people who had just fallen madly in love. She proves, at last, what researchers had only suspected: when you fall in love, primordial areas of the brain "light up" with increased blood flow, creating romantic passion. Fisher uses this new research to show exactly what you experience when you fall in love, why you choose one person rather than another, and how romantic love affects your sex drive and your feelings of attachment to a partner. She argues that all animals feel romantic attraction, that love at first sight comes out of nature, and that human romance evolved for crucial reasons of survival. Lastly, she offers concrete suggestions on how to control this ancient passion, and she optimistically explores the future of romantic love in our chaotic modern world. Provocative, enlightening, and persuasive, Why We Love offers radical new answers to the age-old question of what love is and thus provides invaluable new insights into keeping love alive.